Profile Review Please! 25/F/UT

have you considered using one of those "dating profile writing" services ?

Here is most of the info I have on my profile. I have changed it often since I joined eH (2 months ago), and I really do think it sounds like "me" more than it originally did. I just wanted to see what other people think, since I have only had 3 people contact me (and it never went anywhere). Thanks!

What are you most passionate about?

I am most passionate about just being myself. Being myself means I love singing, teaching, dreaming, playing games (the board and card kind, not the dumb girl kind), being funny (or trying to be), making to-do lists, praying, learning, playing volleyball, reading, talking to people, dancing (when no one is around!), laughing, cooking, exercising, coloring/drawing, watching tv, writing, traveling, meeting new people, and just enjoying every day. I don't like reading lists, and I think that is the general feeling towards this section. I would pick one (or two) things and expand on them. Is teaching your occupation? I think that would be a good topic for this section.

Who has been the most influential person?

Without sounding like I can't/don't think for myself, I would say it is nearly impossible to not be influenced by every person you come in contact with. I am always observing the people around me, and seeing things that inspire me to be a better/different person. As far as some specific individuals that stand out, I would say my older brother (a little sibling rivalry is great for making someone want to be their best!), some of my teachers, and my students (it's amazing how when you know you're being "watched" all the time, you strive to be the best example you can possibly be). I would delete all in red, it starts off with a negative/defensive though. I would pick one of the individuals you mentioned and expand on it. Everyone has multiple people who have influenced them, the one you describe doesn't really have to be *the* most. Just pick someone and use it as a way to tell your match a little more about yourself.

What is the most important quality you are looking for in another person?

The most important thing is that whoever I end up with, he will be my best friend. I imagine that my best friend would be someone who loves to laugh, is reliable, likes/plays sports, likes dogs, doesn't take himself too seriously, likes travel, has a relationship with God, likes going out or staying in, is close with his family, is willing to try new things, is independent, likes kids, knows when to be funny and when to be serious, is honest, and can just enjoy the little everyday things together. Notice how I was able to get around the "just pick one" thing? Yeah, I am kind of sneaky like that!

What is the first thing people notice about you?

Around here, it is my accent. I am always getting asked where I am from, or people repeat words that I say (for example, do you pronounce the word "bag" like "bad" with a g or like the beginning of "bagel"?? I am the second one...which apparently is really funny somehow?). But other than that, people see that I am almost always smiling and laughing about something.

What's one thing people don't notice about you that you wish they did?

People tend to miss my amazingly witty and clever comments...perhaps I don't talk loud enough? And I know it says ONE thing, but I will use the rest of the characters to add: my singing voice, my SceneIt! skills, my ability to memorize entire movies, my dislike of loud talkers, my sarcasm, that I am always daydreaming, that I can associate any word with a song, I love all things office-supply related, my desire to help people, my love of kids/teaching, my attempts to be the funniest person in the room, I am a natural blonde, my cute toes, my cooking skills, and that I am very good at seeing things from multiple perspectives. Some people don't like lists but overall I like this section, it gives me an idea who you are. I didn't quite get the things in red, I would take them out. If you decided to change this section and focus on one or two things, I liked the ones in green.

Any additional information?

Don't let the "Utah thing" scare you; I don't fit any UT stereotype you can think of (I'm sure you've heard a few!). I was born in MN & raised in WI, but I moved to UT about 3 years ago. I decided to join eHarmony because it is very hard to meet Christian guys here in Utah (shocking right?!). This may put me at a slight disadvantage because my first impression is written, but I answered honestly & tried to type it as I would say it. I'm not afraid to contact you first, though I am generally not a very "forward" girl (I guess we all get a little braver online!). So you may as well respond, because how much can you learn from just a profile?

Without sounding like I can't/don't think for myself, I would say it is nearly impossible to not be influenced by every person you come in contact with. I am always observing the people around me, and seeing things that inspire me to be a better/different person. As far as some specific individuals that stand out, I would say my older brother (a little sibling rivalry is great for making someone want to be their best!), some of my teachers, and my students (it's amazing how when you know you're being "watched" all the time, you strive to be the best example you can possibly be).

I guess it does sound kind of like rambling... They give you 300-500 characters per question, so why wouldn't I try to include as much info as possible?"

What are you most passionate about?

I am most passionate about just being myself. Being myself means I love singing, teaching, dreaming, playing games (the board and card kind, not the dumb girl kind), being funny (or trying to be), making to-do lists, praying, learning, playing volleyball, reading, talking to people, dancing (when no one is around!), laughing, cooking, exercising, coloring/drawing, watching tv, writing, traveling, meeting new people, and just enjoying every day.

The first sentence is a cop out. Take a little time and consider - what elicits a passionate response from you? Do you feel really great on a day you volunteer? Did you pursue a career you love? What do you look forward to most every day? Any one of the answers to those questions would be an interesting way to answer. You can put the type of list above under "leisure"


Who has been the most influential person?

Without sounding like I can't/don't think for myself, I would say it is nearly impossible to not be influenced by every person you come in contact with. I am always observing the people around me, and seeing things that inspire me to be a better/different person. As far as some specific individuals that stand out, I would say my older brother (a little sibling rivalry is great for making someone want to be their best!), some of my teachers, and my students (it's amazing how when you know you're being "watched" all the time, you strive to be the best example you can possibly be).

While this is true, it doesn't say anything about you. Take one relationship that is important to you and consider why it is important - it will show how you relate to people and what you value in others.

What is the most important quality you are looking for in another person?

The most important thing is that whoever I end up with, he will be my best friend. I imagine that my best friend would be someone who loves to laugh, is reliable, likes/plays sports, likes dogs, doesn't take himself too seriously, likes travel, has a relationship with God, likes going out or staying in, is close with his family, is willing to try new things, is independent, likes kids, knows when to be funny and when to be serious, is honest, and can just enjoy the little everyday things together. Notice how I was able to get around the "just pick one" thing? Yeah, I am kind of sneaky like that!

This is...chunky. People don't read lists, they scan them. This reads as "sports, travel, God, funny, honest." Keep the best friend and then consider briefly expanding on that - like someone who has a relationship with God, would be happy going to a [certain team/sport's] game or having a quiet night in, and puts family first. It gives a much clearer picture - what you prioritize says something about YOU. Not being able to prioritize may say something about you, too.


What is the first thing people notice about you?

Around here, it is my accent. I am always getting asked where I am from, or people repeat words that I say (for example, do you pronounce the word "bag" like "bad" with a g or like the beginning of "bagel"?? I am the second one...which apparently is really funny somehow?). But other than that, people see that I am almost always smiling and laughing about something.

Funny, light, says you don't take yourself too seriously. Good answer

What's one thing people don't notice about you that you wish they did?

People tend to miss my amazingly witty and clever comments...perhaps I don't talk loud enough? And I know it says ONE thing, but I will use the rest of the characters to add: my singing voice, my SceneIt! skills, my ability to memorize entire movies, my dislike of loud talkers, my sarcasm, that I am always daydreaming, that I can associate any word with a song, I love all things office-supply related, my desire to help people, my love of kids/teaching, my attempts to be the funniest person in the room, I am a natural blonde, my cute toes, my cooking skills, and that I am very good at seeing things from multiple perspectives.

lol - they say one thing b/c they mean one thing!! Again, you want to give a clear picture and what you consider important enough to select as your ONE thing says a lot about you. The last thing about multiple perspectives is different - that may be a good answer, depending on how you expand (see? just naming something on a list doesn't tell me anything - you need to say why you chose it and what is means to you).

Any additional information?

Don't let the "Utah thing" scare you; I don't fit any UT stereotype you can think of (I'm sure you've heard a few!). I was born in MN & raised in WI, but I moved to UT about 3 years ago. I decided to join eHarmony because it is very hard to meet Christian guys here in Utah (shocking right?!). This may put me at a slight disadvantage because my first impression is written, but I answered honestly & tried to type it as I would say it. I'm not afraid to contact you first, though I am generally not a very "forward" girl (I guess we all get a little braver online!). So you may as well respond, because how much can you learn from just a profile?
The background on where you've lived would be better saved for conversation - you hinted at a different background in your "one thing." Let that be a little mystery.

The other stuff sounds...not quite desperate, but not confident either. Nix it (and don't replace it with "just ask" or "I guess you'll have to find out" b/c guys do that all the time and it's so cheesy). You should touch on the Christian thing more strongly in the "one quality" section - it's a deal maker for you, so just say it and say it where it belongs. You can use this section to say you have a pet or will only be living in UT for the next year or whatever sort of pertinent but not otherwise addressed info would go. You don't have to answer this section if you don't have more to say.