Are there attractive possible matches on this site?


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sem626 is offline sem626 Post #1  January 23,2011, 7:26pm
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Okay, I have begun receiving matches and I am a little concerned about ever receiving a match that I find attractive! I am not at all a snob. On a scale of 1 to 10 I would rate myself as a 7.5 although I also know that I am more attractive in social settings when you can see my personality in action. I have never dated anyone solely on their appearance, and I believe that attraction is a combination of many things and a great personality, sense of humor, etc. can completely change how attractive someone is.

Here is my concern thus far on eH, the matches are people that are so unattractive I would be hard pressed to even rate them as high as a 3. Are there attractive matches out there? Also, a number of the men who I have received as matches say they are whatever age, but their photo says that they have to be at least 10 to 15 years older! Is this common? I'm just trying to figure out if I am wasting my time.

In case you are wondering, I'm not interested in a booty call site like Match.

Thanks!

Shannon
 
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chimerical is offline chimerical Post #2  January 23,2011, 7:38pm
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Hmm, two pieces of advice.

First, pictures can be misleading. Incredibly, incredibly misleading. Lots of people take terrible, poor-quality pictures that make them look ugly. That could be the phenomenon you're running into. To see if this might be the case, pick at least 3 or 4 guys whose profiles you otherwise like, meet them in person, and judge from there. I have been pleasantly surprised by meeting people. I have been unpleasantly surprised by meeting people. And even if you don't hit the jackpot with the first 3 or 4, if you're patient and keep trying, you may find a "keeper" anyway.

Another suggestion would be, if you don't like the results you get on eHarmony, you might look on other dating websites (rather than dismissing them as "booty call" sites). You'll find good matches and bad ones anywhere you look. I personally have had decent success on Match and much better success on OkCupid (which is actually free).

But really, the first point is the key one. Even you think you look better in real life, right? I'd give some of these guys a shot. It's not like meeting for coffee is equivalent to promising them your firstborn, is it?
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  January 23,2011, 7:42pm
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sem626 wrote :
Okay, I have begun receiving matches and I am a little concerned about ever receiving a match that I find attractive! I am not at all a snob. On a scale of 1 to 10 I would rate myself as a 7.5 although I also know that I am more attractive in social settings when you can see my personality in action.
Ok...

wrote :
I have never dated anyone solely on their appearance, and I believe that attraction is a combination of many things and a great personality, sense of humor, etc. can completely change how attractive someone is.
wrote :
Here is my concern thus far on eH, the matches are people that are so unattractive I would be hard pressed to even rate them as high as a 3. Are there attractive matches out there? Also, a number of the men who I have received as matches say they are whatever age, but their photo says that they have to be at least 10 to 15 years older! Is this common? I'm just trying to figure out if I am wasting my time.
so are you saying you are just not clicking with some of these matches you go out with??
Last edited by TheThinker; January 23,2011 at 7:44pm.
 
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sem626 is offline sem626 Post #4  January 23,2011, 8:01pm
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TheThinker wrote :
Ok...

so are you saying you are just not clicking with some of these matches you go out with??
Actually, the matches that have been sent to me are people who I would not start communicating with. They have been morbidly obese or elderly. I have no problem with a few extra pounds or a few years older, but the matches I have received have been well beyond that! I can't consider dating someone who is carrying around an extra 80lbs or looks like they could be my grandfather.

I'm hoping that this is just random and not the norm for the men on the site and that future matches may have more promise. I'm really not picky, just curous as to what I can expect.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #5  January 23,2011, 8:06pm

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It's not really the norm....see if you can adjust your settings...narrow your age range at the very least.

It is frustrating at times, as some men seem to really believe that women don't care about appearance, or anything really (and I've had some luck on match, but in my new location it's so bad it's almost funny...well it was funny til now it just depresses me...).

Eh is better in most all regards. And I wish more men knew it was cool to smile instead of look scary. But, eh.

Just mess with your settings. I can't imagine that many guys lie about their age. Be patient.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #6  January 23,2011, 8:10pm
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sem626 wrote :
Actually, the matches that have been sent to me are people who I would not start communicating with. They have been morbidly obese or elderly. I have no problem with a few extra pounds or a few years older, but the matches I have received have been well beyond that! I can't consider dating someone who is carrying around an extra 80lbs or looks like they could be my grandfather.

I'm hoping that this is just random and not the norm for the men on the site and that future matches may have more promise. I'm really not picky, just curous as to what I can expect.
Well, if you haven't been on long, and/or you haven't received that many matches, yet..it could be a random thing.

Hard to tell because you haven't given any numbers...and it's all about numbers.
 
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sem626 is offline sem626 Post #7  January 23,2011, 8:29pm
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cp30 wrote :
It's not really the norm....see if you can adjust your settings...narrow your age range at the very least.

It is frustrating at times, as some men seem to really believe that women don't care about appearance, or anything really (and I've had some luck on match, but in my new location it's so bad it's almost funny...well it was funny til now it just depresses me...).

Eh is better in most all regards. And I wish more men knew it was cool to smile instead of look scary. But, eh.

Just mess with your settings. I can't imagine that many guys lie about their age. Be patient.
I'm 43 so I set the age to 38 to 48. One of the guys said he was 49 but he truly looked like he was at least 70! I don't think they are neceessarily lying about their ages, just not aging well! Another was very over weight and put up a photo that was a side view while he was painting his house and completely soaked in sweat, just gross!

I'll be patient and see what else comes up! Thanks!
 
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sem626 is offline sem626 Post #8  January 23,2011, 8:34pm
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TheThinker wrote :
Well, if you haven't been on long, and/or you haven't received that many matches, yet..it could be a random thing.

Hard to tell because you haven't given any numbers...and it's all about numbers.
I haven't been on long, less than a week. I have received 20 matches and 19 were aweful. One was ok, so I sent a communication.

I'm in sw fl, it may just be the people here......
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #9  January 23,2011, 8:41pm

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It does suprise me how differentlys some people age. It also does suprise me how many men over 45 contact me even though my tip-top age says 44.

Some men look really old at 39, while some look great at 45.

I almost hope they are lying, then at least you know it's not the norm!
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #10  January 24,2011, 4:13am
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There are sites like hot or not, that cater to your 1-10 scale of attractiveness. eHarmony does not match based on numerical "attractiveness".
sem626 wrote :
I would rate myself as a 7.5 although I also know that I am more attractive in social settings I would be hard pressed to even rate them as high as a 3. In case you are wondering, I'm not interested in a booty call site
Last edited by Wiseman2; January 24,2011 at 4:27am.
 
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