Is this thing on???

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dreisen80 Post #1 June 11,2011, 2:42pm

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Joined: Jun 2011

Posts: 3

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I'm so confused. I've used this service in the past and I liked it, but I'm having zero luck. I've reached out to numerous people and i get no response at all. It doesn't even register that they looked at my profile? I'm confused.
Maybe some help w/ my profile?

Occupation: Senior Consultant
Age: 30; Height: 5' 2"
Wants Kids: Maybe; Kids at Home: Yes
Ethnicity; White, non-Hispanic; Religion: Christian
Drinks: About once a week; Smokes: Never

The one thing I am most passionate about:
Other than simply trying to be a good mom, I have a big interest in general wellness. Whether it is eating well, running, stress reduction, etc, I like to learn about that. I certainly have things I need to improve with it myself, but I am very interested in it.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:
Trust, openness, and the ability to laugh. Without those things, I think a relationship wouldn't work. Above that, I would say someone who has similar interests, yet can teach me new things and balance out my own style...and nice teeth!

That was a lot more than one, wasn't it?

The most influential person in my life has been:
My son. In 3 years, he has taught me about how to be a better person and how to enjoy the small things in life. Other than that, I would say it hasn't been 1 person, but rather different people here and there that have guided me at different turns in my life.

The three things which I am most thankful for:
My son. He has taught me more than anyone without even knowing it
My family. They have been there for me during tough times and support me unconditionally.
My education & job. Although I mostly have my parents to blame for instilling a sense of accountability in me, I am so thankful for all that I've been able to do.
Three of my best life-skills are:

Raising and/or caring for children
Achieving personal goals
Cooking for my family and friends
The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

When I first meet people I can be a bit quiet, but I find that I open up really easily once I get talking to someone. Unlike my mother who finds a new best friend every time she goes to the grocery store, I am more of an observer (plus I talk all day for work...I get tired of it!)

A few minutes into a conversation people usually find that I'm very easy to talk to and i get along with about everyone.

The things I can't live without are:

My son & my family
Music - in my car, on my ipod...
wine
coffee &/or iced tea
running - but I wish I could do it more often

The first thing people notice about me:
I laugh easily and I'm easy to get along with

Some additional information I want you to know:
As of June 30, I am no longer a member. Feel free to contact me if you are interested, but do it fast!!!

My interests
I typically spend my leisure time:

When I do not have my son, I often like to take some time to run. I also enjoy cooking and baking.
The last book I read and enjoyed:

A book? What's that?...oh right... those things I read for work, right? Yeah, that's about all I get done anymore in the area of reading. I've read some leadership books, but that's not all that interesting.

According to my friends:
My friends describe me as:
Funny, Good Listener, Caring, Sweet

king1228 Post #2 June 12,2011, 10:26pm

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Joined: Jun 2011

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I'm only one dude in CO, but I rather like your profile. Just throwing it out there.

Dropdeadredtx Post #3 June 13,2011, 8:02am

Still listening for the jingle of dog tags that isn't there...

Board Leader - Books

Joined: Apr 2010

Houston

Posts: 14,637

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If your matches are not even viewing your profile a rewrite won't really help, but I'll tell you right off the bat the 5 or 6 mentions of your son and being a mom would be an insta-close.
How is your profile picture? Sorry to say this but if it is not a great picture, that will keep matches from actually viewing the profile.
I am going to grab a cup of coffee and do a full critique in a bit.

dreisen80 Post #4 June 14,2011, 3:05pm

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Joined: Jun 2011

Posts: 3

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Dropdeadredtx wrote :

Wow - brutal honesty about my son. I guess you are probably right though. That may be a bit of overkill and perhaps I should lay off that. thanks!

and I think my main pic is good. I posted the same pic on facebook and got some very flattering comments.

Why are my matches not viewing them? Does that function not work? Just to test it, I just communicated w/ 5 or so more people and 1 looked viewed me. Could there be that many non-subscribers??? I'd be happier if people just closed me...

Dropdeadredtx Post #5 June 14,2011, 3:13pm

Still listening for the jingle of dog tags that isn't there...

Board Leader - Books

Joined: Apr 2010

Houston

Posts: 14,637

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dreisen80 wrote :

I am a never-married mom of the greatest daughter in the world and she is the thing in this world that makes me the most proud and gives me joy constantly - but I mention her once. Men want a woman who is available and eager to date them, not an awesome mom with a few nights to squeeze them in. They want to be your priority, and mentioning your child in every single section is going to give the opposite impression. Brutal, maybe, but true.

There are a lot of non-subscribers, true, but not as many as some would have you believe. Do you see the 'active today' or 'active yesterday' indicators when you view their profiles?

KikiAZ Post #6 June 14,2011, 6:58pm

posting from the 6th largest city in America

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dreisen80 wrote :

Kids at Home: Yes
Ethnicity; White, non-Hispanic; Religion: Christian
Drinks: About once a week; Smokes: Never

The one thing I am most passionate about:
Other than simply trying to be a good mom, I have a big interest in general wellness. Whether it is eating well, running, stress reduction, etc, I like to learn about that. I certainly have things I need to improve with it myself, but I am very interested in it.

Stick with the running/general fitness. That is likely to be attractive. As Red said, this is a dating site, men aren't looking for a mom.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:
Trust, openness, and the ability to laugh. Without those things, I think a relationship wouldn't work. Above that, I would say someone who has similar interests, yet can teach me new things and balance out my own style...and nice teeth!

That was a lot more than one, wasn't it?

This is ok.

The most influential person in my life has been:
My son. In 3 years, he has taught me about how to be a better person and how to enjoy the small things in life. Other than that, I would say it hasn't been 1 person, but rather different people here and there that have guided me at different turns in my life.

This answer is a fail. You should mention your son once. Ideally, with an idea of his age so that the reader can tell if you guys are in similar stages (ie soccer/prom/wiggles). Use someone else. Use this as a vehicle to tell about your career or a meaningful person in your life.

The three things which I am most thankful for:
My son. He has taught me more than anyone without even knowing it
My family. They have been there for me during tough times and support me unconditionally. This reads like you have had a lot of bad times recently/baggage. We all have it

but it isn't attractive. It also sounds like your parents perhaps financially supported you.

My education & job. Although I mostly have my parents to blame for instilling a sense of accountability in me, I am so thankful for all that I've been able to do.
Three of my best life-skills are:

Raising and/or caring for children
Achieving personal goals
Cooking for my family and friends
The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

[Delete: When I first meet people I can be a bit quiet, but I find that I open up really easily once I get talking to someone. Unlike my mother who finds a new best friend every time she goes to the grocery store, I am more of an observer (plus I talk all day for work...I get tired of it!)

A few minutes into a conversation people usually find that] I'm very easy to talk to and i get along with about everyone.

Watch grammar/punctuation/caps.

The things I can't live without are:

My son & my family
Music - in my car, on my ipod...
wine
coffee &/or iced tea
running - but I wish I could do it more often

Add some specifics...what type of music, what type of wine, what type of running??? Are you Lady Gaga, Zin and trial runs or U2, whites, and the high school track or are you Garth, deep reds and the park???? Every specific details provides a potential hook for someone to say ME TOO!

The first thing people notice about me:
I laugh easily and I'm easy to get along with. You already said this. It's fine but change the other. Each time you repeat an answer you are wasting space to make yourself unique.

Some additional information I want you to know:
As of June 30, I am no longer a member. Feel free to contact me if you are interested, but do it fast!!!

My interests
I typically spend my leisure time:

When I do not have my son, I often like to take some time to run. I also enjoy cooking BBQ and baking Chocolate chip cookies.

Add specifics. Also, I liked it when my matches gave me an idea of what their visitation was....one week on/off...
something to consider.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

A book? What's that?...oh right... those things I read for work, right? Yeah, that's about all I get done anymore in the area of reading. I've read some leadership books, but that's not all that interesting.

According to my friends:
My friends describe me as:
Funny, Good Listener, Caring, Sweet

It's hard for those of us who are involved moms (I am too) to differentiate from our kids. This is about you and a man. Best....K

Last edited by KikiAZ; June 14,2011 at 7:35pm.

jov27 Post #7 June 15,2011, 3:57am

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Joined: Jan 2010

Posts: 364

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I'd also consider 'toggling' the 'wants children' between maybe and yes. Although it seems that a maybe ought to be matched to all answers, I read in the past that in general one is only matched to other maybes. At 30 years old, lots of men want kids, and this may affect you. I've noticed myself that when I toggle, I get very different groups of men, and more matches. Do it one way one day the other way the other, overnight to get the system matching. Especially when you are so focused on your son in your profile, maybe seems counterproductive given that you're most likely to attract men who like kids: I love my kid but don't know if I want yours.

1104girl Post #8 June 15,2011, 6:33am

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Joined: Apr 2011

Posts: 170

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dreisen80 wrote :

This site fluctuates and is not predictable at all. I can relate to your plight. This time of year things can get slow though I have found. In February/holiday season I was getting tons of communucation. Not now and this has happened in the past. Anyway do not worry about your son. I have found a lot of men on this site actually like that you are a mother. And yes I have to admit I too am getting many non subsribers....not a good sign...getting a lot more it seems than in the past. Subscription rate here may be falling. A lot of people are not happy with changes made on the site if they started out here years ago.

Last edited by 1104girl; June 15,2011 at 6:35am.

tangochef Post #9 June 15,2011, 6:56am

enjoying NYC.

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Joined: May 2011

Southern CA

Posts: 2,361

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1104girl wrote :

... Anyway do not worry about your son. I have found a lot of men on this site actually like that you are a mother...

That is all nice and good, however unless she is selling herself as a mom in training for a widowed guy with little children her profile reads as a woman whose life is solely revolving about her son, with so little free time that she does not even have time to read a book.

It is a given that if a mother has a kid, he/she is important. But, that fact should not dominate the profile.

One comment about this:
" I have a big interest in general wellness. Whether it is eating well, running, stress reduction, etc, I like to learn about that. I certainly have things I need to improve with it myself, but I am very interested in it."

The above reads as if you have an interest, and would like to learn about a healthy lifestyle, but do not participate yet. Makes me wonder how someone can be most passionate about something they do not do?

Badgerboy Post #10 June 17,2011, 6:26am

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Joined: Sep 2010

Sterling, VA

Posts: 9

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dreisen80 wrote :

The problem with the internet medium is that it is primarily text. Nothing wrong with loving your son. Might want to make sure that you communicate to any potential partners, that there will be plenty of room in your heart and in your day for them too.

Before EH, I belonged to a singles club (ugh, all emotional cripples, but that's a different story). The best turn off I saw for either gender was someone going on and on about their children. And routinely I saw relationships fail because a parent always prioritized his or her kid/s ahead of the relationship. Get burned that way a couple of times IRL, and you interpret that in a profile and go straight to close/archive.

Not trying to be insulting, just saying its about the *how* not the what. I got some intense feedback about my own profile, so its not like I haven't gone back and tweaked mine a couple of times.

« Profile critique please, 45 yo female newbie | Using eHarmony | Remeber you could list why you closed a match »

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