Remeber you could list why you closed a match


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Joadams is offline Joadams Post #1  June 4,2011, 7:04pm
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I wish they could bring that back. I was on EH for a while than got off and when I came back this things was gone. I want to know why people turned me down . Now most times I don't even noticed when I am closed out .
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  June 5,2011, 4:18am
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Joadams wrote :
I want to know why people turned me down .
Most of the time people just played pin the tail on the close reason, with a large majority selecting "other". So they really weren't helping anybody. Infact part of the reason eH removed them, was some people found them rude.

In the end they all meant the same thing.We're not a good match / Not interested.

There were one or two that were somewhat helpful, but since the request to reopen is gone, they too were useless..

  • I think our family backgrounds are too different.
  • I have too much happening in my life at the moment.
  • I don't feel that the chemistry is there.
  • I don't think our Must Haves and Can't Stands fit.
  • I think the physical distance between us is too great.
  • I want to pursue other matches at eharmony.
  • I am pursuing another relationship.
  • I'm just not ready for the next step.
  • I am taking a break from dating.
  • I would rather not say.
  • This match never responded to my request to communicate.
  • I think the difference in age between us is too great.
  • I think the difference in our values is too great.
  • Based on statements in their profile, I'm not interested in this match.
  • Because there are no photos posted/I couldn't see any photos.
  • Because I was put on Hold.
  • Because we are communicating outside of eHarmony
  • Other
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  June 5,2011, 8:35am
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I liked this feature too. But we seem to be among the few that did.
 
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BuzWeaver is offline BuzWeaver Post #4  June 5,2011, 9:41am
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This was one of those areas where the ideology was good, but the implementation and practicality was not.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #5  June 5,2011, 9:56am
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Yes, I do remember. I liked it! Most people did not. I practically had my head ripped off on this forum for once saying that I'd like to have it back, so brace yourself.

I also liked how, after seeing the reason for closing, you could request to re-open the match. I had a couple of good dating experiences where one or the other of us had requested the match be reopened, and the other accepted, after seeing that the reason for closing was a misunderstanding.

Those were "extra steps" in the closing process, but for me they were useful extra steps, unlike the stupid "archive" step before closing, which takes time and provides no benefit.
Last edited by nick222; June 5,2011 at 10:00am.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #6  June 5,2011, 10:03am
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With the advent of "archive", the closure reasons seems pointless, because most people don't bother to "close" anymore, they just "archive".

I wonder if EH really thinks that people use "archive" to "prioritize matches for later"? That's how they play up the archive feature. Who really goes through their archive folder to communicate with matches at a later date? Maybe sometimes, if they update with photos/a more complete profile, but most of the time - not so much.
 
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Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #7  June 5,2011, 10:41am
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BuzWeaver wrote :
This was one of those areas where the ideology was good, but the implementation and practicality was not.
Off and on, I've seen discussions in these forums about this feature. I joined eH after the feature went away. For those who like this feature or want it back, I would like to know: What bit of actionable knowledge would you get out of knowing why you were closed?

It looks like the reasons either center around things you cannot change (i.e. physical distance, the other person is pursuing another relationship, etc) or things you should not change (Must Have / Can't Stand disagreement, "no chemistry", etc.).

Personally, I don't want to know why someone closed me, because then I would try to overthink things, and that is not productive. If she closes me for a stupid (immature) reason then it's her loss, and she probably isn't someone I would have wanted to become involved with anyway.

Remember, the reason that one person closes you out might be the exact same reason that another person is wildly attracted to you. I've seen that first-hand!
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #8  June 5,2011, 10:49am
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Sparkles56 wrote :
Off and on, I've seen discussions in these forums about this feature. I joined eH after the feature went away. For those who like this feature or want it back, I would like to know: What bit of actionable knowledge would you get out of knowing why you were closed?

It looks like the reasons either center around things you cannot change (i.e. physical distance, the other person is pursuing another relationship, etc) or things you should not change (Must Have / Can't Stand disagreement, "no chemistry", etc.).
My experience was that a few times they would be mistaken about the distance (i.e. I lived closer to them than they realized), or some aspect of the incompatibility perceived by one person was no longer an issue once the other person had a chance to explain. (One person would request the match be reopened and the other would accept.) Granted, this was a very low-frequency occurrence, and most people just listed "other" for their reason and/or didn't agree to reopen, but the couple of times that it lead to decent dating experiences made the feature well worth it for me.

The other way it was useful was that by knowing why certain types of people were closing me I was able to tweak my profile accordingly, and reduce the number of times I was closed by those people. This was especially helpful in my earliest days as a member, when I was still learning how people responded to things.

Apparently not many others shared my positive experiences with the feature, however.
Last edited by nick222; June 5,2011 at 10:52am.
 
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BuzWeaver is offline BuzWeaver Post #9  June 5,2011, 3:53pm
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Sparkles56 wrote :
Off and on, I've seen discussions in these forums about this feature. I joined eH after the feature went away. For those who like this feature or want it back, I would like to know: What bit of actionable knowledge would you get out of knowing why you were closed?

It looks like the reasons either center around things you cannot change (i.e. physical distance, the other person is pursuing another relationship, etc) or things you should not change (Must Have / Can't Stand disagreement, "no chemistry", etc.).

Personally, I don't want to know why someone closed me, because then I would try to overthink things, and that is not productive. If she closes me for a stupid (immature) reason then it's her loss, and she probably isn't someone I would have wanted to become involved with anyway.

Remember, the reason that one person closes you out might be the exact same reason that another person is wildly attracted to you. I've seen that first-hand!
The most times that I was closed and a reason given was Distance. There were maybe a couple about Family Backgrounds and maybe a couple more on Based On What This Person Says In Their Profile.

As far as accidental closings or closing you may have questions about, you can always contact EH's CS and they can send an email to that individual (considering the circumstances). Most of the time when I closed a match I just selected Other. It seemed like the most neutral of the options.
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #10  June 5,2011, 5:08pm
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For the most part, I rarely found the information useful. Usually when I was closed, I got other which said absolutely nothing useful for me to turn around and use.

Even the ones like "based on statements..." were not terribly useful because you have no idea what statements they were talking about.

eHarmony could have had a very good system with these. When you had the chance to request to reopen, you could have paired some of those up with the close reasons. In fact, one of the request to reopen reasons was something along the lines of "I've now completed my profile," but there was no "because your profile is incomplete."

I remember a long discussion about suggestions to improve the close reasons shortly before they disappeared. One of the popular suggestions was something along the lines of "I don't think we're a good match, but good luck with your search." I would have no objections to something like that since basically that's why you're being closed and it has a positive spin to it.
 
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