Should women initiate communication?


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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #31  June 29,2011, 8:12am
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AndieIsMe wrote :
BY, I didn't realize you started a thread specifically stating that you do this.
Yeah.

wrote :
My last statement you quoted came out weird. I think maybe I forgot a word or two! It was supposed to say "I'm not sure how someone can determine if they want to even consider sending first questions to someone else without first viewing a profile though." Basically, if you don't "view" the profile you can't communicate, but if everyone has the rule that they wait until the other views them no one would be viewing anyone else.
I understand. Basically, it really doesn't matter who does what first, second or last. What does matter is whether people take advantage of the site they are paying for or not. As for rules, like I have stated before, everyone has rules, boundaries, parameters and so forth. Each person has his/her own rules that governs them. For me, I set my rules for me so I can help myself deal with the realities of online dating and control my emotions. When you initiate communication with a plethora of individuals and don't get the results you are seeking, then naturally you will take a different approach in order to change your results. This is what I do. With that, I had to find a way to cope with the frustrations online dating brings forth. What ways can I deal with the failures without taking things personal? Well, I found a way in which I have shared. It helps me deal with things even if I am not necessarily gaining the results I am seeking. I think that is pretty much all I can do.

Lastly, no individuals know what the future holds when dealing with others on a dating site. At best, we can make a guess or decision of whether someone is date worthy based on limited data, perception based on limited data and so forth. I think all of us, yes all of us have unaccurately assessed some of our matches we've concluded is not date worthy during our tenure on a dating site. We will truely never know about someone until we have actually dealt with said individual on a personal basis which does take a considerable amount of time. But, I have learned that people, including myself are comfortable with making such assessments. It is just simply much easier to make a snap judgment or quick assessment than to find out via trial and error.

I think the OP needs to do what she needs to do in order to gain the results she is seeking. If she insists upon men initiating communication with her, then fine. I just hope that she would respond to every man who does initiate communication with her otherwise she will find herself having a difficult time with online dating. Just a thought.

B.Y.
 
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kris4jc is offline kris4jc Post #32  June 29,2011, 2:24pm
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shapeShifter79 wrote :
If you want to have far fewer options because it's imperative that the guy initiate everything, that's up to you. The more genuine interest you're willing to show (on eH, dates, and phone calls), the more discerning you can about other aspects of your mates.
I agree that we should feel free to initiate contact, I'm more concerned with how it comes across to a guy. When you find a match compatible with yourself as a guy do you respond right away or do you wait, and what do you think of a girl who initiates contact with you?
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #33  June 29,2011, 4:10pm
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kris4jc wrote :
I agree that we should feel free to initiate contact, I'm more concerned with how it comes across to a guy. When you find a match compatible with yourself as a guy do you respond right away or do you wait, and what do you think of a girl who initiates contact with you?
if I received a compatible match I would respond asap.

if a girl initiates contact it comes across as secure, strong and assertive. if you can not be bothered to make the effort then why should men be interested?
Last edited by SteveManchesterEngland; June 29,2011 at 4:14pm.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #34  June 29,2011, 8:43pm
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SteveManchesterEngland wrote :
if a girl initiates contact it comes across as secure, strong and assertive.
Or maybe she's just practicing the "spray and pray" method so many guys do!

When I get a communication from a match I don't think he's secure, strong and assertive. I just think he's interested.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #35  June 30,2011, 5:06am
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
Or maybe she's just practicing the "spray and pray" method so many guys do!

When I get a communication from a match I don't think he's secure, strong and assertive. I just think he's interested.
Based on the comments I've read so far, those that fear initiating are insecure, weak and lack assertiveness. Therefore I concluded that those that don't have such fear are secure, strong and assertive.
 
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