nick222 is offline nick222 Post #51  June 24,2011, 6:25pm
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nightling wrote :
I am not a regular poster and have nothing to do with the tone of certain themes at the board.
Everyone who posts contributes to the themes of the boards. You needn't be a regular poster.
 
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Mike74 is offline Mike74 Post #52  June 25,2011, 6:09pm
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nightling wrote :
I do try to keep an open mind and evaluate each person individually.
Nightling, I think you've answered your own question right there. If the guy is otherwise someone that you'd consider dating, at least continue communication. Although there are several Must Haves and Can't Stands that might concern me, I typically don't put too much weight on them -- for all of the reasons discussed in this thread. I would not close a woman that initiated communication with me, and was otherwise appealing, because of anything in her MH/CS.

Besides, your purpose on eHarmony is to meet a man, not to police the apparent hypocrisy of you matches. Talk with the guy, and you should be able to determine whether he exhibits any of the negative qualities that you fear based upon this particular MH/CS.

I wish you the best,

Mike
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #53  June 25,2011, 7:13pm
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Mike74 wrote :
Besides, your purpose on eHarmony is to meet a man, not to police the apparent hypocrisy of you matches. Talk with the guy, and you should be able to determine whether he exhibits any of the negative qualities that you fear based upon this particular MH/CS.
My purpose isn't to meet men/women, my purpose is to find a compatible partner. The earlier in the process you detect a serious dealbreaker, the less the process costs you. Meeting every woman would drive me crazy!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #54  June 26,2011, 6:01am
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TheThinker wrote :
Nightling,
I would say this...had he not sent you that particular MH/CS would you have closed him because of his appearance?
if you can answer yes, then close him.

If you would answer no..then keep communicating.
Reason? beauty is in the eye of the beholder...and he sends that to all matches, so if he's chosen to communicate with you, he obviously finds you very attractive.
This is very true. Particularly the word ALL.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #55  June 26,2011, 6:06am
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shapeShifter79 wrote :
My purpose isn't to meet men/women, my purpose is to find a compatible partner. The earlier in the process you detect a serious dealbreaker, the less the process costs you. Meeting every woman would drive me crazy!
You cannot judge "chemistry" or compatibility until you have met in person. To approach each match with the intent of trying to find some "deal breaker" so that you can eliminate them from the start is a rather self-limiting approach.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #56  June 26,2011, 6:44am
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Last edited by nightling; June 26,2011 at 6:50am.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #57  June 26,2011, 6:45am
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nick222 wrote :
Everyone who posts contributes to the themes of the boards. You needn't be a regular poster.
That wasn't my point. The point is, I don't know anything about themes at the board, so it's not fair to come stomp on my post for stuff other people are saying that really has pretty little to do with anything I was asking about!
Last edited by nightling; June 26,2011 at 6:49am.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #58  June 26,2011, 8:05am
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nightling wrote :
That wasn't my point. The point is, I don't know anything about themes at the board, so it's not fair to come stomp on my post for stuff other people are saying that really has pretty little to do with anything I was asking about!
I certainly wasn't attempting to stomp on your post. I was in fact responding to and quoting someone else's post, not yours, so I'm even sure what we're arguing about. When I'm responding to you I will quote your posts. Comments on themes are just that: Comments on themes. If your post isn't a part of the theme, then it's not about you. If it is, then you're only responsible for your part of it, not for the posts of others.
 
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