HE is offline HE Post #1  June 20,2011, 3:58pm
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So...

I've only been a member for a week. Saturday morning, I got communication request from a profile I really liked. I guess because it was Saturday we both had constant computer access, but by Saturday night we'd moved through all three stages of guided communication - I sent him my answers to the open ended questions and thought I'd probably get an email from him yesterday. But I got nothing yesterday or today. And that stupid "active" feature tells me he's been online today, so it's not just that he hasn't been able to get computer access.

SO in y'all's experience, does it take a man a while to work up to the first email? Or does the wait after the zipzipzip of GC mean he's actually not that interested (that there might have been something in my answers to his last questions that turned him off or that he got a much more interesting profile than mine yesterday.) (I know it's only been two days - I feel like that crazy girl from "He's Just Not that Into You" - I'm hoping with more practice at this Internet dating thing I'll learn to be all "it's cool, whatever.")

Anyway, any advice y'all can offer on the typical behavior of the EH male, or on how to be cool is greatly appreciated
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #2  June 20,2011, 5:04pm
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A) Calm down and exhibit some patience, and B) Make sure it is not your turn. If you have a little message about EH and a safety precaustion warning, and a blank reply box, the ball is in your court. If so, he can't write an email until you have written one to him.
 
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sr71blackbird is offline sr71blackbird Post #3  June 20,2011, 5:09pm
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HE wrote :
So...

I've only been a member for a week. Saturday morning, I got communication request from a profile I really liked. I guess because it was Saturday we both had constant computer access, but by Saturday night we'd moved through all three stages of guided communication - I sent him my answers to the open ended questions and thought I'd probably get an email from him yesterday. But I got nothing yesterday or today. And that stupid "active" feature tells me he's been online today, so it's not just that he hasn't been able to get computer access.

SO in y'all's experience, does it take a man a while to work up to the first email? Or does the wait after the zipzipzip of GC mean he's actually not that interested (that there might have been something in my answers to his last questions that turned him off or that he got a much more interesting profile than mine yesterday.) (I know it's only been two days - I feel like that crazy girl from "He's Just Not that Into You" - I'm hoping with more practice at this Internet dating thing I'll learn to be all "it's cool, whatever.")

Anyway, any advice y'all can offer on the typical behavior of the EH male, or on how to be cool is greatly appreciated
It a pretty common occurrence for the more downstream steps to take longer than the first ones, including the first email, since they take longer than the first two steps.

Based on my experience sending EH mail, I tried to get them sent out in a day or two depending on how busy I was. (I always continued to check my daily matches, so I (too) would show active. Granted I that was before the activity feature was there.) Keep in mind sending an email can take a bit of time while viewing other profiles takes but minutes.

People have differing opinions about how long is acceptable to wait for a single communication. A week seems to be the most common answer, but it can stretch longer if it a good match.

In the meantime, continue looking at other matches, and try to keep your feelings in check. (It can be hard. I'm waiting for a match I'm excited about to respond.) Try not to get excited about a match until you have actually met them. Good Luck!
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #4  June 21,2011, 2:44am
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he might have other options on the go so you're in a queue. he might be meeting someone this week and if it doesn't work out then he'll email you to ask to meet you.

or he might have lied on his profile about being single....

or he might have lied about something else so fears meeting people.

or he might be thinking about what to write in his first email. for me I sometimes needed a day or 2 to think about a good opening email if I wasn't in a rush.
 
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1104girl is offline 1104girl Post #5  June 21,2011, 4:34am
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IMO and in my experience they usually get into OC when they are really interested very soon. If they don't they won't usually, but there may be exceptions. It's happened to me often though. Not everyone does realize that those questions rely on whose TURN it is;especially if you are new to the process. When I first started that was not clear to me. Make sure it is not your turn, but if he initiated the rule is he's the one to open up the open comunication. Now with the closing process being pretty permanant you may want to give it a little more time, but OC is the real deal and is defnitely more initimate and personal, so some I think do get a reality check and the whole process becomes the real deal to them. Like i said it's happened to me often;others times they could not get there fast enough.
 
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3GIG is offline 3GIG Post #6  June 21,2011, 5:33am

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HE wrote :
So...

I've only been a member for a week. Saturday morning, I got communication request from a profile I really liked. I guess because it was Saturday we both had constant computer access, but by Saturday night we'd moved through all three stages of guided communication - I sent him my answers to the open ended questions and thought I'd probably get an email from him yesterday. But I got nothing yesterday or today. And that stupid "active" feature tells me he's been online today, so it's not just that he hasn't been able to get computer access.

SO in y'all's experience, does it take a man a while to work up to the first email? Or does the wait after the zipzipzip of GC mean he's actually not that interested (that there might have been something in my answers to his last questions that turned him off or that he got a much more interesting profile than mine yesterday.) (I know it's only been two days - I feel like that crazy girl from "He's Just Not that Into You" - I'm hoping with more practice at this Internet dating thing I'll learn to be all "it's cool, whatever.")

Anyway, any advice y'all can offer on the typical behavior of the EH male, or on how to be cool is greatly appreciated
I had the exact same experience this weekend. I just posted a new topic (was there a free communication weekend?) to see if people communicating with me just were trying eH and now are no longer able to communicate.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #7  June 21,2011, 6:14am
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HE wrote :
So...

I've only been a member for a week. Saturday morning, I got communication request from a profile I really liked. I guess because it was Saturday we both had constant computer access, but by Saturday night we'd moved through all three stages of guided communication - I sent him my answers to the open ended questions and thought I'd probably get an email from him yesterday. But I got nothing yesterday or today. And that stupid "active" feature tells me he's been online today, so it's not just that he hasn't been able to get computer access.

SO in y'all's experience, does it take a man a while to work up to the first email? Or does the wait after the zipzipzip of GC mean he's actually not that interested (that there might have been something in my answers to his last questions that turned him off or that he got a much more interesting profile than mine yesterday.) (I know it's only been two days - I feel like that crazy girl from "He's Just Not that Into You" - I'm hoping with more practice at this Internet dating thing I'll learn to be all "it's cool, whatever.")

Anyway, any advice y'all can offer on the typical behavior of the EH male, or on how to be cool is greatly appreciated
You first have to really understand the fact that some..or even most of your matches may already be dating others...
Most likely, too, the time frame they get back to you has to be juggled with or alongside the fact that, as guys we have to spend more than half our time pursuing...(only around 11% of women online ever initiate, so those are the facts we men must deal with)
IOW, we can't sit back and wait for women to come to us, because...they just won't.

If he likes you, and wants to pursue you, it will come in time, as long as you show interest because he can't afford to devote his time to a match that doesn't.
Last edited by TheThinker; June 21,2011 at 6:17am.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  June 21,2011, 9:53am
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Since you asked for a male perspective on this and I fit that description. If I am interested in a match then I am going to send the next communication right away. I am not going to have to take a couple of days to think up a good "line" to send.

My advice for communicating with any match. Send your communication when it is your turn, whether it is a Guided Communication or an Open Communication e-mail, then go to your next match and do the same.

If you have a match that takes a long time then it may be his loss as you will have found someone better while waiting on Mr. Slowpoke.
 
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