Hmm. I wonder if she just wanted to be the one to hit he close button


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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #1  June 28,2011, 5:45pm
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I talked to a woman for the first time yesterday and the conversation was deader then a doornail from the very beginning. Didn't surprise me because although she responded very promptly (within hours or even within an hour) her emails often left a lot to be desired (at least compared to what I am used to (the only reason why I did decide to get her number was because she responded so quickly)).

Well after a couple minutes I was ready to hang up and never talk to her again (I just said I'll call you some time again just as a polite way to end it and get off the phone). Well after I said that she apologized and said that she would send me an email tomorrow (which would be today) and that she just wasn't doing real well right now because her friends husband died (which she did mention in one of her emails).

So I didn't go ahead and close her and just waited to see what she would say in the email. Lol, well today she went ahead and closed me.

I wonder if she got a hunch that I was gonna close her after that phone chat (which I would of) and she just wanted to be the one who did the closing.

In anycase this is a very clear reason why I think it is a good idea to talk on the phone before meeting. This way I can find out that this person wasn't really worth meeting before we actually met.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #2  June 28,2011, 5:51pm
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The thing is, you still don't know if you misjudged her because she was down in the dumps regarding her friend...then she might have sensed that you were going to close her(the ambiguous language you used)and then, like you said..she closed you.
She jumped first, s'all.
In this particular instance, I don't think either one of you found out much about the other because of the special circumstances.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #3  June 28,2011, 6:02pm
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TheThinker wrote :
The thing is, you still don't know if you misjudged her because she was down in the dumps regarding her friend...then she might have sensed that you were going to close her(the ambiguous language you used)and then, like you said..she closed you.
She jumped first, s'all.
In this particular instance, I don't think either one of you found out much about the other because of the special circumstances.
I believe though that a bad communicator online (which she was before she mentioned anything about the friend), a bad communicator over the phone, will in many cases be a bad communicator in real life as well.

I have also talked with people over the site that had been going through some hard times as well and although the event probably did keep us from eventually meeting when we did talk they were always very nice and wrote thoughtful emails and were conversational over the phone.
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #4  June 28,2011, 6:05pm
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sony12 wrote :
she apologized and said that she would send me an email tomorrow (which would be today) and that she just wasn't doing real well right now because her friends husband died (which she did mention in one of her emails).

So I didn't go ahead and close her and just waited to see what she would say in the email. Lol, well today she went ahead and closed me.

I wonder if she got a hunch that I was gonna close her after that phone chat (which I would of) and she just wanted to be the one who did the closing.

In anycase this is a very clear reason why I think it is a good idea to talk on the phone before meeting. This way I can find out that this person wasn't really worth meeting before we actually met.
I'd agree that given the special circumstances you may not have discovered her true personality from that phone call. As an alternate explanation, if someone told me she wasn't doing so well just now because her friend's husband died I would offer my condolences, ask whether she wanted to talk about it, and tell her not to worry about sending me a message the next day. I wonder if you reacted in a way that made her decide the e-mail wasn't worth it?

::shrug::

No worries. There are many fish in the sea.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #5  June 28,2011, 6:15pm
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Some people close people on Eharmony after they exchanged phone numbers and are talking offline.

Not sure how to read her actions.

Given her friends death she mentioned I would have backed off a bit because the timing wasnt good right now and not forced the conversation.
 
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SearchingHoping is offline SearchingHoping Post #6  June 28,2011, 6:19pm
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sony12 wrote :
I wonder if she got a hunch that I was gonna close her after that phone chat (which I would of) and she just wanted to be the one who did the closing.

In anycase this is a very clear reason why I think it is a good idea to talk on the phone before meeting. This way I can find out that this person wasn't really worth meeting before we actually met.
The best outcome of this non-relationship is that it was reciprocal. You are both on the same page. Good!

However, I do not fully understand your thread title: "I wonder if she just wanted to be the one to hit the close button". Someone has to do it first. What is the big issue? Nobody gets credit card points or miles for closing first.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #7  June 28,2011, 6:23pm
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shapeShifter79 wrote :
. I wonder if you reacted in a way that made her decide the e-mail wasn't worth it?
Who knows. I wasn't too worried about it because her communications (though prompt) had been pretty poor up to that point. I was just curious as to how her email would sound if she sent one.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #8  June 28,2011, 6:26pm
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SearchingHoping wrote :
However, I do not fully understand your thread title: "I wonder if she just wanted to be the one to hit the close button". Someone has to do it first. What is the big issue? Nobody gets credit card points or miles for closing first.
You know there are a lot of people who would want to end the communication rather then it be ended on them.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #9  June 28,2011, 6:39pm
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sony12 wrote :
I have also talked with people over the site that had been going through some hard times as well and although the event probably did keep us from eventually meeting when we did talk they were always very nice and wrote thoughtful emails and were conversational over the phone.
And people handle grief differently...trust me, I've had more than my share in life..more than you could ever know.

What's done is done...you didn't learn anything and neither did she.
Now ya live with it.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #10  June 28,2011, 7:35pm
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sony12 wrote :
I talked to a woman for the first time yesterday and the conversation was deader then a doornail from the very beginning. Didn't surprise me because although she responded very promptly (within hours or even within an hour) her emails often left a lot to be desired (at least compared to what I am used to (the only reason why I did decide to get her number was because she responded so quickly)).

Well after a couple minutes I was ready to hang up and never talk to her again (I just said I'll call you some time again just as a polite way to end it and get off the phone). Well after I said that she apologized and said that she would send me an email tomorrow (which would be today) and that she just wasn't doing real well right now because her friends husband died (which she did mention in one of her emails).

So I didn't go ahead and close her and just waited to see what she would say in the email. Lol, well today she went ahead and closed me.

I wonder if she got a hunch that I was gonna close her after that phone chat (which I would of) and she just wanted to be the one who did the closing.

In any case this is a very clear reason why I think it is a good idea to talk on the phone before meeting. This way I can find out that this person wasn't really worth meeting before we actually met.
You were not interested in her even before talking on the phone.

As for talking on the phone, I have very little to say on the phone but I can very well hold up my end of a conversation in person.
 
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