a_space is offline a_space Post #1  June 23,2011, 6:33pm
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The one thing I am most passionate about:

Graphic Design, Visual Communication, Art.


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:

Genuineness & Strength of Self (I don't want to Joke about this answer)


Basic Information
Occupation: Creative Director
Age 37
Height 6' 2"
Wants Kids: Maybe
Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity White, non-Hispanic
Religion: Neither religious nor spiritual
Drinks: A few times a year
Smokes: Never


In my own words

The most influential person in my life has been:

My Uncle H, he help shape my taste in culture, music, art, and lifestyle.



The three things which I am most thankful for:

health
mom
dad


Three of my best life-skills are:

Using humor to make friends laugh
Being a good friend and companion
Managing my finances


The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

That I'm better than them at everything! (on second thought - it's probably better that they don't)


The things I can't live without are:

Is this a trick question?


The first thing people notice about me:

that I am a Man... or maybe they notice that feeling of nausea I provoke. I'm never sure what that look is...


Some additional information I want you to know:

Thanks for participating. It's fun to dream, when love is fleeting. I reality I enjoy having fun. I'm sure somewhere here on eharmony there is a tutorial that says I should take this profile seriously - who needs rules. I looking for the girl I want to marry and I want to have fun doing it! So hopefully if you've gotten this far I've at least put one smile on your face or you want to kick my [profanity deleted by moderator]!


My interests

I typically spend my leisure time:

Golfing, Creating, Being Outdoors. Ive been thinking alot about buying a kayak lately.


The last book I read and enjoyed:

Phonebook, I found the number I was looking for!

According to my friends:

My friends describe me as:

Genuine
Easy-Going
Respectful
Intelligent
Last edited by Sassafras54; June 23,2011 at 9:59pm. Reason: profanity deleted by moderator
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMeAdvice Member-Moderator Post #2  June 23,2011, 6:58pm
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First thing I notice is that most of your answers are "joking". Which is fine, to an extent. But, if you make everything a "joke" then your matches might think that you don't take your dating life serious enough. Try toning it down just a tad.

You also need to expand your answer in the Most Passionate section. While it says exactly what you are passionate about, it leaves a lot to be desired. I would think someone who is creative could be "more" creative in their description.

I did chuckle at some of your answers, but try to balance it with some seriousness on the parts that are. I think if you at least appeared to put as much effort into the "not funny" parts of your profile as you did the funny parts it would be a great profile.

*****

I'm also putting on record that as a Member Moderator I did notice the masked obscenity. But, because it is part of his profile that is being reviewed I'm not reporting it! FYI, a_space, those are not allowed on the advice site.
 
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a_space is offline a_space Post #3  June 23,2011, 7:05pm
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Excellent advice Thank you. I will put more effort into the more serious responses.

I was a little uncomfortable with the 'masked' obscenity myself. I'm not sure if the PG version (rear end) has the same effect? Last thing I'd want to do is be offensive. I will edit it.
 
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a_space is offline a_space Post #4  June 23,2011, 7:37pm
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EDITS

The one thing I am most passionate about:

Graphic Design, Visual Communication, Art. I love the fear that the blank canvas presents and the drive that fuels that challenge. All the stages of refinement... happy then unhappy then happy again then... Beautiful.


The most influential person in my life has been:

My Uncle H - he was an edgy freelance photographer that definitely carved his own path, he unknowingly shape my taste in culture, music, art, and lifestyle. I think all started at a very young age (4-5ish) when he let me put on his headphones and raid his LP collection...




Some additional information I want you to know:

Thanks for participating. It's fun to dream, when love is fleeting. I reality I enjoy having fun. I'm sure somewhere here on eharmony there is a tutorial that says I should take this profile seriously - who needs rules. I looking for the girl I want to marry and I want to have fun doing it! So hopefully if you've gotten this far I've at least put one smile on your face or you want to kick my (censored)!
 
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KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #5  June 24,2011, 10:34am
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a_space wrote :
The one thing I am most passionate about:

Graphic Design, Visual Communication, Art.


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:

Genuineness & Strength of Self (I don't want to Joke about this answer)


Basic Information
Occupation: Creative Director This is interesting.
Age 37
Height 6' 2"
Wants Kids: Maybe (why maybe???? assuming the right woman? You really don't know whether you see yourself as a dad?)
Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity White, non-Hispanic
Religion: Neither religious nor spiritual
Drinks: A few times a year
Smokes: Never


In my own words

The most influential person in my life has been:

My Uncle H, he help shape my taste in culture, music, art, and lifestyle. He led me to the blues lifestyle. Crawdads and creole.

Give some more specifics. This lack of specificity is my main critique of your profile. The reader will have no idea if you are Buddy Holly/BBQ and Macs or LLcool J, tacos, PC's, and cadillacs. What MUSIC? Garth or electronic or blues. What ART? Monet? street art? Are all of these seriously equal to you? What culture? Seriously, is there any more vague word? Etc.

The three things which I am most thankful for:

health
mom
dad

This ONLY works if you add some detail elsewhere. Otherwise it reads bland.


Three of my best life-skills are:

Using humor to make friends laugh
Being a good friend and companion
Managing my finances


The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

That I'm better than them at everything! (on second thought - it's probably better that they don't)

This is funny if you stop pushing the humor elsewhere.

The things I can't live without are:

Is this a trick question?

FAIL. You have just failed to connect to your target audience. Don't be so literal. We have heard the air, water....too many times to count. Use this as an opportunity to connect, to use sensory language, to create either opportunities for questions/or a ME TOO! moment. Crunchy peanut butter. ME too! The smell of bacon on Saturday mornings. The feel of the Willamette river as I put in my kayak. A hot shower after a night run. A fresh piece of paper on my drafting board. The taste....


The first thing people notice about me:

that I am a Man... or maybe they notice that feeling of nausea I provoke. I'm never sure what that look is...

I wouldn't say nausea. It creates a distinctly negative feeling.

Some additional information I want you to know:

Thanks for participating. It's fun to dream, when love is fleeting. I reality I enjoy having fun. I'm sure somewhere here on eharmony there is a tutorial that says I should take this profile seriously - who needs rules. I looking for the girl I want to marry and I want to have fun doing it! So hopefully if you've gotten this far I've at least put one smile on your face or you want to kick my [profanity deleted by moderator]!


My interests

I typically spend my leisure time:

Golfing, Creating, Being Outdoors. Ive been thinking alot about buying a kayak lately.


A lot. Two words. Watch spelling/grammer/punct.


The last book I read and enjoyed:

Phonebook, I found the number I was looking for!

According to my friends:

My friends describe me as:

Genuine
Easy-Going
Respectful
Intelligent

You sound like a potentially interesting guy. But all I really know is you are a creative director and like jokes. You need to connect to your audience.
 
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a_space is offline a_space Post #6  June 24,2011, 2:45pm
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Tough room First I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read through my dribble... I really really appreciate you taking the time to give me critical feedback. I've read through some of your other replies on various other threads, your advice is always sterling and the same is applicable here. Back to the lab I go!
 
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a_space is offline a_space Post #7  June 24,2011, 3:00pm
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What culture? Seriously, is there any more vague word?

My definition of 'culture' one's choice of how the want to receive and interpret the world in-turn then is the driver for one's experiences, then in turn determines the people that surround and create one's circles.
 
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a_space is offline a_space Post #8  June 24,2011, 3:20pm
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New Edits

The one thing I am most passionate about:

Graphic Design, Visual Communication, Art. I love the fear that the blank canvas presents and the drive that fuels that challenge. All the stages of refinement... happy then unhappy then happy again then... Beautiful.


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:

Genuineness & Strength of Self (I don't want to Joke about this answer)


In my own words
The most influential person in my life has been:

My Uncle H - he was an edgy freelance photographer that definitely carved his own path, he unknowingly shape my taste in culture, music, art, and lifestyle. I think it all started at a very young age (4-5ish) it at the moment he let me put on his headphones and raid his LP collection...


The three things which I am most thankful for:

health
mom
dad

Three of my best life-skills are:

Using humor to make friends laugh
Being a good friend and companion
Managing my finances

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

That I'm better than them at everything! (on second thought - it's probably better that they don't)


The things I can't live without are:

Memories.
Something to Look Forward To.
Sunglasses.
The Right Shoes.
and Some Sort of Athletic Activity.


The first thing people notice about me:

my XY chromosomes, and that I can stand on two feet. and I know how to use deodorant.
Some additional information I want you to know:

Thanks for participating. It's fun to dream, when love is fleeting. I reality I enjoy having fun. I'm sure somewhere here on eharmony there is a tutorial that says I should take this profile seriously - who needs rules. I looking for the girl I want to marry and I want to have fun doing it! So hopefully if you've gotten this far I've at least put one smile on your face or you want to kick my (censored)!
My interests

I typically spend my leisure time:

Golfing, Creating, Being Outdoors. Ive been thinking alot about buying a kayak lately.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

Phonebook, I found the number I was looking for!


According to my friends:
My friends describe me as:

Genuine
Easy-Going
Respectful
Intelligent
 
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Faraday is offline Faraday Post #9  June 24,2011, 4:09pm
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KikiAZ wrote :
A lot. Two words.
Have you ever seen this blog? Every time I see "Alot" I think of this now. Awesome.

Hyperbole and a Half: The Alot is Better Than You at Everything


On your profile a_space: I like the revisions...especially the one about your uncle and putting on headphones...I could envision it.
 
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a_space is offline a_space Post #10  June 24,2011, 5:10pm
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That is a good blog entry.

And just to clear my good name, it makes me cringe a lot as well, it was a typo that has most recently been corrected.
 
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