FairOne is offline FairOne Post #1  May 16,2011, 6:18am
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Is it possible that in it's quest to help you get to 'know' your match, that eharmony is just offering TMI (that's 'too much information' for the uninitiated )?

The MH/CS for example- some people labor over them and choose them carefully, others just pick what sounds like it might be in the ballpark and still others struggle to even come up with 10 on each side. But given how much confusion they can cause to the person reading them (as they don't know what state of mind the person writing the profile was in) is it too much information to know that your match wants someone Sexually Knowledgeable (to use an example from Faintest Inkling's thread) before you've even met?

Would it be better if you could write in your own MH/CS (and not necessarily 10 if you don't have 10)- things that you really want your match to know about you, and then we could overcome the issues with awkward wording and the like?

I like the idea of online dating as an introduction with a little prescreening thrown in (age, # of kids, marital status,etc.) but are we taking it too far and just asking for too much personal information from a stranger?

Just thinking out loud- curious to see how others feel about this too.
Last edited by FairOne; May 16,2011 at 6:32am.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #2  May 16,2011, 6:27am
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I do agree that the MH/CS's should be where you can either choose from a list or put in your own....

The whole profile should be written by the person..

And yes..I do think the sex question...while extremely important to me...if meeting irl...this would come up a few dates with a conversation...it is a bit tmi up front and as you mentioned...the way it is written causes great confusion...

As do quite of the MH/CS's....they are terrbibly worded!!! Just like the one about having someone 'attractive by society's standards' ...or something like that...blechhh...

We all know that the majority of people want and desire to be attracted to their partner and vice-versa..

So..yes...this would be nice to have maybe 5 of these and having the choice to write in our own..
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #3  May 16,2011, 6:42am
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Just get rid of them all together...

In all my time on eH, I've never closed someone during MH/CS nor have I been closed..

A write section would IMO be a disaster, and the answers would more than likey become more subjective than they are now.

If anything eH could have a section that expands on what the meaning of the MH/CS are..
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #4  May 16,2011, 6:43am
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I agree that some of them are poorly written, but I think a 'write your own' list has disaster written all over it. The opportunity to be tactless and negative is overwhelming, besides the fact that the average users who post here infrequently, say for profile reviews or one or two questions, are, how shall I say, not the best writers? Now let us imagine these MH/CS, shall we?

1. I must have someone who ain't that fat.
2. Can't staind them that cant spell rite.
3. Must have beer.
4. Can't stand cats, and anybody who likes cats is a loser.
5. I must have a woman who is prettier than my ex Cynthia, go look at her Facebook page and see if you look better than she does and if not don't bother.
6. You need to make a lot of money, cause I expect to be treated like a Princess - take me places, buy me stuff....

Etc. etc.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #5  May 16,2011, 6:45am
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Dropdeadredtx wrote :
I agree that some of them are poorly written, but I think a 'write your own' list has disaster written all over it. The opportunity to be tactless and negative is overwhelming, besides the fact that the average users who post here infrequently, say for profile reviews or one or two questions, are, how shall I say, not the best writers? Now let us imagine these MH/CS, shall we?

1. I must have someone who ain't that fat.
2. Can't staind them that cant spell rite.
3. Must have beer.
4. Can't stand cats, and anybody who likes cats is a loser.
5. I must have a woman who is prettier than my ex Cynthia, go look at her Facebook page and see if you look better than she does and if not don't bother.
6. You need to make a lot of money, cause I expect to be treated like a Princess - take me places, buy me stuff....

Etc. etc.
But that would make it SOOOO much easier to close them then!!! LOL...
 
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FairOne is offline FairOne Post #6  May 16,2011, 6:59am
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LOL!
I agree DDRT, a lot of them would read that way but like Ingy says, then it'd be easier to close.

I tend to think that people would use the same level of care with the MH/CS that they did in the profile text- so if their profile was negative then the MH/CS would be too, but if their profile was decent then they could list their dealbreakers in a non-offensive way. Am I giving too much credit?

And Trek, getting rid of them entirely wouldn't be a bad idea either.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #7  May 16,2011, 7:06am
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FairOne wrote :
Am I giving too much credit?
Yup... eH had to remove a profile question not to long ago, because the family fued number #1 answer was.. "No not at this time" or "tell you later"


wrote :
And Trek, getting rid of them entirely wouldn't be a bad idea either
or just make it part of the profile and not a stage...


There are just too many things eH has in place that do not promote getting to an actual meeting.
Last edited by TrekRyder10; May 16,2011 at 7:17am.
 
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FairOne is offline FairOne Post #8  May 16,2011, 7:16am
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TrekRyder10 wrote :

or just make it part of the profile and not a stage...
I think that could work too!
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #9  May 16,2011, 8:51am
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FairOne wrote :
Is it possible that in it's quest to help you get to 'know' your match, that eharmony is just offering TMI (that's 'too much information' for the uninitiated )?

I like the idea of online dating as an introduction with a little prescreening thrown in (age, # of kids, marital status,etc.) but are we taking it too far and just asking for too much personal information from a stranger?
I agree, enough with the TMI stuff. EH does such a poor job with critical info as it is. (# of kids, marital status, etc).

I went on a date this weekend with an EH match who I found out is technically "separated". Dealbreaker! I never asked, because technically, it is a violation of the EH TOS to be "separated" and not "divorced", so I thought I was safe. It would be such a simple thing to have a check box and show marital status on the profile. I'm pretty sure there is a check box "behind the scenes", and also a place to list whether you have kids and how many, but this does not appear anywhere on the profile.

As for the questions, I have learned over time on EH to avoid some of the more "hot button" GC questions. They are turn off to get them from a match, even though I have no idea what the motivation was behind said match's decision to send them. Is it important to them? Is it just some random question they clicked from a list? Who knows? But, those are the kind of things that EH does that in fact serve to prevent matches from actually ever meeting. Most of the GC questions are things that I wouldn't even ask on the first couple of dates, let alone before ever meeting someone. Epic fail, EH!
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #10  May 16,2011, 9:22am
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Dropdeadredtx wrote :
....
5. I must have a woman who is prettier than my ex Cynthia, go look at her Facebook page and see if you look better than she does and if not don't bother.
..
That is so funny.
 
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