texasstar is offline texasstar Post #1  January 7,2011, 6:54pm
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needs to learn how to sell herself...no, not like that!

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Maybe I'm just being impatient, but I just haven't been getting many communication requests. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

My profile:
The one thing I am most passionate about: I'm passionate about keeping my life interesting & fulfilling. Right now that includes: putting my SCUBA certification to use (a dive buddy would be fabulous), learning more Russian, training for the MS150 (this will be my 4th time to participate), volunteering my time to help put an end to child abuse, and tapping back into my theatrical & musical side after a long break.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: I'm looking for a man who is also a giver. I can't recall where I read it, nor can I remember the exact quote, but the gist was - 2 givers can keep each other happy, whereas a "taker + giver" or "taker + taker" won't work for long as both parties will eventually grow resentful.

Basic Information

Occupation: Office Manager for an environmental consulting firm Age 36 Height 5' 2" Wants Kids: Yes Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity Hispanic or Latino Religion: Spiritual, but not religious Drinks: About once a week Smokes: Never
The most influential person in my life has been:

My nephew. I helped raise him, and in doing so became a more selfless person.

The three things which I am most thankful for:
  • being a Texan
  • my amazing father - he's a shining example of an imperfect, but incredibly kind man.
  • Italian food - it's my kryptonite, but it's oh-so-good!

Three of my best life-skills are:
  • Using humor to make friends laugh
  • Communicating my innermost thoughts and feelings
  • Continuing to expand my knowledge and awareness

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

Nice doesn't mean boring. I have an adventurous streak that few people get to see.

The things I can't live without are:
  • Mojo & Armstrong - my pups
  • Books
  • Netflix & Hulu for streaming movies/shows
  • orange juice (a.k.a. "liquid sunshine")
  • my bike

The first thing people notice about me:

I'm not sure... I'll make sure to ask the next person I meet

Some additional information I want you to know:

I'm a little clumsy. Here's hoping you'll find that rather charming...


I typically spend my leisure time:

working out with a trainer friend and his wife a minimum of 4x a week (this includes gym time & cycling), reading a lot, and my pup and I walk in the park as often as possible.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

The Golden Apples of the Sun by Ray Bradbury- it's my favorite short story collection. I love to read just about anything I can get my hands on!

My friends describe me as:
  • Funny
  • Easy-Going
  • Sweet
  • Intelligent
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #2  January 7,2011, 7:07pm
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This is overall much better than average.

You have enjoyable, unusual detail in many of your answers. Even some things I am not a fan of, are well-written and creatively or uniquely stated.

You essentially skipped the "first thing people notice" ... but that's not a useful question, and the profile is overall sufficient that I would not care.

Being 36 and wanting kids is problematic. I think something to expand on this would make sense.

I close anyone with a "can't live without" of dogs. (Personal choice, but I don't like seeing fluff in these fields.)

This may be unfair (and would be mooted by your photos), but the narrative sounds overweight to me. How exercise / gym / sports is phrased is critical. I would close for that, too.

I would like to see something about career goals - there is nothing in this profile stating enjoyment of your career, or motivation. That is important to me.
 
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Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #3  January 7,2011, 7:13pm
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Hi TexasStar!

I'd change this:

"I'm looking for a man who is also a giver. I can't recall where I read it, nor can I remember the exact quote, but the gist was - 2 givers can keep each other happy, whereas a "taker + giver" or "taker + taker" won't work for long as both parties will eventually grow resentful. "

To something like this:

I'm looking for a man who is also a giver like myself. As the wise man once said, "Two givers can keep each other happy, whereas a taker and a giver, or a taker and a taker won't work." I've got a lot to give, what about you?
 
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melman is offline melman Post #4  January 7,2011, 7:13pm
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You've edited your eHA profile so we can't see your previous posts. Why?

I'm pretty sure we've reviewed your profile before. I remember your "what I'm looking for" answer - givers and takers, and takers and givers - maybe that was a discussion topic on Oprah, but honestly I can't be bothered to care about it.

I imagine your passion answer is chasing off anyone who isn't a scuba diver. It comes on a bit strong. The entire answer is a bit too rambling, it goes in too many directions. Try focusing on ONE item (like the question asks), and moving the rest into your "leisure time" or "additional info".

You've evaded the "first thing people notice" question. Non-answers are bad.
 
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texasstar is offline texasstar Post #5  January 7,2011, 7:24pm
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needs to learn how to sell herself...no, not like that!

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@melman - you have reviewed my profile before, but the part you mentioned was just added to my profile. Pretty sure it wasn't on Oprah since I don't watch the show, but thanks for the advice.

@Sparkles56 - Thank you! I'll do that.

@D_Lion - Thank you. I know the part about children will scare away a lot of potential suitors, but so be it. I definitely would like to have one or two. As for the overweight part, I was. Due to the hard training, I'm not anymore. I can still stand to lose some weight, but I'm "average" (I do realize this is completely subjective, btw). I'll rephrase it
 
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Fledgling is offline Fledgling Post #6  January 7,2011, 8:11pm
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Hi, all!

texasstar: interesting profile--it sounds like you have a lot going on, which is a very good thing! I wonder if it might be even more effective if you divided the interests you mention in your answer to the first question (which might come off as just a bit much as is) and addressed them individually in later questions so you could elaborate more on some of them.

As far as "scaring off" matches by stating that you want kids at the problematic age of 36 (I'm 36, too ) goes, I'm not sure that's an issue. I think matches who don't want them and/or don't want to meet women your age will have pre-screened themselves out with their own settings.

D_Lion: I'm curious, partly since I'm in the same boat--why/how should one expand on wanting kids in one's mid-thirties?

Also, I'm really at a loss as to how her narrative "sounds overweight." What do you think might make it less so?
 
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texasstar is offline texasstar Post #7  January 7,2011, 8:50pm
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needs to learn how to sell herself...no, not like that!

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Thanks, @Fledgling! I moved some of the activities down to my leisure time.
 
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dmi is online now dmi Post #8  January 7,2011, 9:30pm
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Fledgling wrote :
I'm curious, partly since I'm in the same boat--why/how should one expand on wanting kids in one's mid-thirties?
I don't think there's any right/wrong way to go about it. Just that at 36, there's not much time to be a couple before being parents. Some of the guys looking to become parents might screen you out.

Fledgling wrote :
Also, I'm really at a loss as to how her narrative "sounds overweight." What do you think might make it less so?
There's a perception that anyone who expands on their workout routine is a gym rat, fat, or used to be fat. Most cases, it's none of the above. But, with all the matches you have to sort thru, you can get eliminated for the silliest possible reasons.

You want to mention that you work out almost in passing. Something like:
I typically spend my leisure time:
working out, reading a lot, and my pup and I walk in the park as often as possible.


To the OP, I like your profile. A couple little things already mentioned might improve it. But, it is better than 95% of the profiles I see. Just gotta give it some time.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #9  January 8,2011, 6:11am
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Regarding children: In a young person, I don't mind seeing a recreational or leisure activity-focused profile.

Once a person is at an age where they will, realistically, need to be making the decision to have a child soon, I prefer to see the tone of the profile be relatively more mature.

I also prefer to see clear evidence of the necessary resources and competancies. In one's 30's I expect a person to comfortably afford family-size housing, and to be able to provide for a family while remaiming financially secure and still able to afford their tastes.

Another way to influence this is to have a more family centered life indicated or alluded to. For instance, if you have photos of yourself and five friends at happy hour (common), replace some of those with some taken at family events.

Your nephew is good to have included. You like italian food; I would expand on that in a way that creates some home-centered imagery.

It's not about "scaring off matches": it's about the limited biological capacity window, and the typical duration and sequencing of a new relationship.

Especially if you take a fairly common scenario of a year of "dating" and "being in a relationship," followed by cohabiting, then a marriage / wedding ... and three years after having met they still can't afford a house in a community with acceptable schools.

I am 38, and if I wanted children I would be expecting mid-30's partners to not be thus constrained. (Not saying you are, but that's a primary point I'd be seeking to investigate promptly.)
 
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Fledgling is offline Fledgling Post #10  January 8,2011, 6:57am
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Thanks, D_Lion and dmi. Definitely some stuff to think about when I revisit my own profile.
 
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