Profile review please *ducking*

OK, so I joined eH a little less than a month ago and have lurked a little on these boards to see what's what, so I know I'm going to be canned for my lists and my insistence on talking about friends and children. I took the decision that I wanted to pack in real info. and try to give a flavor of who I am. I've had a good experience so far and met a couple of nice people. I welcome feedback on the profile, caustic or otherwise.

Woman 44

The one thing I am most passionate about: I have more than one passion, don't you? I can be serious when it's merited, but I love to see the funny side. I'm nuts about hot yoga, enjoy my job immensely, care deeply about social justice. I have amazing friends, and I love them dearly. My funny, wise, compassionate teenage daughters rock my world. Oh, and I'm hopelessly in love with the natural world. As Elizabeth Bennett said, "What are men to rocks and mountains?"
The question isn't asking you to list all your passions. Passion for everything = passion for nothing. I have no idea what's important to you out of this list.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: I find compassion, intelligence, connection, integrity and a sense of humor in many of the people I love. To save us both time, please close this match if you like to shoot small furry animals, go on long rants about the president's birth certificate, think global warming is a scam, are looking for something from Stepford, need to know whether I'm saved, don't like to laugh, or would be offended by my PEACE bumper sticker or English accent. I wish you great joy on your dating journey. If you haven't already stalked off in outrage, let's swap questions.
Even people who share your views might be put off by the attitude here; your match might have friends with these views, and no way could he ever introduce you to them if you're gonna act like this. I would close you at this point.

Basic Information

Occupation: College instructor Age 44 Height 5' 8" Wants Kids: No Kids at Home: Yes
Ethnicity White, non-Hispanic Religion: Spiritual, but not religious Drinks: Several times a week Smokes: Never

In my own words

The most influential person in my life has been:

I can't name just one. There have been a lot of important people in my life. Many are friends; some are people I know only through my reading. Inspiration is everywhere... (Some heroes of mine: Thich Nhat Hanh, Rosa Parks, Gandhi, my mum, Nelson Mandela, Brother Lawrence, Jon Stewart, Eddie Izzard.)
"Nobody has stood out as particularly influential."

The three things which I am most thankful for:

• I can only have three?
• The people I love.
• The natural world, my work, books, hot yoga, laughter, great conversation ...and the ability to count past three.
• Again, snooty

Three of my best life-skills are:

• Finding creative solutions to everyday problems
• Using humor to make friends laugh
• Maintaining a network of close friends

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

No idea. Here's a quote I love: "One regret, dear world, that I am determined not to have when I am lying on my deathbed is that I did not kiss you enough." (Hafiz) Here's another: "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." (Oscar Wilde) And finally: "Be kind whenever possible--it is always possible." (Dalai Lama)
It's a weird question and you do something creative with it - nothing wrong with that.

The things I can't live without are:

• The people I love
• Sky and water and green spaces
• Hugs and laughter
• Hot yoga--are you sensing a theme here?
• Blackberry, GPS, Books, NPR
• Good enough.

The first thing people notice about me:

My English accent. I've lived here 8 years, and I have a US passport, but I still get: "You're not from around here, are you?" at least once a day.
People hear you before they see you?

Some additional information I want you to know:

Honest communication is a big deal to me. I respect and welcome difference. I will probably make you laugh. I love talking and listening, but I also love silence and wonder why people don’t enjoy more of it together. Those gaps in the conversation? They're OK with me. I like adventure and challenge. I can admit when I'm wrong. Finally--and this is important, so listen up!--I like salt on my French toast, lots and lots of salt, and I am bewildered that you 'Mercans put powdered sugar or maple syrup on it. Explain that to me sometime...
Based on what you've said above, I doubt you really respect and welcome difference.

My interests

I typically spend my leisure time:

I love spending time with friends but also enjoy my own company. Hot yoga classes are a new passion since last summer. I swim a lot--in a pool when I must but preferably in lakes or the ocean. I read a lot, think a lot, laugh a lot. I love camping and walking. With friends, I enjoy great conversation, decent (!!) beer or a glass of wine, a movie or play, non-chain restaurants or pubs.
Good.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

I frequently read several books at once. I'm currently reading The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (recommended by a friend) and What Makes you Not a Buddhist (Christmas present from my elder daughter). A recent read that wowed me was Kazuo Ishiguro's Never Let Me Go. Novels so often tell stories about how people escape from bad situations, chase their ideals, end up living happily ever after. By contrast, Ishiguro looks for the reasons so many people don't move on, even when they feel that inner tug towards their dreams. I love Ishiguro for his insight into the human condition.
Unnecessarily long.

According to my friends:

My friends describe me as:

• Funny
• Creative
• Genuine
• Intelligent

The one thing I am most passionate about: I have more than one passion, don't you? I can be serious when it's merited, but I love to see the funny side. I'm nuts about hot yoga, enjoy my job immensely, care deeply about social justice. I have amazing friends, and I love them dearly. My funny, wise, compassionate teenage daughters rock my world. Oh, and I'm hopelessly in love with the natural world. As Elizabeth Bennett said, "What are men to rocks and mountains?"


This is hopeless - it's a long, rambling list, and it says nothing about you. I strongly suggest you rewrite this from the ground up so that it expressed the significant point which makes you unique. Some of these other (non unique) attributes can be relocated elsewhere.

I find "most passionate" answers are best when they create a favorable mental image in my mind of how we would be as a couple, due to your passion.

Given the theme you have in this profile, "compassion" might be your best answer here. (I personally prefer it to be occupationally-focused, and your occupation affords a good opportunity too.)


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: I find compassion, intelligence, connection, integrity and a sense of humor in many of the people I love. To save us both time, please close this match if you like to shoot small furry animals, go on long rants about the president's birth certificate, think global warming is a scam, are looking for something from Stepford, need to know whether I'm saved, don't like to laugh, or would be offended by my PEACE bumper sticker or English accent. I wish you great joy on your dating journey. If you haven't already stalked off in outrage, let's swap questions.


Sounding negative, bitter, narrow-minded, or full of baggage is a bad idea. in general, I'm probably okay with these values myself, but this is too harse phrasing.

Militant vegatarianism is a problematic point of incompatibility for me (and if you are anti-hunting but not a vegatarian, then you're likely a hypocrit - and that's a deal-breaker for intelluctual weakness.) Although we could argue the distinction between sport hunting and eating the felled game, this is still too negative. (It's a shame, since you might well be fun to speak with.)


Basic Information
Occupation: College instructor
Age 44
Height 5' 8"
Wants Kids: No
Kids at Home: Yes
Ethnicity White, non-Hispanic
Religion: Spiritual, but not religious Drinks: Several times a week
Smokes: Never


I'd prefer to see a more-specific occupation - such as what subjects you teach, or something giving greater clarity in your stature in your career. (This is important in a caeer whch often imposed geographic constraints.)


The most influential person in my life has been: I can't name just one. There have been a lot of important people in my life. Many are friends; some are people I know only through my reading. Inspiration is everywhere... (Some heroes of mine: Thich Nhat Hanh, Rosa Parks, Gandhi, my mum, Nelson Mandela, Brother Lawrence, Jon Stewart, Eddie Izzard.)


Is "I can't answer the question" an acceptable answer when a student turns in the test? I doubt it. I'd pick a person and use that to tell a story or create an imagary in your matches' minds that is appealing as a romantic partner.

Although I find this question unimportant in most cases, I prefer to see people who have a sense that they control their own values, rather than having fealty to others; this list creates a sense of the latter (not for who they are, but for being a list of people you probably haven't even met.) Better to pick someone you actually had interaction with.


The three things which I am most thankful for:

• I can only have three?
• The people I love.
• The natural world, my work, books, hot yoga, laughter, great conversation ...and the ability to count past three.

Perhaps you will get likely and someone will find this funny. It isn't working for me - really, there may be more than three, but there are three "most."



Three of my best life-skills are:

• Finding creative solutions to everyday problems
• Using humor to make friends laugh
• Maintaining a network of close friends

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:
No idea. Here's a quote I love: "One regret, dear world, that I am determined not to have when I am lying on my deathbed is that I did not kiss you enough." (Hafiz) Here's another: "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." (Oscar Wilde) And finally: "Be kind whenever possible--it is always possible." (Dalai Lama)


Skipping the question (not answering the question as asked counts as skipping) is risky, but this is okay for me. People who go on about how (they claim) they are misjudged are often whining - and wrong.


The things I can't live without are:

• The people I love
• Sky and water and green spaces
• Hugs and laughter
• Hot yoga--are you sensing a theme here?
• Blackberry, GPS, Books, NPR

The first thing people notice about me:
My English accent. I've lived here 8 years, and I have a US passport, but I still get: "You're not from around here, are you?" at least once a day.


Some matches may not understand your citizenship or work-rights status, so more explanation of what this means may be worthwhile. I am fine with this, personally.


Some additional information I want you to know:
Honest communication is a big deal to me. I respect and welcome difference. I will probably make you laugh. I love talking and listening, but I also love silence and wonder why people don’t enjoy more of it together. Those gaps in the conversation? They're OK with me. I like adventure and challenge. I can admit when I'm wrong. Finally--and this is important, so listen up!--I like salt on my French toast, lots and lots of salt, and I am bewildered that you 'Mercans put powdered sugar or maple syrup on it. Explain that to me sometime...


I am fine with how you wrote this, but in general looking for "honesty" usually sounds like baggage (good people are customarily honest, and good people are capable of attracting other good people.)

Claiming to have a sense of humor while not writing anything funny is a tiresome problem which sinks many profiles. Again, I'm okay this time, but I suggest keeping these points in mind.


I typically spend my leisure time:
I love spending time with friends but also enjoy my own company. Hot yoga classes are a new passion since last summer. I swim a lot--in a pool when I must but preferably in lakes or the ocean. I read a lot, think a lot, laugh a lot. I love camping and walking. With friends, I enjoy great conversation, decent (!!) beer or a glass of wine, a movie or play, non-chain restaurants or pubs.

The last book I read and enjoyed:
I frequently read several books at once. I'm currently reading The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (recommended by a friend) and What Makes you Not a Buddhist (Christmas present from my elder daughter). A recent read that wowed me was Kazuo Ishiguro's Never Let Me Go. Novels so often tell stories about how people escape from bad situations, chase their ideals, end up living happily ever after. By contrast, Ishiguro looks for the reasons so many people don't move on, even when they feel that inner tug towards their dreams. I love Ishiguro for his insight into the human condition.


My friends describe me as:

• Funny
• Creative
• Genuine
• Intelligent

The second section, you come across as highly judgmental. No man with a diverse group of friends would want to include you in his circle based on statements like that. Later you say you "respect and welcome difference," I had to chuckle at that one. You might actually be very open-minded and welcoming of different viewpoints, but that doesn't come across in your profile.