Asking Someone Out via Open Communication Email? Is it okay?


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upstategirl is offline upstategirl Post #21  June 16,2011, 4:49pm
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I agree with sony12 and MicMan about IM chat....I am not a fan of it either, and avoid it..........but I think we might be the exception because most people I know use it often.



sony12 wrote :
I avoid IM chat like the plague. For some reason it seems all the people who I care not to be around in real life always seem to do the IM chat thing (and then I can't even log onto my email without those nuts sending me tens of thousands of messages while I am trying to read over my emails).
This ^^^^^^ is funny
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #22  June 16,2011, 4:50pm
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MicMan wrote :
I'm not a big fan either. My experience has been the people that want to IM are the people that aren't interested in moving off the computer, or if they do, it is a glacial pace. It will be email for awhile, then it gets stepped up to IM and if I'm lucky, it might move to the phone...in a few months. That's why I try to avoid it.

I can see the benefits for something like a video chat for a long distance relationship, but my concerns would still be that it is being used to prolong meeting for a lengthy period of time.
That type of internet chatting used to be cool. I remember when I was in college in the late nineties and the early '00 decade and you would go down to the computer lab there on campus. Probably 75% of the kids wouldn't be doing there homework in there but instead talking over yahoo chat with people.

Now it just seems that most have moved on to more updated ways to communicate over the computer and all that is on IM messengers now are leftovers (who send you upteen thousands of messages even though you've only talked to them one time).
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #23  June 16,2011, 5:00pm
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This was using IM chat via the OK Cupid site. That way there's no issue with being bombarded by IM's when you are trying to check email.

I have chatted on OKC and on Match. It gives you a little more "immediate" interaction in the early stages of communication with your matches. Unlike the snail's pace of GC on EH which can drag on forever.
 
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sony12 is offline sony12 Post #24  June 16,2011, 5:11pm
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mitchell175 wrote :
This was using IM chat via the OK Cupid site. That way there's no issue with being bombarded by IM's when you are trying to check email.

I have chatted on OKC and on Match. It gives you a little more "immediate" interaction in the early stages of communication with your matches. Unlike the snail's pace of GC on EH which can drag on forever.
Well for me when dealing with interested matches they usually respond within a day or many times within even hours. I wouldn't consider that a snail's pace.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #25  June 17,2011, 6:51am
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CKN wrote :
So as the topic says, is it okay to ask a match out on a date via email in the open communication stage or is this frowned upon because it is not on a phone or in person.

Thanks
My method on eHarmony was to exchange 5 or 6 Open Communication e-mails and then suggest meeting in person (for dinner). I never requested to speak on the phone prior to meeting for two reasons. First I don't much care for talking on the phone. Second anytime a match insisted on talking on the phone before meeting the first date, if any, did not go well.

I did provide my cell phone number prior to the first date so that my match could get hold of me if there was a last minute problem. I expected my match to also give me her cell phone number at the same time. Some did not, which I take as a bad sign.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #26  June 17,2011, 6:54am
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mitchell175 wrote :
This was using IM chat via the OK Cupid site. That way there's no issue with being bombarded by IM's when you are trying to check email.

I have chatted on OKC and on Match. It gives you a little more "immediate" interaction in the early stages of communication with your matches. Unlike the snail's pace of GC on EH which can drag on forever.
sony12 wrote :
Well for me when dealing with interested matches they usually respond within a day or many times within even hours. I wouldn't consider that a snail's pace.
My experience also. Many times I have gone through the entire Guided Communication process in an hour or two.
 
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BBLAW is offline BBLAW Post #27  June 21,2011, 10:58am
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sony12 wrote :
That type of internet chatting used to be cool. I remember when I was in college in the late nineties and the early '00 decade and you would go down to the computer lab there on campus. Probably 75% of the kids wouldn't be doing there homework in there but instead talking over yahoo chat with people.

Now it just seems that most have moved on to more updated ways to communicate over the computer and all that is on IM messengers now are leftovers (who send you upteen thousands of messages even though you've only talked to them one time).
LOL--At the risk of dating myself I'll go you one better. In the Triassic, when I was in college, and PCs were just being invented, our computer labs were stocked with something that looked like old Radio Shack/Tandy TRS-80s, or the equivalent, and we had what was then referred to as the PARTI system for network chatting between computers in the various labs around campus. While the technology was different, the idea was certainly the same--guys and gals in all the buildings were avoiding their term papers and research while chatting up potential hotties for weekend dates.

Looking back, it's easy to laugh now about what geeks we were, but at the time, God, what fun we had! There was something positively exciting about real-time chat with someone who might well be in the same room with you! We always had to bring the freshman picture yearbook to scope out a potential prospect (our IDs were first initial, middle intial, first four letters of last name, so it was easy to match a user ID and photo, lol). As corny as it sounds, I met one of my best 4-year friends from college through that PARTI system, and we actually did end up going on a few dates through the years.
 
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