kiminmke is offline kiminmke Post #1  February 3,2011, 2:02pm
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Hi there. Maybe I'm frustrated too soon, but.. I joined eharmony about 15 days ago. I am really happy with my quantity of matches and the matches themselves. I have 160 matches so far. But I am so frustrated in that I have sent out about 10 either guided or email communications, but only a couple of them clicked replies, no written replies, and no direct communications to me yet. And of my 160 matches, about 90% of them have viewed my profile. So they are viewing it, so I assume something in my profile is turning them off or is missing for them to pull the trigger and reach out to me. Yes/No? What could I do at this stage? That is the matches are intrigued enough to view the profile, but they are not replying at all.

I inititally didn't like my photos and some of my profile descriptions. So the first few days were rough because I was closed by about 30% of my matches. But since then I've changed some of my photos and took a couple new ones and added them, and the closing is down to only like 2 a week now, very few. So I no longer really think it's my photos. But I am getting tired of sending out and not getting responses and getting no direct communications.

Physically, I have some pretty qualities, like my face. But I do have a few pounds to lose. And this whole experience is at least a great motivator on that end. But I am really not out of shape. I am looking for someone who is pretty active, in sports and such. So I think that's probably it. My competition is probably posting swimsuit photos and they are thinner than me. Something is stopping any matches from reaching out to me, and I just can't put my finger on it.

The only thing I can control now is my profile. I'm not sure how to get advice on that here? I'll look into that. But if anybody has or had the same difficulty as I'm having, I'd love to hear some advice. Maybe that's too difficult without seeing my profile. But I would at least feel better if I knew others had similar experiences than me. I wouldn't feel alone in this struggle. And if anyone can think of any general advice, that would be great, too. Thank you so much!!

Kim
 
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Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #2  February 3,2011, 2:25pm
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Welcome to the world of eHarmony, Kim! I think we really need to make a FAQ on this, because notes like yours occur about once a week. Here is what I've guessed based on my experience. Suppose you get 50 matches per week:

40 of those are "Zombies" who haven't paid and can't contact you, leaving 10;
5 of those 10 got married in 2005 and forgot to close their profile, leaving 5;
3 of those 5 don't like something they see in your profile and so they won't respond;
2 will respond.

Here are my stats after about 4 months on eH:

-477 Matches
-6 reached "open comm"
-3 dates, one with a second

You might try posting your profile here for others to review. I noticed a lot more "action" on my profile after everyone here helped me improve it.
 
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kiminmke is offline kiminmke Post #3  February 3,2011, 2:46pm
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Thanks so much! Like I thought, maybe just hearing a few, "yeah, me too's", on here will make me feel better. I totally gotcha!

I'm trying to remember that I'm only looking for one to work out, ultimately, anyway. That tends to make me feel better.

I am going to try the posting my profile words on here. I've got a few tweaks of my own to work on first though.

But I really appreciate the post, thanks again!
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #4  February 3,2011, 3:52pm
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they may view but often can't send a message because either they aren't a subscriber or worse.... their husband/wife is in the room!

or they are window shopping!
 
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boomer_gal is online now boomer_gal Post #5  February 3,2011, 8:12pm
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I haven't kept track of the number of matches in my ~ 6 weeks on EH (is there something on the site that counts them for you?), but it has been nowhere like the numbers that have been reported in this thread. Maybe 25? And no matches at all in about a week. Given Sparkles mathmatical formula, I think I am not too likely to meet that special someone here on EH. I don't think I was all that optimistic to begin with, but whatever optimism I might have started with has been rapidly eroded. Not one match has even made it to GC.
 
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Odira is offline Odira Post #6  February 3,2011, 8:33pm
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boomer_gal wrote :
I haven't kept track of the number of matches in my ~ 6 weeks on EH (is there something on the site that counts them for you?), but it has been nowhere like the numbers that have been reported in this thread. Maybe 25? And no matches at all in about a week. Given Sparkles mathmatical formula, I think I am not too likely to meet that special someone here on EH. I don't think I was all that optimistic to begin with, but whatever optimism I might have started with has been rapidly eroded. Not one match has even made it to GC.
I'm right there with you boomer-gal. I've been on eh for about three months. Very few matches at first, then I relaxed my settings, got a few more. Initiated lots of communications requests, got two GC replies who then poofed. From what I've read on these Boards, patience and perseverance are essential, along with a thick skin.
 
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SkinsGiants_fan is offline SkinsGiants_fan Post #7  February 4,2011, 9:22am
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Wow, 90% of the OP's matches viewed her? That number sounds high!

A lot of them are probably NPMs who are window shopping. But even if they are not, being viewed doesn't mean they are interested, it just means they are clicking on the various matches to see if they might be interested in some of them. For all we know, they might read in the profile that the OP has children or a pit bull and say "never mind" and archive her. Definitely worth posting your profile for review, if you haven't done so already.
 
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magnoliagirl is offline magnoliagirl Post #8  June 27,2011, 6:07pm
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Sparkles56 wrote :
Welcome to the world of eHarmony, Kim! I think we really need to make a FAQ on this, because notes like yours occur about once a week. Here is what I've guessed based on my experience. Suppose you get 50 matches per week:

40 of those are "Zombies" who haven't paid and can't contact you, leaving 10;
5 of those 10 got married in 2005 and forgot to close their profile, leaving 5;
3 of those 5 don't like something they see in your profile and so they won't respond;
2 will respond.

Here are my stats after about 4 months on eH:

-477 Matches
-6 reached "open comm"
-3 dates, one with a second

You might try posting your profile here for others to review. I noticed a lot more "action" on my profile after everyone here helped me improve it.
 
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