The "I'm pursuing another relationship" line


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LawyerDan is offline LawyerDan Post #21  June 25,2008, 6:46pm
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I just got the "I am taking a break from dating" close. hmm still on EH and still receiving matches. Yeah right.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #22  June 25,2008, 6:50pm
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The girls use this reason to close me out also.


My favorite close was the girl that closed me out immediately with the reason that we were communicating outside eHarmony. Unfortunately no one told me [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-frown.gif[/img].
 
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BSchorr is offline BSchorr Post #23  June 25,2008, 7:01pm
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VAmarcy,151265 wrote :

MJD,151052 wrote :


Well, what do you suggest when you (think) you are in a commited relationship, bu then find out your significant other has joined eHarmony? And has neglected to tell you that he is pursuing ANY other relationship?


If your SO has joined EH, only one of you is committed, sadly...and the other one is looking, while stringing you along in the hopes of finding someone new
Exactly right.


-B-
 
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BSchorr is offline BSchorr Post #24  June 25,2008, 7:05pm
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corky44,151683 wrote :

Like many others here, I do not pursue more than one relationship at a time. If I meet someone that interests me, I turn matching off and then close out matches that I've started communication with and I use the "I'm pursuing another match" because that is the truth.


As far as closing out new matches with the "I'm pursuing another relationship." It has happened that someone starts communicating with me or I receive a match just as another match takes off. That's just the way it is. If i receive a match on the day that I decide that another relationship is taking off (and I turn my matches off), it's not playing games to close them out. It's being fair.


Lastly, how do you know the person hasn't shut off their matches and your profile wasn't received just as they were shutting off matching. Incidentally, I shut off matching several weeks ago and sometimes still receive matches so it may be a glitch in E-Harmony.
I agree with Corky. I will use "am pursuing another relationship" if I've decided to focus my attentions on one particular prospect but have already received matches from others. In this case my prospect and I are not exclusive yet, but I'm not really open to moving thru GC with this match.


I have to admit there is an element of "I'm not really interested in you" to it. If it were a match that I thought was really interesting I'd probably leave it open (but with no communication) until I figured out if the person I was pursuing was going to develop into a relationship or not.


-B-
 
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teena is offline teena Post #25  June 25,2008, 11:28pm
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Ok, the line is...I am PRUSUING another relationship(match). When I use this, it meens I am currently in communicating with someone else(that I have not met yet) whom I am intersted in. So it would be silly to turn off my matches, when I dont even know if I am going to meet this peron. Some times I am in communicaton with more than one match, that can get kind of crazy if you take on too many at a time. I am sure that most guys use this line for the same reason as I do.
 
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SoCalBeachGirl is offline SoCalBeachGirl Post #26  June 26,2008, 11:03am
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guilty! i use this option a lot when trying to communicatethat i am looking (i.e. pursuing) a person with interests closer to my own. for example, if someone says they are into "gaming" and they spend their leisure time watching tv, i know this isn't the guy for me. in this case i feel that i am pursuing another relationship - just not with someone specific...yet. =/
 
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michaell1999 is offline michaell1999 Post #27  June 26,2008, 11:10am
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I just got a "pursuing another relationship" close. Kind of dumb considering the match was made this morning andthey viewed me first. So it's "pursuing another relationship" but I like to login to my account early in the morning and still view new matches. Frak, she would have been a keeper.
 
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deed8er is offline deed8er Post #28  June 26,2008, 12:12pm
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Yeah, I don't really get this one "I'm pursuing another relationship" why not temporarily remove yourself from the match process (since I'm sure they allow you to do it). It does seemkind of like a cocktail party when your talking to oneperson but you keep looking over their should for someone elseto show up. It's rude, to the person you're talking with, even if it is just a casual conversation.


By the way I wonder why Eharm doesn't just give you the option of putting "Not my type."I wouldn't be offended by that and I have seen guys that I thought my friend would be attracted tp but he's just not my type.
 
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JFo is offline JFo Post #29  June 28,2008, 12:00pm
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I’d like to share a story with everyone concerning my own experience on eHarmony. I hope that this gives everyone some perspective on the use of the line, “I’m pursuing another relationship,” or any of the other lines people use when closing a match.

I met my girlfriend, Katie, on eHarmony a little over a year ago. In fact, she was one of the first four matches I received when I signed up for the service. Like other successful couples (and yes, we do exist!), our relationship started out humbly enough. We ventured through the four stages of Guided Communication and eventually started a nice conversation when we reached Open Communication status. After a few weeks, we exchanged numbers, spoke to each other on the phone for the first time, and finally met face to face.

Now it should go without saying that during our online communications, I continued to receive and communicate with other matches through eHarmony. Like many of you, I quickly noticed that matches come and go at a sometimes alarming rate. Some may communicate with you for a while and then either close you out suddenly or disappear altogether. Because of this, I decided to not put too much stock in my matches since any of them, including Katie, could wind up being just another dead end.

What may shock some of you is that even during the course of our first few dates, I continued to receive and communicate with my matches. Some of them were even in Open Communication status. Why would I do this? Did I not really care about Katie at all? Was I just leading these other women on? Of course not. I simply didn’t know what the future held for us at that point. The possibilities on those first couple dates are so wide open, it’s impossible to know what might happen. Maybe we’d meet and discover an overwhelming lack of chemistry between us. Maybe I’d learn something about her that would be a deal breaker and vice versa. Because of this, I wasn’t going to limit my options elsewhere in the online dating pool. Besides, it’s not like we had promised anything to each other at that point. We had not agreed to date each other exclusively yet, so why would either one of us expect the other person to be “faithful?”

Around the time of our third date, I realized that this relationship might actually go somewhere. The more time I spent with Katie, the fonder I grew of her, and I could tell she also enjoyed being with me, (which was a nice bonus of course). At that point, I decided to stop receiving matches and close out the ones I already had. Since I was in pursuit of another relationship, I told my matches, “I’m pursuing another relationship.”

However, I did consider what I should do about the matches I had in Open Communication status. Should I send them a closing letter, explaining what happened and apologizing for the sudden end of our communication? Would they be mad at me if I didn’t? Would they even believe me when I said I was pursuing another relationship? Ultimately, I decided not to do anything beyond closing the match and saying, “I’m pursuing another relationship.” Some of you may thing it was rude to go about it in this manner, but I disagree. Again, I didn’t believe I owed these women an explanation beyond that. It’s not like I was deeply involved with any of them. The full extent of our interactions existed through some e-mails exchanged on a dating website. If I had gone on a few dates with them, I agree that I would owe them more of an explanation, but that’s not the case. Maybe some of them did get mad at me. Maybe they didn’t believe me. If so, I can’t do much about it, not even with a detailed letter explaining myself. I know I was being honest with them, and that’s what counts.

My point is that you can never know for certain whether or not someone is being honest with you when he or she closes communication. So don’t worry about! Don’t assume the worst. For all you know, that person could have been completely honest with you all along.
 
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CICity is offline CICity Post #30  June 28,2008, 5:58pm

I'm so glad we had this time together. Say, " Good night. "

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" I'm pursuing another relationship"- this is bull----. along with " I'm washing my hair" Remember, E thought of that as an answer. What makes you think the person who chose it was thinking at all??[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-frown.gif[/img]
 
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