Should guided communication be abolished?


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Lucid is offline Lucid Post #31  December 24,2011, 2:22pm
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Ditch step 2 imho. MH/CS should be a profile page i think. and make it viewable after Step 3 / before OC, so you are aware of what they Cant Stand and what they Must Have. also Must Have and Cant Stand are a bit harsh for terms.
Im a pretty easy going myself and theres alot in life that I can be flexable about with a little compromise. If she likes the material things in life, thats cool, not gonna say NO YOU CANT HAVE THAT. And on the flip side I dont need someone to feel that they NEED TO SHARE EVERY EMOTIONAL FEELING either.
I say change the wording and move GC Step 2 to a profile page viewable after GC Step 3. If someone whats to know what a persons MH/CS's are then maybe that would be a lil more incentive to communicate in GC as well.

[edit] while were on this topic, why not add a "prefered communication" tab to your main profile. GC or OC check marked boxes.

Thoughts?
Last edited by Lucid; December 24,2011 at 2:30pm.
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #32  December 24,2011, 3:21pm
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I totally dig the process.

Stage 1 allows you to gauge interest. Do they initiate? Do you? Do they have the creativity/interest to provide real answers? On most sites you'd have to invest time writing e-mails to folks with potentially zero interest.

Stage 2. ::shrug:: Low-value, but the "edgy" ones like sexual must-haves occasionally filter-in / filter-out people.

Stage 3 lets you to ask the tough questions before investing any time or money in meeting. This is a HUGE time-saver! Right off the bat, you can find out their views on marriage, children, clarify profile questions, and get a feel for their sense of humor.

And then OC and you finally message those who are pre-qualified!
 
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moonette is offline moonette Post #33  December 24,2011, 4:50pm
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I like the process overall. I've written my own answers and questions and so have most of my GC matches. A couple more questions in OC on both sides and it's on to meeting.
I like it way better than the cold call emails of Match.
 
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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #34  December 24,2011, 5:25pm
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Love all three steps of GC. I get what I need to know about a match out of it before spending time on a phone call and investing significant time (6+ hours) on a date.

If a guy is motivated, it takes a day tops to get through, and that's because it takes me time to answer questions in Step 3.
 
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Pepsimax is offline Pepsimax Post #35  December 26,2011, 5:13pm
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As someone who has sent First Questions to over 50 matches sent to me since the beginning - and a smile or icebreaker to another 50 or so, and I have had only one response to the smile - and I found out it wasn't all that good a match, I am at a loss to how to meet anyone on this site. I did have 2 people initiate questions with me. One person I met. So it wasn't a match. No big deal. The other went as far as to a phone call - and it became blatantly obvious that it was not a match.
But back to the Guided Communication dilemma. I would love it if someone would either answer them or close me as a match. Instead they are all sitting there waiting for someone to respond to me in Communication Neverland. What am I doing wrong? Should I always let the man initiate? Had about a 1 in 50 success rate at that. But 0 in 50 when I asked. Please advise. It is very discouraging.
 
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moonette is offline moonette Post #36  December 26,2011, 5:29pm
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I send the more relaxed questions as first questions. if a guy then sends serious questions in the first and second rounds, I'll ask a couple of serious questions in the second round. And maybe one followup in OC

If a guy sends serious questions as first questions, I'll return 1 or 2 of those and ask 1 serious question in the second round and a followup in OC.

I'm distance dating so I'm really selective pre-GC.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #37  December 26,2011, 9:05pm
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Pepsimax wrote :
I would love it if someone would either answer them or close me as a match. Instead they are all sitting there waiting for someone to respond to me in Communication Neverland. What am I doing wrong? Should I always let the man initiate? Had about a 1 in 50 success rate at that. But 0 in 50 when I asked. Please advise. It is very discouraging.
What I have learned in my time with online dating is that men are usually flattered, impressed and intrigued when a woman initiates - if it is a woman that he would have been interested in anyway. I am not saying not to initiate, since you have paid for a membership. 1 in 50 success rate is indeed better than 0 in 50 success rate. I finally got discouraged enough with EH to give up on it entirely. I'm sure it works for some people. It just didn't work for me. Good luck with the rest of your membership!
 
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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #38  December 26,2011, 9:37pm
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There really isn't a significant difference between 0 and 1. I would continue to initiate with those who interest you. I don't think it matters who initiates as long as someone does. Send Guided Communication questions rather than ice breakers. I would also post your profile and photos for review. These might benefit from feedback and revision.

Beyond that, just focus on the matches who do communicate. You can't go to the houses of strangers who are ignoring you and berate them for not closing you. Just let it go. It really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.
 
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eharmonyjc is offline eharmonyjc Post #39  December 27,2011, 12:19pm
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emma_hazards wrote :
Beyond that, just focus on the matches who do communicate. You can't go to the houses of strangers who are ignoring you and berate them for not closing you. Just let it go. It really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.
^^This

When I sold my condo is a good metaphor for dating I think. I had lots of people come through over the span of 4 months, probably over 50. My condo had all the things people looked for on paper: parking space, granite counters, stainless appliances, wood floors, good closets etc etc. But, some people didn't like the paint colors, others weren't into the layout, some didn't like the location. Some liked mine, but just found another condo that worked better for them for various reasons. Some never told my agent why they didn't like my condo, they just disappeared. At first I was a bit annoyed that they weren't into my condo since I thought it was great, but I knew the right person would come along eventually. Sure enough, the right buyer came along who loved the condo and (almost) everything about it. We struck a deal and finally made the sale.

Same goes for dating, just takes that one, so focus on finding that one instead of focusing on all the ones who didn't work out!
 
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