Jean502 is offline Jean502 Post #1  February 1,2011, 2:35pm
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I asked a man who approached me with the " I would love to talk" icebraker with some of the questions created by this site. The question was "Do you believe in sex before marriage" his answer was "not if the other person wants to". I do not believe in sex before marriage (old fashion and christian) what should I do?
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #2  February 1,2011, 3:01pm
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Jean502 wrote :
I asked a man who approached me with the " I would love to talk" icebraker with some of the questions created by this site. The question was "Do you believe in sex before marriage" his answer was "not if the other person wants to". I do not believe in sex before marriage (old fashion and christian) what should I do?
I don't get it...did you mean: "not if the other person doesn't want to"??
If those were his actual words, it could mean "no, I don't believe in sex before marriage.. even if the other person wants to"
is that what you meant to post? And if so, whats the issue?
Last edited by TheThinker; February 1,2011 at 3:03pm.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  February 1,2011, 3:04pm
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I'm confused too.

Can you explain what you think this person meant?
 
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StPaulGirl is offline StPaulGirl Post #4  February 1,2011, 3:20pm
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Jean502 wrote :
I do not believe in sex before marriage (old fashion and christian) what should I do?
Proceed with communication, and ask for clarification when you're able. For example - use one of your essay questions to ask something like: "Due to my old fashioned/Christian beliefs, I do not intend to have sex before marriage. Do you feel the same way?"
 
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Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #5  February 1,2011, 3:29pm
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Jean502 wrote :
I do not believe in sex before marriage (old fashion and christian) what should I do?
There's not really any discussion needed. If he believes in sex before marriage and you don't, you either determine how important this is to you, or close him out.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #6  February 1,2011, 3:46pm
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There is too much vagueness in this comment. You need to get clarification later on what he meant by it.

A question worded like "Do you believe in sex before marriage" is a question where the responder will likely say what you want to hear.....especially if they are interested in you. Some guys will read this question and think you are planning on waiting so they will look at you as a conquest.
 
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FaintestInkling is offline FaintestInkling Post #7  February 1,2011, 3:56pm
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He probably meant "not if the other person wants to wait," to mean, "I would have sex before marriage if the woman wanted to, but I'm also willing to wait if she doesn't."

But as the others stated, just ask him at the next stage of communication.

Don't read much into those tiny little 5 questions with their very limited answer-boxes.
 
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notyet is offline notyet Post #8  February 1,2011, 5:45pm
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i agree with FI above- it sounds as if he will follow your lead in this issue. if you want to wait- he will wait. but if you are willing- it sounds as if he would be willing as well.

having said that, clarity is what you are looking for here and you can't clarify his meaning without communication. unless you are put off by other things i would counsel further communication in order to clarify his position.
Last edited by notyet; February 1,2011 at 6:20pm.
 
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frogprince is offline frogprince Post #9  February 1,2011, 9:09pm
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ami1uwant wrote :
Some guys will read this question and think you are planning on waiting so they will look at you as a conquest.
I highly doubt that would be 99.9% of mens responses.
 
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