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texasgal7611 is offline texasgal7611 Post #1  July 21,2011, 2:38am
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I just recently signed back on to eH to give it one more go -- I know, I must be a glutton for punishment -- and have discovered eH has added a feature that shows when matches were last active.

I log into eH once a day to check my matches and respond to any with whom I am communicating. I believe in responding in a timely manner and try to make the time to do so, despite having a busy schedule. Also, logging in once a day allows me to keep my inbox and archive sections from getting too cluttered.

Some of the matches who initiated communication with me have suddenly gone silent. Some are in OC and I understand that it takes longer to communicate that way since writing a note takes more time, thought and effort. Others however, have been active each day for a week or more, yet haven't responded back to the first round of questions or the MH/CS in GC. Some have even viewed me each day, yet won't respond back. I guess I just find that a little rude for someone to initiate communication, but then not follow through. If they have time to log in every day and/or view me every day, then they should have time to respond.

The other funny thing I have noticed is that almost as soon as I close a nonresponsive match (a week or more with no response or communication), they "suddenly" become interested and decide to view my profile. What's up with that?
 
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OlderButWiser0549 is online now OlderButWiser0549 Post #2  July 21,2011, 3:53am
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texasgal7611 wrote :
(...)

...Others however, have been active each day for a week or more, yet haven't responded back to the first round of questions or the MH/CS in GC. Some have even viewed me each day, yet won't respond back. I guess I just find that a little rude for someone to initiate communication, but then not follow through.

Sadly, this seems to be more the norm than the exception. I've found this "online matching" stuff requires a thick skin. REALLY thick.
 
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djh860 is offline djh860 Post #3  July 21,2011, 5:02am
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You go to a bar how many people do you want to go home with? Honestly only a handful at best. Why should this be any different. Its a numbers game. sadly its a process.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #4  July 21,2011, 5:17am
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They're probably too busy communicating with / dating (an)other(s) which is what you should be doing too. Some people can't handle communicating with, let alone dating more than one person at a time.

Just leave the match open and keep on keeping on.
 
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stayorgo is offline stayorgo Post #5  July 21,2011, 6:29am
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texasgal7611 wrote :

Some of the matches who initiated communication with me have suddenly gone silent. Some are in OC and I understand that it takes longer to communicate that way since writing a note takes more time, thought and effort. Others however, have been active each day for a week or more, yet haven't responded back to the first round of questions or the MH/CS in GC. Some have even viewed me each day, yet won't respond back. I guess I just find that a little rude for someone to initiate communication, but then not follow through. If they have time to log in every day and/or view me every day, then they should have time to respond.

The other funny thing I have noticed is that almost as soon as I close a nonresponsive match (a week or more with no response or communication), they "suddenly" become interested and decide to view my profile. What's up with that?

I sometimes had to view people to remember who they were and whether or not I wanted to continue communication with them. Just because I was viewing someone didn't mean I was interested in them- I just might not remember them as there are many matches a day, and if you don't sign in for a day or two that becomes an exponential issue.

Sometimes people have closed me and I don't remember who they were, so I look at their profile to remember or look because I am curious as to why I might have been closed (ie. Did I say something offensive? Did I take too long to respond? Were we just not a very good match to begin with?)

I think people assume views are interest, when often they are just curiosity.
 
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upstategirl is offline upstategirl Post #6  July 21,2011, 6:40am
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Sounds like they are busy communicating with other matches and have put you on the back burner for now. I would just leave them open and concentrate on other matches for now.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #7  July 21,2011, 6:57am
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stayorgo wrote :
I sometimes had to view people to remember who they were and whether or not I wanted to continue communication with them. Just because I was viewing someone didn't mean I was interested in them- I just might not remember them as there are many matches a day, and if you don't sign in for a day or two that becomes an exponential issue.

Sometimes people have closed me and I don't remember who they were, so I look at their profile to remember or look because I am curious as to why I might have been closed (ie. Did I say something offensive? Did I take too long to respond? Were we just not a very good match to begin with?)

I think people assume views are interest, when often they are just curiosity.
This is something that many people forget - every view is not a sign of interest, it can be a reminder or curiosity or even, with me, going back to copy and paste an answer I used previously.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #8  July 21,2011, 7:11am
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you're assuming these people that view you are subscribers. if you have sent initial questions and they don't reply but view, assume they aren't paying yet.
 
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texasgal7611 is offline texasgal7611 Post #9  July 21,2011, 7:28am
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Most of these are guys who are paid subscribers -- they have already initiated communication with me, but we haven't made it past the first round or past the MH/CS section (I will have replied back with my MH/CS but they have not). A week or more will go by and it will show they have been active each of those days and/or have viewed me each of those days. While a view may or may not indicate interest, I say if it doesn't, then they should close the match instead of repeatedly viewing. And if they have time to log in or be "active" each day, then they ought to have time to respond back. Multiple views/active days with no response suggests a lack of interest. And yes, I am keeping my eyes open to all potential matches, not just fixating on these in particular. Still doesn't make them any less rude, though.

I guess I expect too much as far as common courtesy goes. I paid for a subscription and am not going to let it go to waste by not being responsive. If I am not interested in a match, I close. Simple as that. Just don't know why others don't do the same.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #10  July 21,2011, 7:58am
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in that case I'd nudge them if the option is available and then after they view but still don't respond to the nudge click on Close.

I've experienced the same. I thought it was they way women behaved - I didn't realise men also acted like this.

I had loads I sent 1st questions to who didn't respond and didn't close and then a few who were like that during the GC stage. very annoying.
 
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