Do women CLOSE matches if not interested in Guided Communication?


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3GIG is offline 3GIG Post #1  July 19,2011, 8:51am

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I initiate Guided Communication with women matches (ages 36-44) with whom I feel there is potential: I feel we're both in each others' league in terms of looks, career, money, interests, etc. When I don't get a reply that understandably means she's not interested or too busy with other matches. Most likely these matches have paid subscriptions because they are logging-in several times a week and they have composed quality profile essays.

After sending the Guided Communication request and not hearing back, I send the seven-day NUDGE. Then I check back later in the week to see her profile has been "ACTIVE YESTERDAY." This also means that she can see that I've viewed her (I'm not viewing anonymously)....but still no reply or action.

That cycle has gone on for two weeks with several matches. I realize that these women may not feel the same way about me. WHY DON'T THEY JUST CLOSE ME AS A MATCH?
Last edited by 3GIG; July 19,2011 at 9:18am.
 
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RJS is offline RJS Post #2  July 19,2011, 8:57am
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Ive been wondering the same thing. If they arent interested then at least be decent enough to close me so I KNOW that they arent interested.

EDIT: When you send a "nudge" is it supposed to NOT send you to a different page saying that a nudge has been sent or something?
Last edited by RJS; July 19,2011 at 9:00am.
 
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3GIG is offline 3GIG Post #3  July 19,2011, 9:14am

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RJS wrote :
Ive been wondering the same thing. If they arent interested then at least be decent enough to close me so I KNOW that they arent interested.

EDIT: When you send a "nudge" is it supposed to NOT send you to a different page saying that a nudge has been sent or something?
I think when I "nudge" her, then eHarmony just puts a little icon next to my name/profile which is already in her "Communicating" section. It might look something like this:

MY NAME (nudge icon) Answer His Questions
Last edited by 3GIG; July 19,2011 at 9:17am.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #4  July 19,2011, 9:20am
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It's not just women..The whole not closing thing is a combination of the two step process, and non-active members...

Call it rude, lazy, clueless, whatever.. the bottom line they are focusing on who they are in communication with and you should too...

Don't get caught up in the 'who's viewed me'..' last active' stuff... doing that will only drive you nuts..
Last edited by TrekRyder10; July 19,2011 at 9:26am.
 
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3GIG is offline 3GIG Post #5  July 19,2011, 9:33am

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TrekRyder10 wrote :
It's not just women..The whole not closing thing is a combination of the two step process, and non-active members...


I can tell these women are active paid members.... (see original post)

It's really only a one-step process to close me. When I initiate communication it automatically moves me to her Communicating section. When she opens my profile, she can either click back to her match tab to ignore me or click the CLOSE button (granted, she'd have to do another click to confirm the "Do you really want to close..." if that's what you mean by a two-step process). Closing is not that hard. There has to be another reason why women aren't closing matches.
Last edited by 3GIG; July 19,2011 at 9:37am.
 
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lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #6  July 19,2011, 9:36am
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I can't speak to what women do as I do not contact them.

Some men do not respond or close during communication stages. My assumption is that their interest level dipped or they met someone they are interested in and don't need to continue communication with anyone else presently, but leave it open just in case.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #7  July 19,2011, 9:38am
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3GIG wrote :
I initiate Guided Communication with women matches (ages 36-44) with whom I feel there is potential: I feel we're both in each others' league in terms of looks, career, money, interests, etc. When I don't get a reply that understandably means she's not interested or too busy with other matches. Most likely these matches have paid subscriptions because they are logging-in several times a week and they have composed quality profile essays.

After sending the Guided Communication request and not hearing back, I send the seven-day NUDGE. Then I check back later in the week to see her profile has been "ACTIVE YESTERDAY." This also means that she can see that I've viewed her (I'm not viewing anonymously)....but still no reply or action.

That cycle has gone on for two weeks with several matches. I realize that these women may not feel the same way about me. WHY DON'T THEY JUST CLOSE ME AS A MATCH?
fear that it will get them into trouble?

or they can not be bothered as they are happy to have loads of people sat in limbo?

or they are keeping all their options open?

I don't know.... but what I do know is it's fairly normal.
Last edited by SteveManchesterEngland; July 19,2011 at 2:57pm.
 
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3GIG is offline 3GIG Post #8  July 19,2011, 9:45am

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SteveManchesterEngland wrote :
fear that it will get them into trouble?

or they can not be bothered as they are happy to have loads of people sat in limbo?

or they are keeping all their options option?

I don't know.... but what I do know is it's fairly normal.
OK. I think I understand now: Maybe it's like being shot down in person while trying to ask a woman I've just met for her cell number? She may politely communicate not interested. However, they never laugh or make rude comments or expressions to me. So, maybe NOT CLOSING me is the online equivalent of: 'not interested but I'm not going to make you feel bad for trying.'
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #9  July 19,2011, 9:48am
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TrekRyder10 wrote :
It's not just women..The whole not closing thing is a combination of the two step process, and non-active members...

...
Because EH website is very slow, and because it is a two-step process most probably do not want to take a minute or so per match to close.
 
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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #10  July 19,2011, 9:53am
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SteveManchesterEngland wrote :
fear that it will get them into trouble?

or they can not be bothered as they are happy to have loads of people sat in limbo?

or they are keeping all their options option?
I group them into 3 groups.
NOTE: These groups are ONLY for Active members. I am not considering inactive/non-paying members:

1) They don't Close, because they don't want to hurt someone's feelings or making them feel bad. Perhaps they feel bad when they get Closed, so they have vowed that they won't Close anyone, but instead "act" like they aren't there instead.

This was more prevalent before the "Who's Viewed Me" and "Active Within" stuff, because they could justify it by saying, "They will just think I am not around anymore"

2) They don't Close, because they want to keep you as a back up to their back up to their back up.
Only if their top Matches fall through, will they reconsider you.
When you are here, you aren't even a 2nd or 3rd option to them, because most people have no problems with emailing/chatting with a couple different people.
There used to be a "HOLD" option that indicated this aspect, but it was removed a long time ago, because needless to say, it was rather insulting to be put on to this list, regardless of the "good" intentions some Matches had.

3) They don't Close, because they just don't care or are indifferent.
They aren't interested, and they feel they have better things to do, than waste even one more second by Closing you out.
Remember, un-Closed Matches just "sink" downwards on their screen, and then to the 2nd+ pages.
Out of sight, Out of mind.
These ones I consider the worst, because it indicates a true sense of conceitedness on their part.

Obviously, you never know which group you fall into, but if you read enough Profiles like I have, you will generally have a good guess which one you are in.
 
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