profile help 43F

Let me know what you think of this profile. I am getting nowhere after several times trying. Do I sound too busy?

The one thing I am most passionate about:
I am a generally passionate person with lots of diverse interests. I am passionate about doing something good for myself daily, surrounding myself with supportive, good friends, spending time with my kids...fantasy football... doing my best at work, getting a little crazy once in a while, getting a good workout a few times a week, maintaining stability for myself and the children..laughing a lot, keeping a good relationship with my family, learning new things, traveling to new places, keeping an open mind.. I guess you get the picture. Just out to enjoy my time on earth! I want no regr…

Pick one thing and expand on it - the thing that defines you to your friends. maybe your triathalons? This is just rambling.


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:
Someone with some substance who looks to experience new things with someone special. A companion to laugh and share special times with, and ultimately, a wonderful lover.
This is all well and good, but a bit boring and trite, doesn't tell me anything specific. I mean, who is looking for a person of no substance who hates to laugh and share 'special times'?
The most influential person in my life has been:

I would have to say My high school Chemistry teacher who imparted upon me a true love of science and the joy of things that "come together". He was also my anatomy teacher later on and filled me with the desire to learn more and do more in the scientific field which is why I am in medicine today. Funny thing is, I'm sure he has no idea he had such an influence on me.
This is fine, and actually interesting in that you bring it full circle. Lose the part in read, it weakens the paragraph.
The three things which I am most thankful for:

• my children
• my family
• my career

EVERYBODY uses these - if you are going to use them, use a specific detail or comment to tell us something that makes it unique to you.
Three of my best life-skills are:

• Communicating my innermost thoughts and feelings
• Raising and/or caring for children
• Maintaining a network of close friends

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

I have a very soft side, despite that fact that I come off as very independent. I would love for someone to take care of me once in a while and tell me what we are doing for the day. I get tired of always being in charge.

The sentences in red have a negative bent. Lose them. Sounds a little whiny.
The first thing people notice about me:

I was recently described as a "tootsie pop" by someone I had just met. Hard on the outside but soft on the inside.. I thought that was funny. I have been told that I am a bit intimidating, which I find to be really silly. I am a confident person and am proud of what I have accomplished, having come from very little. I don't think there is anything wrong with being proud of who you are. But, I am also a very humble person and do not like to sing my own accolades.
I would rework this - it reads arrogant and contradictory.

Some additional information I want you to know:

I am a down to earth person and I appreciate fellow "real" people..I love my children, have a succesful career and have a busy social and family life that has not a lot to be desired. I would really love someone to share it with.

I would change the sentence in red - it reads "I have a great life, don't need anyone, move along." Not a fan of the 'real' people comment, sounds derogatory to folks who aren't like you.
My interests

I typically spend my leisure time:

At the gym, traveling, working around the house, sailing, riding my bike, playing with my kids, going out with friends. Snuggling up next to the fire with a good movie. I train for triathlons in between all that, completed 9 so far. My goal is to do 3 olympic length triathlons this summer. I get a great deal of satisfaction in attaining my goals, especially in this way. Triathlons are the one thing I do for myself, since I am always doing things for other people. Kids, patients..etc...
This is kind of a rambling mess. This section should be used to describe activities that would make a match think "I would love to go do that with her!" Instead I think "When does she have time to sleep, much less date?"

The last book I read and enjoyed:

I read tons of books.. Just finished Cleopatra, now I'm reading the Game of Thrones series.. I'll read whatever... I am a member of a book club and enjoy those books and discussions.
Elementary school grammar - don't forget to indicate a book titile with quotation marks. Also mentioning the author is a nice touch.

According to my friends:

My friends describe me as:

• Dependable
• Genuine
• Energetic
• Intelligent