andy1972 is offline andy1972 Post #1  February 13,2011, 5:18pm
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Ok, so unlike other dating sites eHarmony does not provide you with the ability to make a more clear option here.

A few of my matches take the fact that I put no here as a sign that I do not want kids at all ie: their existing ones. We have the option in personal preferences to say it's ok if my match has kids, but that is not translated into our profiles.

This has to be more clear as I feel like potential matches have closed me due to this

I cannot say yes or maybe to this as I cannot have kids of my own, that would be confusing to matches when I tell them I can't have kids and it's wasting their time and I feel like I'm lying to them.

Take a lesson from match (no, but it is ok if my partner has kids) or (No, but I am willing to adopt)

Yes, I could put it in my profile but I know that is the first thing matches look at first and could close without reading the rest.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #2  February 14,2011, 11:55am
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andy1972 wrote :
Yes, I could put it in my profile but I know that is the first thing matches look at first and could close without reading the rest.
Hi Andy, I would still put a note in your profile under "Some Additional Info I'd Like You To Know". Some people may not read any further than just seeing your "No", but then that's potentially their loss.

Maybe you can reconsider your "Maybe"? I don't think it would be a "lie" to choose "Maybe". As a woman, I run into a lot of guys who in fact have kids of their own already, but make no mention of them anywhere on their profile. They feel comfortable choosing "Kids at home? No" because they are the non-custodial parent. They often also have "Want kids? Maybe". Whether this is because they actually already have kids, or because they would welcome kids from their matches, or because they actually want their own/more of their own kids... I cannot say. That is where I would ask them "What does your Maybe mean?". I will never just close these matches for that answer, but I might close them for a "No".
 
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charmed59 is offline charmed59 Post #3  February 14,2011, 1:05pm
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mitchell175 wrote :
As a woman, I run into a lot of guys who in fact have kids of their own already, but make no mention of them anywhere on their profile. They feel comfortable choosing "Kids at home? No" because they are the non-custodial parent.
And apparently they don't consider their children enough a part of their lives to mention them as being important.

I can understand men that don't have shared custody that put "No" under children at home because they feel you can't do that if you don't have them 100% of the time. But usually they mention them somewhere. Those I give a break because they are confused with the choices.

Have any men run across women that have partial custody of their children that pick "No" because they don't have them all the time? And have any men run across women with minor children that don't mention them at all in their profile?
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #4  February 14,2011, 1:41pm
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If you are open to have their kids, or adopt kids then say yes....you can explain it further if you feel this may be someone you will meet, or date.
 
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