Ben1992 is offline Ben1992 Post #1  February 13,2011, 2:23am
Ben1992's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Nov 2010

Posts: 4

See profile

Hi everyone,

I initiated GC with a match, and we quickly made it to the third stage (the questions) and I was wondering how much pressure to put on my answers. I know it's a fairly good sign to make it this far, but I've heard some stories about how the communication just stops. How often does this happen?
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  February 13,2011, 2:31am
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,149

See profile

Since the 2nd set of questions are a bit more involved many people seem to drop off at this point. I personally cannot seem to make myself answer them fully when I'm not excited about the match. You also must assume that the other person is communicating with others, so they could have already reached the OC (Open Communication) stage with them, so you are essentially on the back burner.

I suggest answering the questions fully, but don't make them novel length. Definitely make them a few sentences, as single word or phrased answers make it appear you don't care that they asked the question.

I once had a match I was pretty excited about answer all three of my questions with "Yeah, some." "Maybe." "Not sure about this." I was immediately turned off. I thought about it, but ultimately closed him.

PS, welcome to the boards!
 
  Reply With Quote
Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #3  February 13,2011, 5:42am
Sparkles56's Avatar

Contemplation must bring forth right action to permit further growth.

Veteran

Joined: Sep 2010

Ohio

Posts: 1,679

See profile

AndieIsMe wrote :
I suggest answering the questions fully, but don't make them novel length. Definitely make them a few sentences, as single word or phrased answers make it appear you don't care that they asked the question.
I wonder what the average answer length is for these questions? I'm either sufficiently not interested in a match that I'll close her out, or give her my full attention. I usually write quite a bit, but I tend to be verbose in my writing anyway. I think I'm unusual in this regard, but I don't think it's driven anyone away.
 
  Reply With Quote
mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #4  February 13,2011, 6:47am
mitchell175's Avatar

mixing metaphors in a mellifluous melange of malapropisms

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2010

Boston, MA... or thereabouts

Posts: 6,394

See profile

AndieIsMe wrote :
I once had a match I was pretty excited about answer all three of my questions with "Yeah, some." "Maybe." "Not sure about this." I was immediately turned off. I thought about it, but ultimately closed him.
I agree with this ^^^. It is very off-putting to get these succinct, non-answers. I have gotten that, after spending some time crafting my answers to the guy, so that was very annoying.

And, guess what? If that's what you're getting in GC - that's also what you're going to get in OC. (And, quite likely in person conversation, too).
 
  Reply With Quote
Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  February 13,2011, 11:10am
Sassafras54's Avatar

Your Community Coordinator

Moderator

Joined: Oct 2009

San Pedro, CA

Posts: 9,085

See profile

The best thing to do is ask questions you want to ask, and answer in the way that seems good to you.

It's true that some matches won't like your questions or answers ... but that's ok. The point of the process is to figure out whether you have potential as a pair.

The best way to find a good relationship is to act like yourself -- while not every match will like you, eventually you'll find one who really likes you, just as you are -- and that's what you want.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« eH and Firefox issues | Using eHarmony | Are there attractive possible matches on this site? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Guided Communication Ends.. Then what? dianaloves Using eHarmony 12 January 27,2011 3:42pm
Goin straight to eharmony mail or doing the questions in the steps? IcedKiwis Using eHarmony 16 December 2,2010 9:48am
Need advice on Guided Communication ephorn09 Using eHarmony 14 February 26,2010 7:58pm
Guided Communication questions... AlynC Using eHarmony 9 January 29,2010 6:50pm
guided communication nancy2801 Using eHarmony 11 June 14,2009 11:38am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ Where's the other boot?” –  Breezy1

Join the “She stared at my feet. Is this normal?” discussion

“Exit interviews are highly recommended in many dating books and in other life strategy books. They are very effective. I think he would answer honestly to the some point. I know that is horrible and ... ” –  biking_girl

Join the “Exit interview after unsuccessful date” discussion

“And I'd also add that while a successful stable job down the road and a solid income is helpful in attracting a woman, it's no guarantee that finding love will be easy for you. I know plenty of men ... ” –  boschimsp

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“I think if someone says they can't meet you for weeks, they are lukewarm interested. Even if he were truly busy with a project, he'd be able to drop you an email or a text here and there. I took ... ” –  Carole1520

Join the “Did he poof?” discussion

“ Yes, illegal aliens aren't treated as illegals. lol OP, trust your gut. A few months ago, I met a guy on match, who said his membership was expiring, and gave me his IM so we could chat. I ... ” –  Carole1520

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“Stop humping my leg.” –  Breezy1

Join the “Comment to win a FREE month of eHarmony!” discussion

“I thought this thread was about exercise. Positive OP though...nice to see.” –  Breezy1

Join the “It's a matter of fit” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:38pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0