Profile review please: 41yo Female


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Lilli1770 is offline Lilli1770 Post #1  March 12,2011, 11:09am
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Hi there! Hoping I can get some feedback on my profile. I am not having much luck and don't know if it is do to my profile, pictures, or being located in a rural area. Thanks!!

The one thing I am most passionate about:

I am passionate about my work. I get to use my skills to help protect men and women serving overseas. I am continually humbled and amazed by the bravery and sacrifice people make in order to keep us safe. I consider it a privilege to contribute to their mission.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:

It is hard to pick a single quality, but I would say kindness is the most important. That is something you can't fake or really learn, it is just part of a person's soul. As the saying goes "mean people suck".

The most influential person in my life has been:

My Grandfather was very influential and had too many amazing qualities to list. He taught me to be kind, nonjudgmental and humble. He had an amazing sense of humor and work ethic and he could tell a story like no one else! He was also incredibly loyal. He was such a great man and is dearly missed.

The three things which I am most thankful for:

* I am thankful for having a loving family, that despite our occasional normal family dysfunction, I can always depend on, trust and have fun with!
* I am thankful that I have the blessing of doing what I love for a living and can make a difference, however small that may be.
* So thankful that I live in the freedom and beauty of this country and for the brave men and women who keep it that way.

Three of my best life-skills are:

* Using humor to make friends laugh
* Achieving personal goals
* Managing my finances

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

That quiet doesn't = tame. Although I can be quiet at times and have to be serious at work, I also have an adventurous side!

The things I can't live without are:

* family and friends
* freedom and independence
* technology - computer/internet/DVR
* music
* health/wellness

The first thing people notice about me:

People say they notice my sense of humor.

Some additional information I want you to know:

I drink milk out of the carton, I drive too fast, the filter between my brain and my mouth malfunctions on occasion, I love to be barefoot yet I can't seem to buy enough shoes, and I almost always tear up when I hear the National Anthem. I'm not into sci-fi, sandals with socks, or felons. Please, no drama, drugs or criminal history.

I typically spend my leisure time:

I recently got a personal trainer and am working on getting in good shape. I also enjoy traveling, playing poker, sports (Red Sox, Patriots) and hearing live music.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

I mostly read technical publications/policy documents etc... for work. Not too exciting. Outside of work, I usually read non-fiction books on topics like health and poker strategy.
Last edited by Lilli1770; March 12,2011 at 11:22am. Reason: missing part of my "passionate" answer
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  March 12,2011, 11:31am
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Hi Lilli1770 and welcome to EHAdvice!

Overall your profile is pretty good but I have a few comments below.

Is your problem that you are not getting many matches (which would mean you should rethink your preference settings -- post them here and you'll get feedback on them)? Or is it that you get matches but nothing happens?

Lilli1770 wrote :
Hi there! Hoping I can get some feedback on my profile. I am not having much luck and don't know if it is do to my profile, pictures, or being located in a rural area. Thanks!!

The one thing I am most passionate about:

I am passionate about my work.

Nope. Redo this. This is the first section matches see, and your answer is way too terse, gives very little info about you, and doesn't really give your matches anything to respond to. Say what you love about your work, how it makes you feel ... expand on it.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:

It is hard to pick a single quality, but I would say kindness is the most important. That is something you can't fake or really learn, it is just part of a person's soul. As the saying goes "mean people suck".

This is a good answer I think, but perhaps find a different saying to quote -- quote something positive rather than something negative. "Kind people rock" or whatever.

The most influential person in my life has been:

My Grandfather was very influential and had too many amazing qualities to list. He taught me to be kind, nonjudgmental and humble. He had an amazing sense of humor and work ethic and he could tell a story like no one else! He was also incredibly loyal. He was such a great man and is dearly missed. Nice answer.

The three things which I am most thankful for:

* I am thankful for having a loving family, that despite our occasional normal family dysfunction, I can always depend on, trust and have fun with!
* I am thankful that I have the blessing of doing what I love for a living and can make a difference, however small that may be.
* So thankful that I live in the freedom and beauty of this country and for the brave men and women who keep it that way.
good answers.

Three of my best life-skills are:

* Using humor to make friends laugh
* Achieving personal goals
* Managing my finances

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

That quiet doesn't = tame. Although I can be quiet at times and have to be serious at work, I also have an adventurous side! Good answer.

The things I can't live without are:

* family and friends
* freedom and independence
* technology - computer/internet/DVR
* music
* health/wellness

The first thing people notice about me:

People say they notice my sense of humor. Say something funny, rather than saying you are funny.

Some additional information I want you to know:

I drink milk out of the carton, I drive too fast, the filter between my brain and my mouth malfunctions on occasion, I love to be barefoot yet I can't seem to buy enough shoes, and I almost always tear up when I hear the National Anthem. I'm not into sci-fi, sandals with socks, or felons. Please, no drama, drugs or criminal history. I'd delete the last 2 sentences -- saying what you can't stand or won't tolerate is kind of off-putting in a profile. I might also delete the first sentence -- you're being sarcastic about your own self: also kind of off-putting. Well that deletes the whole thing.

I typically spend my leisure time:

I recently got a personal trainer and am working on getting in good shape. Just warning you -- a lot of men will read this last sentence as "she's way out of shape". You could just say "I like working out".I also enjoy traveling, playing poker, sports (Red Sox, Patriots) and hearing live music. Rather than make a laundry list like this, say a little more about these things: why you like them, and concrete examples. That means you can't list as many things; there isn't enough space -- you can put additional things in "additional info" if you want.

E.g. "I love to travel: backpacking or nice hotels; sightseeing or camping, it's all good. Spent last August on a 3-week raft trip in Canada. I also am a poker fan: penny-ante only, with friends mostly; I go to Tahoe once or twice a year for tournaments." -- get more specific, say more about fewer things.
The last book I read and enjoyed:

I mostly read technical publications/policy documents etc... for work. Not too exciting. Outside of work, I usually read non-fiction books on topics like health and poker strategy.
 
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Lilli1770 is offline Lilli1770 Post #3  March 12,2011, 11:39am
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Hi Sassafras - Thank you for the feedback, some great things to work on. To answer your initial question, I am getting matches but nothing happens. I think part of the problem is my location, most of my matches are far away. But, I also think it could be my profile, so thank you for the help.

For the passion question - I edited after you viewed because some was missing. The whole thing says:

"I am passionate about my work. I get to use my skills to help protect men and women serving overseas. I am continually humbled and amazed by the bravery and sacrifice people make in order to keep us safe. I consider it a privilege to contribute to their mission."

Thank you again!
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #4  March 12,2011, 11:50am
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I also think this is a really good profile. It is conversational, and gives a good impression of what you are like. But, for me, this section below was like: Scrreeeeccchhhh! Your whole profile just went from light and flirtatious to glaring negativity with the "don't bother" section.

But, if you are into the Sox and the Pats (I assume you must be from New England like me), you'll be a good match for most of the same guys I get matched with, who are all "Passionate about the Sox and the Pats". I am not a sports fan.


Some additional information I want you to know:

I drink milk out of the carton, I drive too fast, the filter between my brain and my mouth malfunctions on occasion, I love to be barefoot yet I can't seem to buy enough shoes, and I almost always tear up when I hear the National Anthem. I'm not into sci-fi, sandals with socks, or felons. Please, no drama, drugs or criminal history. I'd delete the last 2 sentences -- saying what you can't stand or won't tolerate is kind of off-putting in a profile. I might also delete the first sentence -- you're being sarcastic about your own self: also kind of off-putting. Well that deletes the whole thing.
 
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Co6aka is offline Co6aka Post #5  March 12,2011, 12:48pm
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Off the cuff...

Lilli1770 wrote :
The one thing I am most passionate about: I am passionate about my work.

So you live to work? And if you found yourself suddenly unemployed, what then? Would you be crushed to lose your greatest passion in life? Seems that when one's greatest passion in life is their job, they've lost the whole point of life. SO, other than your work, is there anything you're passionate about? Write about that instead.

"I get to use my skills to help protect men and women serving overseas" and "I am continually humbled and amazed by the bravery and sacrifice people make" and "I consider it a privilege to contribute to their mission" are fine and admirable, but "in order to keep us safe" is debatable, so think about leaving this out.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:

It is hard to pick a single quality...

So you're not certain of what you're looking for? Try something like this: "KINDNESS. It's something you can't fake or learn, it's part of a person's soul."
Delete: As the saying goes "mean people suck"

The most influential person in my life has been:

"My Grandfather. He was very influential and had many amazing qualities: He taught me to be kind, nonjudgmental and humble. He had an amazing sense of humor and work ethic and he could tell a story like no one else! He was also incredibly loyal. He was a great man and I dearly miss him."

The three things which I am most thankful for:

* Having a loving family I can always depend on, trust and have fun with!
* That I enjoy enjoy my work, and it makes a difference... [to?]
* That I live in the freedom and beauty of this country, and for the brave men and women who keep it that way.

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

I have an adventurous side: [We're all-ears!]

The first thing people notice about me:

People say they notice my sense of humor.

So let's hear it already! What, you think we love being left in suspense? ()

Some additional information I want you to know:

"I tear-up when I hear the National Anthem."

I typically spend my leisure time:

Q was "typically." So you typically travel, go to concerts, watch "sports" and play poker?

I recently got a personal trainer and am working on getting in good shape. I also enjoy traveling, playing poker, sports (Red Sox, Patriots) and hearing live music.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

I mostly read technical publications/policy documents etc... for work. Not too exciting.

Then why do you mention that here? Q was "enjoyed" and "the last book" and "why."
 
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Lilli1770 is offline Lilli1770 Post #6  March 12,2011, 1:03pm
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Thank you Mitchell and Co6aka - great feedback from both. Back to work with the changes for me.

Mitchell - I don't live in NE anymore, I'm in Steeler's land which might be hurting me!!
 
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eDisharmony is offline eDisharmony Post #7  March 12,2011, 2:17pm
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Decent:
Lilli1770 wrote :
I drive too fast
Better:
"I could beat you in a street race. ;-)"

And I'd find that lone sentence in an "additional info" section extremely hot, personally. I would not take it literally. The kind of guy scared by this is likely boring and chemistry-challenged anyway.

You could also make a joke out of the shoe thing because that's feminine, cute, and expected. Just don't mention buying shoes, lest a match one day think he'll be the guy who ends up paying for them with funds of the "our money" designation.

The "additional info" section should be an opportunity for a bold funny/cocky statement, if you have no dealbreaker-grade information to share. Or it should just not be answered. Your current paragraph is pointed in the right direction, but it's better to just pick one thing from your first sentence and say it in jest.

Driving or shoes really work best there.

However:

Lilli1770 wrote :
I drink milk out of the carton
Just because men do this, doesn't mean women ought to. And it need not be confessed in a dating profile regardless.

While women can sit on the Supreme Court, patriarchal society has thus far chosen to deny your request for equality on carton slurping. Condolences, ladies!
 
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Lilli1770 is offline Lilli1770 Post #8  March 12,2011, 2:25pm
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eDis - great feedback. thank you! Back to work on the profile! Although I'm sad to hear about the milk! :P
 
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Rob625 is offline Rob625 Post #9  May 16,2011, 8:11pm
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The main thing that stuck out for me was the part about dysfunctional family. Leave it out. You are not baring your soul here---you don't even know each other yet. The rest sounds good to me, for the kind of man you would probably want to be with.
 
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KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #10  May 17,2011, 8:51am
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Lilli1770 wrote :
Hi there! Hoping I can get some feedback on my profile. I am not having much luck and don't know if it is do to my profile, pictures, or being located in a rural area. Thanks!!

The one thing I am most passionate about:

I am passionate about my work. I get to use my skills to help protect men and women serving overseas. I am continually humbled and amazed by the bravery and sacrifice people make in order to keep us safe. I consider it a privilege to contribute to their mission.

This is just "ok." If you are going to go this route, at least say WHAT your work is. At this point the reader will not know.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:

DELETE: It is hard to pick a single quality, but I would say kindness is the most important. That is something you can't fake or really learn, it is just part of a person's soul. As the saying goes "mean people suck".



The most influential person in my life has been:

My Grandfather SAL [DELETE: was very influential and had too many amazing qualities to list.] He taught me to be kind, nonjudgmental and humble. He had an amazing sense of humor and work ethic and he could tell a story like no one else! He was also incredibly loyal. He was such a great man and is dearly missed.

It would be nice if you had something CONCRETE ....the whole first half of your profile is all "feelings" and no detail. How did he teach you? While fishing, watching baseball, sunday dinners????

The three things which I am most thankful for:

* I am thankful for having a loving family,[DELETE if it's "normal" than you don't need to mention it, if it's not normal save it for date 4 or 5]: that despite our occasional normal family dysfunction,] I can always depend on, trust and have fun with!
* I am thankful that I have the blessing of doing what I love for a living and can make a difference, however small that may be.
* So thankful that I live in the freedom and beauty of this country and for the brave men and women who keep it that way.

Three of my best life-skills are:

* Using humor to make friends laugh
* Achieving personal goals
* Managing my finances

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

That quiet doesn't = tame. Although I can be quiet at times and have to be serious at work, I also have an adventurous side!

Love the first sentence.

The things I can't live without are:

* family and friends
* freedom and independence
* technology - computer/internet/DVR
* music (SPECIFICS? Ella? Jimi? Kid Rock? Garth?????)
* health/wellness

This list needs CPR. It is the female version of "oxygen and food." Don't be so literal. Use sensory language if possible. Hot bubble bathes, the smell of lasagna, .....the things that make you sigh and go "ahhhhh.

The first thing people notice about me:

People say they notice my sense of humor.

Some additional information I want you to know:

I drink milk out of the carton, I drive too fast, the filter between my brain and my mouth malfunctions on occasion, I love to be barefoot yet I can't seem to buy enough shoes, and I almost always tear up when I hear the National Anthem. I'm not into sci-fi, sandals with socks, or felons. Please, no drama, drugs or criminal history.

I like all of this up until the last two sentences.

I typically spend my leisure time:

I recently got a personal trainer and am working on getting in good shape. I also enjoy traveling, playing poker, sports (Red Sox, Patriots) and hearing live music.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

I mostly read technical publications/policy documents etc... for work. Not too exciting. Outside of work, I usually read non-fiction books on topics like health and poker strategy.
Comments above in blue.

Your profile is like a tale of two women. The first half is all blah blah blah feelings and nothing concrete. This is when you need to capture their attention!!! you need to create connections....a place for them to say ME TOO! I can't live without peanut butter/the Red Sox/my Iphone. ME TOO!

For your 5 things.... If you were on survivor or some reality show where you got "luxury items" what would you pick????

The second half works much better to my view although you need to take out some of the negative language.

Use specifics. We don't know much about you/your life style.

Are you cowboy boots, garth and grits or camo, Kid Rock and deer hunting or a vegan VW driving, mac user?
Last edited by KikiAZ; May 17,2011 at 8:56am. Reason: brain not working
 
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