Do people ever respond to the 5 Questions?


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Gigi76 is offline Gigi76 Post #1  May 16,2011, 12:17pm
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I have been on eharmony for a couple of months now and have sent the initial step of 5 questions to a bunch of my matches, but not a single one has responded. A few have ended up in my archives, usually after they viewed my profile and I am assuming they closed the match, which I completely prefer to just ignoring the questions. A few have viewed my profile after I sent the questions, but done nothing. Are the questions not the way to go? Do guys prefer it if you go right to open communication? Or do guys not like it when the woman asks questions first?
Last edited by Gigi76; May 16,2011 at 12:58pm.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  May 16,2011, 12:38pm
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To answer your thread title...yes people do respond.


The GC (guided communication) process is the way to go. I applaud you for taking the intiative to send your questions out to your matches.


It could be a combination of reasons for lack of responses.


First-off: eH matches you with non-paying members who can only communicate during FCE ( free communication events)


Secondly.. I would suggest submitting your profile for review. Your profile could have pet-peeves, red flags or is so cliche' that is actually is turning away these matches..

PROFILE REVIEW INSTRUCTIONS AND GUIDELINES - updated 12/1/10

Third: Photos.. Make sure you have atleast one full body shot. Sorry to say but men are visual creatures. So e-dating going to be similar to high school.. And just as an FYI, the men experience it as well- with the women wanting tall, dark and handsome..

All you can do is have a positive attitude, put in some wrench time to creating the best profile you can and let the chips fall where they may..


Good luck, welcome to the boards and the wonderful world of eHarmony...
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #3  May 16,2011, 12:40pm
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The people you sent questions to are dead profiles of nonpaying members who only show up on the free weekends. About 75% of the profiles in the system are dead profiles.

A way to see who is alive is by looking at who updated their profile and who viewed your profile for those who may have a pulse.


If you seem to have alot of people view you but no communication then there is something wrong with your profile or pictures and you should post it here for some advice.
 
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Odira is offline Odira Post #4  May 16,2011, 12:43pm
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Gigi76 wrote :
I have been on eharmony for a couple of months now and have sent the initial step of 5 questions to a bunch of my matches, but not a single one has responded. A few have ended up in my archives, usually after they viewed my profile and I am assuming they closed the match, which I completely prefer to just ignoring the questions. A few have viewed my profile after I sent the questions, but done nothing. Are the questions not the way to go? Do guys prefer it if you go right to open communication? Or do guys not like it when the woman asks questions first? I have to say I am getting thoroughly disheartened that this website is no different than being in high school and no one actually cares about what a person is like and only wants a woman who is built like a super model.
Don't feel like the Lone Ranger. Many of us have experienced the same thing. Remember that a certain %age of your matches are non-paying and therefore can't respond. I think GC is the way to go (some others might differ). I doubt it's the questions you asked (you might want to post them here for feedback). If you haven't already done so, you might also want to post your profile here for review.

Unfortunately, any online dating site is a numbers game and at the end of the day you have to decide if a miniscule number of responses is worth your while (I received a grand total of 2 responses to 120 GC questions sent). Wish I had better news. Based on what I've learned from these Boards, it appears women far outnumber men on eharmony, so your competition is stiff. On the positive side, I don't think men are put off by women who initiate. And you're right, it IS a little like high school
 
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FaintestInkling is offline FaintestInkling Post #5  May 16,2011, 12:44pm
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At least some of your matches are non-subscribers, and therefore cannot respond. Others may be subscribers who have ceased to log-on. In the past, various users of the message-boards have estimated, using different clues, that as many as 2/3s of matches are actually "Not There."

That said, there is a tendency on any online dating site (even the ones where you can see that people are active, or the free-ones, where they don't need to pay to communicate)---for people to be very, very picky about who they communicate with ....

Additionally, despite the advertisements saying that eHarmony is a "relationship site" and is "matching people on deep levels of compabitility," and so on, many people are surprised to find that if you are "having trouble dating" in real life, it is also very likely you will continue to have trouble online (for whatever diverse reasons that may be).

I personally have sent 1st questions to over 1800 matches, and have received approximately 100 responses (about 5.5% response rate), with far less than that making it OC.

The best you can do is "optimize" your profile, by posting it in the Using Harmony forum, and receiving feedback, or from friends of yours (preferably very honest, male friends). If you have made the "best presentation of yourself" possible, that's really all you can do. Although some people swear by it, because "everyone knows so-and-so, who met online"---I am personally very skeptical that online-dating is remotely successful for the majority of users.

Lastly, men do not dislike a woman messaging them first. If they do dislike it (and again, don't assume that---it's likely they don't even receive the message), but if they do dislike it, it wasn't because you initiated, it was because they didn't like something else, whatever that may be, which you have no way of knowing---or for no particular reason at all. The process is most certainly not for the faint of heart or thin of skin ....

EDIT: Note the similarity between the posters' responses, who were all probably typing at about the same time!
Last edited by FaintestInkling; May 16,2011 at 12:47pm.
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #6  May 16,2011, 1:09pm
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It is a numbers game.

I have been on the site for about a week. I have received about 70 matches. I closed 49 of them and sent questions to the other 21. Of those 2 have closed me. I am in various stages of communications with 5, and the rest pending. So, assuming none of the others respond, that is 23.8% of those I sent messages to, and only 7% of total matches.

Your mileage might vary based on profile info, and demographics.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #7  May 16,2011, 2:03pm
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tangochef wrote :
It is a numbers game.

I have been on the site for about a week. I have received about 70 matches. I closed 49 of them and sent questions to the other 21. Of those 2 have closed me. I am in various stages of communications with 5, and the rest pending. So, assuming none of the others respond, that is 23.8% of those I sent messages to, and only 7% of total matches.
This is a 40% closure rate. This seems high. If I may ask, just curious, why are you closing all of these matches immediately? It is indeed a "numbers game".
 
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myusernamehere is online now myusernamehere Post #8  May 16,2011, 2:20pm
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mitchell175 wrote :
This is a 40% closure rate. This seems high. If I may ask, just curious, why are you closing all of these matches immediately? It is indeed a "numbers game".
It does seem extraordinarily picky to me.
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #9  May 16,2011, 3:58pm
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mitchell175 wrote :
This is a 40% closure rate. This seems high. If I may ask, just curious, why are you closing all of these matches immediately? It is indeed a "numbers game".
Actually, the closure rate is more like 70% (49 out of 70). They did not meet my criteria in physical attributes (short or overweight) or the profile (e.g. member of PETA) did not interest me.
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #10  May 16,2011, 4:02pm
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myusernamehere wrote :
It does seem extraordinarily picky to me.
Aren't we looking for the right woman for us, and not settle for one whose main attribute is breathing, and will take you?
 
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