FreeFalling is offline FreeFalling Post #1  June 29,2011, 7:05pm
FreeFalling's Avatar

is pining for Ocracoke

Quick Study

Joined: Apr 2011

New Paltz, NY

Posts: 55

See profile

This is something that's happened twice within one week, and never before in the four months of my membership. A match accepts email communication, with no letter replying to my first. Am I just thinking about this too much ... because it then seems hard to start a second letter without a "thank you for agreeing to write to me" ... which actually sounds a bit desperate .... no ?
 
  Reply With Quote
shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #2  June 29,2011, 8:15pm
shapeShifter7…'s Avatar

likes dancing!

Board Leader: Health & Wellness

Joined: Apr 2011

CA

Posts: 2,499

See profile

wrote :
A match accepts email communication, with no letter replying to my first.
They "accept" because they wanted to see what you had to say. They were not impressed enough to reply.

wrote :
it then seems hard to start a second letter without a "thank you for agreeing to write to me" ... which actually sounds a bit desperate .... no ?
Yup, that would sound rather desperate!

Question--you spent a time writing her a message, and she didn't bother to reply. Is that the sort of woman you want to court?
 
  Reply With Quote
ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #3  June 29,2011, 9:27pm
ami1uwant's Avatar

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2008

Seattle, WA

Posts: 4,640

See profile

If I am understanding...they read what you wrote them but have not replied to you yet. this could be they arent interested....or because of what you asked they feel they didnt have the time to respond to your questions so they opted to wait to reply later....but they may forget.

If you dont get a reply in a week....send them another email message li"ke "how are you doing? how was your weekend?" then see if you get a response...its possible they forgot its possible they thought they sent a reply but the system didnt send it...thus they erased it.

THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME. AA fe times you hit send and the system doesnt send...but if you dont check the screen...you dont realize it. Also I had a time a person replied to me but I never received the response and she told me she did reply and answer my questions.
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #4  June 29,2011, 9:54pm
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,149

See profile

Two reasons this could happen. 1. They don't realize they need to respond before you can send a second e-mail to them. 2. They weren't impressed with your message and decided to just leave it be.

Oh, one more thing that seems to put a monkey wrench into things is when the person you sent the OC to is a non-paying member. I believe they can only go to the subscription page and are prompted to pay to read what you sent, so it may look like they accepted when they really didn't. I couldn't tell you if this is completely true, as I have never communicated with someone who has sent me a direct to OC when I or the other person was a NPM.
 
  Reply With Quote
kididaho is offline kididaho Post #5  June 29,2011, 10:16pm
kididaho's Avatar

is happy.

Quick Study

Joined: Jun 2011

Nashville, TN

Posts: 126

See profile

You're not thinking about it too much. This person gave you the impression she was interested in communicating with you, but hasn't, after you've taken the time to write her first. You've invested your money and time in finding a relationship, so I don't think you're overacting by being a bit confused. We all hope people we are getting matched with are also serious about finding a quality relationship, and are willing to put forth the same effort as you.

I had the same thing happen to me earlier in the week. This girl starts communication and we get to the open ended questions, where I answer mine, but she never answers hers. So, I give her the opportunity to just skip it and start emailing, which she accepts, but I also did not receive any return mail.

In my opinion, I'm better than being left in limbo land, and fortunately, she's not the only person on my match list, so she was guided right into the closed group with open arms.

I understand people get busy and all that, but so am I, as I have a life outside of eHarmony. However, writing an email or answering a couple of questions isn't anything overly complicated or time consuming, which tells me her interests are marginal at best.

Needless to say, Shapeshifter asks the question eloquently. Unless she's blind, deaf and dumb, it's best to find a mate that can demonstrate her ability and desire to read, write and talk.

On to the trash bin of closed matches and on to someone who actually takes a genuine interest in you.
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  June 29,2011, 10:20pm
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,149

See profile

kididaho, I think you misunderstood. He sent the first communication, not her.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  June 30,2011, 7:02am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

AndieIsMe wrote :
Two reasons this could happen. 1. They don't realize they need to respond before you can send a second e-mail to them. 2. They weren't impressed with your message and decided to just leave it be.

Oh, one more thing that seems to put a monkey wrench into things is when the person you sent the OC to is a non-paying member. I believe they can only go to the subscription page and are prompted to pay to read what you sent, so it may look like they accepted when they really didn't. I couldn't tell you if this is completely true, as I have never communicated with someone who has sent me a direct to OC when I or the other person was a NPM.
This is most likely the problem. eHamony sends them an e-mail to their regular e-mail that you would like to jump directly to Open Communication. No where does eHarmony indicate that you have in fact send an e-mail at the same time that you requested jumping directly to OC. Unless they are familiar with how this works on eHarmony, and few people are, they have no clue that there is an e-mail from you that is awaiting their reply. Keep reading.

I am not entirely sure how this would work as a non-paying member during a non-FCW time. I believe that the person would be notified that "Someone" wants to communicate with them but not told which match it is that has sent the e-mail.

Once upon a time what method of communication your matches preferred was shown on their profile page. About 99.9% of my matches preferred to use Guided Communication. You will have better luck with eHarmony using the GC rather than jumping to e-mail. You will avoid putting off matches that prefer GC, you will avoid confusion from matches that are not aware that you have sent an e-mail when you requested jumping to OC and you will avoid not being able to communicate with non-paying members during a FCW.
 
  Reply With Quote
SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #8  June 30,2011, 7:42am
SteveManchest…'s Avatar

is too happy

Power Poster

Joined: Dec 2010

rainy uk

Posts: 5,026

See profile

kididaho wrote :
.....I had the same thing happen to me earlier in the week. This girl starts communication and we get to the open ended questions, where I answer mine, but she never answers hers. So, I give her the opportunity to just skip it and start emailing, which she accepts, but I also did not receive any return mail.

In my opinion, I'm better than being left in limbo land, and fortunately, she's not the only person on my match list, so she was guided right into the closed group with open arms.....
I like your style! especially the "guided right into the closed group with open arms"! that made me chuckle!
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Please I need an Honest opinion | Using eHarmony | Smiles »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Closing a Match During Open Communication PinkLilies Using eHarmony 12 May 27,2010 2:13pm
Closed for "Did not respond"..... AndieIsMe Using eHarmony 15 March 29,2010 11:51am
Not interested in communicating, not disinterested enough to close redeyesandtears Using eHarmony 6 September 24,2009 6:16pm
Congratulations! Your match requested communication! geonaty Using eHarmony 7 September 18,2009 6:29pm
guided communication nancy2801 Using eHarmony 11 June 14,2009 11:38am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Thanks! dmi said it best when he said the variation between races are too wide to exclude any race.” –  sun73

Join the “How much does race play in your dating someone?” discussion

“ If you know, then, that you've already friend-zoned him, I don't see much point in meeting. I misread your op and thought you were just trying to decide how you felt about him. If you know you ... ” –  singinggirl

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“You are very Welcome Simplicity...” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“ We also have the same friends. Yesterday there was an outing and I decided to go regardless if he was going to be there or not. Every time he saw me he went somewhere else. One of his friends ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Can I wait and move on at the same time?” discussion

“You will have the option to close a match at any time, but if it is ONLY giving you the option to close, that means the other person has already closed it.” –  eH_Advice_Host_Eve

Join the “Question, archive, close...” discussion

“ Very true, this is a high percentage of the members who use free comm weekends.” –  eH_Advice_Host_Eve

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 3:56pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0