Icebreaker from an Interesting Unsubscribed Match


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HistoryGrad79 is offline HistoryGrad79 Post #1  June 22,2011, 1:57pm
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Hi all,

A few days ago, I received an icebreaker from a cute guy from my city, around my age. His profile says that he is not a subscribed member, though, so in order to respond to him I would have to email/chat with him on google. I haven't received a huge number of contacts from my matches and I am kind of flattered (even though he may have sent icebreakers to many people...). This guy looks interesting, but it is kind of annoying that I would have to reveal my email in order to get in touch with him. What would you do in this situation? Thanks!
 
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Harryoss is offline Harryoss Post #2  June 22,2011, 2:04pm
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First things first, I assume that because you have mentioned contacting him on google, that he has sneaked in his personal email into his profile. You should know right here and now that this is a violation of the eHarmony terms of use by him.

With that said, if you're worried about security or whatever when using your personal email address, why not just create a new dummy email just for contacting him? Something you can choose to get rid of (or simply stop using) later? Email addresses are free you know
 
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HistoryGrad79 is offline HistoryGrad79 Post #3  June 22,2011, 2:20pm
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Interesting to know. The unwillingness to subscribe and sneaking in the outside email address is a red flag.

I'll have to think about it some more.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #4  June 22,2011, 2:26pm
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HistoryGrad79 wrote :
Interesting to know. The unwillingness to subscribe and sneaking in the outside email address is a red flag.

I'll have to think about it some more.
Are you speaking of EH? Or another dating site?...

Yes...if it's on EH...being a non paying member...it's against the rules to put their email address anywhere...So that alone turns me off because either he is deliberately dishonest...or he isn't capable of reading a simple Terms of Service agreement...LOL...
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #5  June 22,2011, 2:44pm
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Ingytravel wrote :
Yes...if it's on EH...being a non paying member...it's against the rules to put their email address anywhere...So that alone turns me off because either he is deliberately dishonest...or he isn't capable of reading a simple Terms of Service agreement...LOL...
As with separated matches, I would be totally flexible about this. Just create an extra e-mail address for online encounters. It comes in handy even when dealing with your normal matches.
 
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upstategirl is offline upstategirl Post #6  June 22,2011, 3:35pm
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Ingytravel wrote :
...So that alone turns me off because either he is deliberately dishonest...or he isn't capable of reading a simple Terms of Service agreement...LOL...
....yes what a wonderful frst impression......trying to use a paying dating site for free
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  June 22,2011, 3:56pm
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I find that enough people are dissatisfied with dating sites - or too many of the people on the sites - that being a free user for that reason doesn't bug me much.

If it's because they can't afford it, I'd be buggged.

Also, I would look at the activity level. If the person is constantly logged in, I would not write a free user (if they care that much, and have that much reason to be active, then they should pay.)

Go ahead and write if you like the match - nothing matters or counts except how much you like each other during a real meeting.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline eH_Advice_Host_Renee Post #8  June 23,2011, 7:00am

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Hi HistoryGrad79,

As Ingy says, providing contact information before reaching the eHarmony Mail stage is a violation of our Terms of Service, just as it is to use our site without being legally single.

Also, per those Terms, members agree to report any match that violates those Terms. So you should report this match at matchconcerns@eHarmony.com.

Aside from the fact that it is not fair to paying members that someone use our site for free, there are also safety issues to consider; so along with reporting this match, we advise that you also not contact them.

If you need assistance, you are welcome to PM me and provide your Singles address and the match's name, age, and location.

All the best,

Renee
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #9  June 23,2011, 7:50am
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HistoryGrad79 wrote :
What would you do in this situation? Thanks!
I contacted a few women who managed to sneak contact information into their profiles. Many here will tell you that you should report them and not contact them, because they're in violation of terms of service. Personally, my dating life is far more important to me than the profit margin of eHarmony, so I don't subscribe to that line of reasoning.

If a profile appeals to me, it's not going to be any less appealing just because the person chooses not to subscribe. If anything, I could relate to their frustration, especially with all the negative (IMO) changes eH was making toward the end of my tenure with them.

I agree with Harryoss that you should create an alternate email address if you're concerned about giving out your real one. I've noticed several women doing so while online dating, and never faulted them for it (as long as I got their "real" one once they got to know me). It seems like a smart thing to do, for safety reasons.
Last edited by nick222; June 23,2011 at 7:53am.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #10  June 23,2011, 9:13am
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HistoryGrad79 wrote :
Interesting to know. The unwillingness to subscribe and sneaking in the outside email address is a red flag.

I'll have to think about it some more.
I would report him - and in fact, I did report a match for blatantly having his loser@yahoo.com information spelled out on his profile. The rest of us pay good money to use this site and I cannot abide freeloaders who think that the rules only apply to "everyone else".
 
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