Helpful profile advice for women

Things to keep in mind for attracting impossible to please neurotics like me:


1.)* I don't care what your favorite color is.* Really, I don't.


2.)* Any variation of "I like to laugh and have fun!"* Really? I like sitting in the dark crying and plunging an empty syringe into my arm.


3.)* Mentioning your dog in every section is not required.* I get it, you're a woman and thus biologically programmed to want to nurture things.* In the absence of a baby/husband you'll pick the next closest lower-order species.* But once or twice in a profile is enough mentions.


4.)* I understand we all can't live without oxygen and water.* If you are lacking enough in originality to point this out then you'd be better off just picking random objects from your house.*


5.)* If your favorite book is The Secret, then do us all a favor and don't mention it.


6.)* Saying you like hiking is code for "I haven't left the apartment in 3 years but if push comes to shove any moron can put on a pair of boots and walk down a trail".

Hey Coldfusion you have a great sense of humor... I like the sarcasm! However, it saddens me to have to point out that women Do Not have the market on such subjects in their profiles. I have had so many men list water, air, food, money, job, sun, beer, kids, blah, blah, blah as things they can't live without. No S H I T. Wanna talk about originality. I especially liked the one who included beer. At least he was thinking. Wrt color, I keep hearing men are visual... I guess flesh tones are the only colors you're really interested in? Okay... let's talk about laughing and having fun. How about the number of profiles I've gotten that mention liking to joke around, laugh, go to live comedy, laugh, play practical jokes, laugh, tickle, laugh, play roshambo, laugh, etc. Get the picture here? Honestly, how can you complain about women adding laughing to their profiles? Besides, laughing is one of the healthiest things you can do if you're inclined to "sitting in the dark crying...." Trust me, mentioning our dogs is tame (no pun intended) compared to the profile I received where the man mentioned his 2 yo son in every section. His profile was about his son, not him! I agree, once or twice is enough. Again, women don't have the corner on this! As for books and activities... I can go toe to toe with you on these topics as well. I especially like the one you guys add under activities... like to entertain. I don't consider popcorn, beer, chips, cheese, crackers, 7 layer dip, soda, mixed drinks, and "the game" as an "entertaining" event that you've hosted. I think it's just hysterical how you're gunning after us women and our profiles when you guys are guilty as H E L L for the same :-]. And, personally, I think the stuff you're complaining about makes it easier to sort through the profiles to determine the keeps and the closes. Only... come up with something better than air, water, food, etc. Sex, beer, bong, flat screen with remote, and waterbed would be a good start at something more original.

I think he singles out women because he is only receiving profiles from women.* How would he know what men put on their profiles?*

What's wrong with beer, chips and 7 layer dip as my favorites?* [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-laughing.gif[/img]