matched with ex-boyfriend - how did this happen?


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scully98 is offline scully98 Post #1  July 19,2011, 3:00am
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my ex-boyfriend texted me last night to say "I know you're on eharmony but don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

I asked him what he was talking about, that yes, I was, but how did he know? he said he'd had a one year membership that expired this month, and after it expired he received a bunch of emails trying to get him to sign back up, and one of the emails had potential matches for him and I was one of them.

He even saw my pictures - he described them.

The thing is, he's not one of my matches. I was never given him as a match. I double-checked. I told him that and he said it was because he wasn't a paying member at the time. But if that's the case, why did he see my pictures? I thought non-paying members couldn't see pictures.

I'm totally stumped. I like eharmony for the privacy, and knowing that at least if someone sees my pictures, I see theirs, too. I had no idea that people could see my profile and me not realize it and not be matched with them, too.

***UPDATE*** see last post on page 3....
Last edited by scully98; July 25,2011 at 10:13am.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  July 19,2011, 4:02am
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Something is off..

If his subscription expired then he would not be able to see pics.

Eh is a closed site, so you two would have to be matched with each other, even if his profile was removed, there would still be a trail, unless eH removed completely for a serious violation.

Can't comment on what emails he received, I turned off receiving anything from eH long time ago, but I don't recall eH sending new matches/profiles via email like match does..
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  July 19,2011, 4:18am
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We all know they've had software issues...at this point, anything is possible...
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #4  July 19,2011, 4:37am
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perhaps he has a friend who has signed up and paid and he's viewed them on his friend's account after his friend recognised you?

or perhaps he has signed up, paid and has setup an account with no photo and got matched with you.
 
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lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #5  July 19,2011, 4:38am
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When I had matching on but was non-paying, I never saw match pictures. Get in touch with customer service and ask for an explanation. The assumption is that only paying matches will be able to see you and many paying users will see it as a privacy issue if that is no longer true.

Is he a dishonest person in any way? Could someone else have been matched with you and told him? Would he create an account using someone else's picture?
 
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gregs4fun is offline gregs4fun Post #6  July 19,2011, 4:52am
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Better than being matched with your sibling.
 
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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #7  July 19,2011, 6:24am
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SteveManchesterEngland wrote :
perhaps he has a friend who has signed up and paid and he's viewed them on his friend's account after his friend recognised you?

or perhaps he has signed up, paid and has setup an account with no photo and got matched with you.
This is probably the case.
One of his friends got matched to her, and the friend probably mentioned it to him.
That would probably lead to the friend sharing what the photos looked like, etc.

It is also possible that he hacked into eHarmony in some way, but this one is probably a lot less likely, unless you use the term "hack" lightly.

If he was your ex-bf, did he have any knowledge of the passwords you tend to use?
Is one of those passwords one you use on eHarmony?
If so, first things first. Change your password!
 
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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #8  July 19,2011, 6:24am
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SteveManchesterEngland wrote :
perhaps he has a friend who has signed up and paid and he's viewed them on his friend's account after his friend recognised you?

or perhaps he has signed up, paid and has setup an account with no photo and got matched with you.
This is probably the case.
One of his friends got matched to her, and the friend probably mentioned it to him.
That would probably lead to the friend sharing what the photos looked like, etc.

It is also possible that he h*cked into eHarmony in some way, but this one is probably a lot less likely, unless you use the term "h*ck" lightly.

If he was your ex-bf, did he have any knowledge of the passwords you tend to use?
Is one of those passwords one you use on eHarmony?
If so, first things first. Change your password!
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #9  July 19,2011, 6:45am
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I agree, change your password. Especially as his story doesn't add up.

Better to be cautious.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #10  July 19,2011, 6:48am
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He also could've discovered you on here..
 
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