Are all women on Eharmony rude and mean?


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bluelonewolf86 is offline bluelonewolf86 Post #1  June 23,2011, 1:56pm
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Been using Eharmony for the first time for several weeks and so far been kinda frustrating.

I do get about 6-8 matches a day and only close the ones that are too far away, inactive for more than 2-3 weeks, or have stuff that are deal breakers.

I've initiated communication to as many as possible even flex matches but so far NONE of them respond at all. There are some that close me before communication so that's fine but the rest at least a dozen of them I've sent them questions and they don't respond. And half of them are listed as "Active Today" continuously and they do view my profile once or twice.

I've even nudged some and they do look at my profile but don't do anything else.

Is this normal? If they aren't interested why don't they just close me? I'm thinking that they're all or some are non-paying and I figured might as well wait for FCW since I've got nothing to lost but their profile is pretty extensive and tons of pictures and always active.
 
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myusernamehere is online now myusernamehere Post #2  June 23,2011, 2:09pm
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Women on all dating sites are rude. (Except for upstategirl)
Last edited by myusernamehere; June 23,2011 at 2:53pm.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #3  June 23,2011, 2:11pm
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Sometimes I think people feel like it would be "mean" to close a match who has initiated communication, so they leave it open even when they're not interested. I don't understand that reasoning, but I get the idea that's how it works for some.

Another possibility is that they're interested enough in you to keep you open, but are more focused on other matches, or other things in their life that have nothing to do with eH. They may get around to you eventually, or they may not. It's up to you if you want to close them or not.

And yes, many are non-paying. Some of those will eventually pay, many will not.

Unfortunately, yes, it sounds like this is all fairly normal with eH in recent months.
 
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upstategirl is offline upstategirl Post #4  June 23,2011, 2:13pm
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myusernamehere wrote :
Women on all dating sites are rude.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #5  June 23,2011, 2:25pm
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bluelonewolf86 wrote :
Been using Eharmony for the first time for several weeks and so far been kinda frustrating.

I do get about 6-8 matches a day and only close the ones that are too far away, inactive for more than 2-3 weeks, or have stuff that are deal breakers.

I've initiated communication to as many as possible even flex matches but so far NONE of them respond at all. There are some that close me before communication so that's fine but the rest at least a dozen of them I've sent them questions and they don't respond. And half of them are listed as "Active Today" continuously and they do view my profile once or twice.

I've even nudged some and they do look at my profile but don't do anything else.

Is this normal?
Yup...so you had better get used to it and don't take it to heart.

wrote :
If they aren't interested why don't they just close me?
wrote :
I'm thinking that they're all or some are non-paying and I figured might as well wait for FCW since I've got nothing to lost but their profile is pretty extensive and tons of pictures and always active.
Who cares? It doesn't matter..just keep saying that to yourself.
Concentrate only on those that matter, which is to say those that respond...always.
I look at this like walking down the street and saying hi to a hundred passersby...if one says "hello" back, zero in on her.
 
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Vanillasky is offline Vanillasky Post #6  June 23,2011, 2:35pm
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bluelonewolf86 wrote :
I've initiated communication to as many as possible even flex matches but so far NONE of them respond at all.

I've even nudged some and they do look at my profile but don't do anything else.
Do you have a full body photo posted? Is your profile completely filled out?

If your answer is yes to these two questions, then I would try amping up your profile to make it more original. Make sure it has things that speak to a woman's interests as well as your own.

You have nothing to lose, so try going right to open communication with some, send an ice-breaker if appropriate to others...mix things up a bit and someone will respond. It's generally difficult to see if you are making an online dating mistake that is easy to fix, until you have a few months of online "dating" under your belt.

Good luck!
 
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Harryoss is offline Harryoss Post #7  June 23,2011, 2:36pm
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bluelonewolf86 wrote :
Is this normal? If they aren't interested why don't they just close me?
What difference does it make?

Try this from now on: Instead of thinking of every match you get as "interested in me unless she closes me", think of every match you get as "not interested in me unless she responds"... And then stop caring about anything a match-not-interested-in-you does.
 
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Odira is offline Odira Post #8  June 23,2011, 2:46pm
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bluelonewolf86 wrote :
I've initiated communication to as many as possible even flex matches but so far NONE of them respond at all. There are some that close me before communication so that's fine but the rest at least a dozen of them I've sent them questions and they don't respond. And half of them are listed as "Active Today" continuously and they do view my profile once or twice.

I've even nudged some and they do look at my profile but don't do anything else.

Is this normal? If they aren't interested why don't they just close me? I'm thinking that they're all or some are non-paying and I figured might as well wait for FCW since I've got nothing to lost but their profile is pretty extensive and tons of pictures and always active.
Sadly, it is normal. I also think that some people are confused about the two-step process to close, and think that 'archiving' is the same as 'closing.'

myusernamehere wrote :
Women on all dating sites are rude.
That works both ways, bud.
 
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myusernamehere is online now myusernamehere Post #9  June 23,2011, 3:02pm
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Odira wrote :
That works both ways, bud.
I didn't suggest otherwise. I've just never contacted men on a dating site so I didn't feel it was appropriate to comment on that side of it.
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #10  June 23,2011, 3:03pm
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bluelonewolf86 wrote :
Are all women on Eharmony rude and mean? Ive initiated communication to as many as possible even flex matches but so far NONE of them respond at all.
LoneWolf, the way the world works is this--When you want a tow truck company, you call them. You don't have to call to all the other tow truck companies in the world and tell them your disinterest, even if they spent $500 on a Yellow Pages ad to sell you. The process isn't mean or rude. It's efficient and it saves time. Get used to it.

By the way, your view that "women are rude and mean" will definitely hold you back while dating even if you don't advertise it. Many people have good intuition for "bad vibes" like that one.
Last edited by shapeShifter79; June 23,2011 at 3:05pm.
 
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