GOLLY GEE! Another *PERSONAL* question!


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Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #1  June 7,2011, 3:53pm
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Contemplation must bring forth right action to permit further growth.

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I am thrilled that I have the aplomb to handle delicate questions with panache and class. Because, I just got sent this one:

Tell me about your family. Describe your relationship with your mother, father and sibling(s). What is your favorite/least favorite quality about each of them?

OH my! I so need to resist the urge to just, uh, let it all out, maybe like this.

"That's a tough one! Should I tell you the truth and note how I'm closer to my deceased wife's family, therefore making you think I'm still not over her? Or, should I tell you the other truth, that I'm really not close at all to my biological family because of a past full of... uh... bad interestingness?"

*facepalm*

I am going to fix this one right up in a jiffy, and I'll post it here when I do.
 
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Angelkrista is offline Angelkrista Post #2  June 7,2011, 4:17pm
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Shouldn't I have all of this...and passionate kisses?

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Why on earth would you that?! I LOVE it!
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #3  June 7,2011, 4:22pm
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would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

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I love your humor about the whole thing, especially since it is a particularly invasive question. I'm not sure what I'd do in that situation, but I think I'd feel like I was being psychoanalyzed!
 
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Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #4  June 7,2011, 4:25pm
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OK, this is what I have:

Username, I'll be honest - this isn't something I feel comfortable discussing at this point in the process. I do, however, respect your desire to know about this aspect of my life; so in lieu of answering the question I'll share a bit about my nephews. I have two sisters (actually my late wife's) who have two boys each. The younger of the two come in a just under a year, and six years - and they bring out the kid in me. The older two are 9 and 14, and I'm happy to provide a strong male role model in their lives, because they need one. I feel closest to the oldest because he's a lot like I was when I was his age. I realize the influence I can have on his life. I take that responsibility very seriously as I kid around with him and his brother while we work on cars and do other entertaining things.

I rather like this. If she doesn't, she'll close me out!
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #5  June 7,2011, 4:37pm
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Is the later one serious or not....

I think the type od question she is asking is to learn a bit about your family and its structure and if you are close to them or not.
 
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Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #6  June 7,2011, 4:51pm
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ami1uwant wrote :
Is the later one serious or not.... I think the type od question she is asking is to learn a bit about your family and its structure and if you are close to them or not.
Right, that's what I thought. And it's none of her business - but I gave her something just as valuable. Either she'll accept my alternate answer and we'll continue talking, or she won't like it and she'll close me out.

That last one was serious - in fact, I just sent it.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #7  June 7,2011, 5:09pm
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Sparkles56 wrote :
I rather like this. If she doesn't, she'll close me out!

And that's nothing to concern yourself over.

Answer honestly, and let people do what they will.
 
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Xable is offline Xable Post #8  June 7,2011, 5:13pm
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gives up.

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Some people place a high value on family and want someone who also places a high value on family. I don't understand why people are so reluctant to answer questions about your relationship with your family. The best/least quality about them was strange but the first part not so much.

But then, people's reluctance to answer questions about their family is usually all the answer I need.
 
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Milliwog is offline Milliwog Post #9  June 7,2011, 5:26pm
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If I were asked that question it wouldn't bother me at all. And I would see absolutely nothing wrong with you stating that you were closer to your late wife's family than to your own. My late husband was much more accepted and loved by my family than his own except for one sister who was wonderful. We live in a culture made up of dysfunctional families- knowing how someone has responded to their upbringing is important information when considering a relationship. I have asked the same kind of question because of genuine interest in how someone has been raised and how it has affected his life.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #10  June 7,2011, 5:28pm
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Xable wrote :
I don't understand why people are so reluctant to answer questions about your relationship with your family.

- Because it is none of a stranger's business, and until someone shows up for a meeting and proves they are worth something I'm not sharing personal information which is none of a stranger's business!

- Unless and until they are interested in me as an individual, I'm not going to give out pointless, extraneous detail about other people. What makes a person unique are the things that person accomplished, and the choices they make today - that's what I ask about.

- Attributes of family are not under the control of the match, and therefore are not appropriate questions to ask of a stranger. People have all manner of difficult family problems (a parent who cheated, was abusive, abandoned the family, is incarcerated, etc), and I would never be so declasse as to pry into this to a stranger on the internet.

- I respect others' privacy. Until the match is sitting down to dinner with my family, and demonstrating a willingness to answer any question she is asking, I would never betray a person's privacy by blabbing it to a nobody online.

***

Once in an exclusive relationship, these are reasonable points of curiosity.

Until then, it's baggage, small-mindedness, and invasiveness to ask.
 
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