BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #21  June 28,2011, 6:54am
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Ballet_fan wrote :
Hi

I am new and only joined eh on Friday. I have about 5 people in guided communication and just made it to email with one of them.

I have to confess to being disappointed with the email. It basically said "Hi X, nice to meet you. How long have you lived in X?"

I'm unsure how to respond. It seems a little lazy to me - isn't this your opportunity to make an impression?

Now I don't know if I should respond with more detail, or write back with similar brevity. Also, his responses to the 3 questions were similarly brief.

Given that this match is quite some distance from me, the majority of communication would be through electronic means, so I see this unwillingness/inability to correspond with depth as a negative.

Thoughts?

Thanks

If you want to have success with online dating, then there are some things you may need to understand and accept about online dating.

First, understand that everyone will not meet and/or exceed your expectations especially on the first email, first meet/greet, first date and so forth. Next, there are people who are not fans of extensive, in depth email exchanges. Brevity isn't always a bad thing for some individuals believe that "less equals more" especially during the beginning stages of correspondance.

Now, I do understand where you are coming from and I would be concerned with the level of interest myself, however his short response doesn't necessarily mean he lacks interest. He may simply be unsure on how to respond to you. I had a few people start emails with, "so, tell me about yourself?" How do I respond to such a question? Like you, I want someone to put some thought into a question that way I know what direction to take plus I don't believe in divulging too much personal information right away.

My suggestion is to hold you horses on pressing the close button. Give this person some time to see if he will warm up to you and get more in depth with the questioning, bantering, and so on. If possible, try to get to the phone stage and see how he would react over the phone. He may not be good at expressing himself via email, but a great phone conversationalist. Lastly, if there is any way for the both of you to meet(given the distance), then make that your goal. Most people aren't on dating sites to gain penpals nor have the patience to write mini novels about themselves or bombard people with a plethora of questions.

Overall, answer his question and counter with a couple of questions that requires more in depth answers and see how he responds. Don't expect him to write paragraphs for each questions but make sure your answers are sufficiently answered. From there, decide if you would like to continue to become better acquainted or not. Good luck to you.

B.Y.
 
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GoldSpider is offline GoldSpider Post #22  June 30,2011, 11:15am
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Here's my approach to e-mails (and going by the number of responses I get, you may want to take it with a grain of salt!). This also applies more to other sites, as I am not currently an eH subscriber.

I start with a polite greeting, comment on a few things from their profile as a conversation starter, and invite them to take a look at my profile and get back to me if they'd like to continue the conversation.

I put the time into creating my profile for a reason; there should be enough there to let a prospective match decide if they would like to get to know me better. Considering most of the people I message don't even make that effort, writing more than a paragraph or two as a starter doesn't seem like a wise investment of my time.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #23  June 30,2011, 5:11pm
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GoldSpider wrote :
Here's my approach to e-mails (and going by the number of responses I get, you may want to take it with a grain of salt!). This also applies more to other sites, as I am not currently an eH subscriber.

I start with a polite greeting, comment on a few things from their profile as a conversation starter, and invite them to take a look at my profile and get back to me if they'd like to continue the conversation.

I put the time into creating my profile for a reason; there should be enough there to let a prospective match decide if they would like to get to know me better. Considering most of the people I message don't even make that effort, writing more than a paragraph or two as a starter doesn't seem like a wise investment of my time.
I think you seriously need to think about changing your approach. You are wasting an opportunity (and probably giving them a bad impression of yourself at the same time) by refusing to tell them anything about yourself (the first email is the first chance you have to talk to them in an open fashion).

No matter how good you think your profile is your open email to them will tell them more about you in just a couple sentences then your entire profile will. And you are wasting your opportunity to be able to do that.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #24  June 30,2011, 8:20pm
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Well, my eH guy with the two short sentences (4 - 5 words each) in his email and no questions asked back to me after a couple emails has been beaten by a guy on match who just wrote me:

Subject: Hello
Message: hello.

That's it. One word.

I could just "mirror his style" and reply "Hello" back, but really, where does that get us?

Guys, when you open communication on ANY dating site, please write a little more than that and ask your match a question or two. If you're wondering why no one responds to you, it could be because you give them nothing to respond to!

And yes, I agree with sony12 above. Include an interesting detail about yourself that's not in your profile in your message. You will seem infinitely more interesting to your match than all the terse emails she gets!
 
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KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #25  June 30,2011, 9:10pm
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GoldSpider wrote :
I start with a polite greeting, comment on a few things from their profile as a conversation starter, and invite them to take a look at my profile and get back to me if they'd like to continue the conversation.

Nothing seriously off about this per my view.
 
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