profile review, female, 59

Topic Tools

Search this Thread

boomer_gal Post #1 January 6,2011, 9:27pm

lives where there are rainbows

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2010

Honolulu

Posts: 2,520

See profile

 Hi, I think I could use some feedback on my profile. I'm not getting much in the way of responses to my matches. Heck, I'm not getting ANY responses to my matches!

What I am passionate about:It is really important to me that I live my life in a way that makes a difference to people, whether that is my two adult children, the patients that I work with, or the families in the non profit that I volunteer with. I don't care a whole lot about material possessions, but relationships mean a great deal to me.

Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
    Probably my adult son. He went through an extremely difficult period where it really looked like he was headed in a direction that would wreck his life. He totally turned himself around. He has become an incredibly open person who as grown in so many ways. He challenges me to re-think my assumptions about things & I have really grown by responding to this challenge.

 What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
    I would like to be involved with someone who is kind, affectionate, tolerant of other viewpoints, willing to put some effort into making a relationship work and interested in getting out into the world & experiencing life. OK, that's way more than one thing...

 Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?    That I am not afraid to say what I think.

 What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?   That I have non-conformist tendencies.

 What are five things that you "can't live without?" 
books
music
my PC
friends
family

 Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?  I'm almost done with The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo & have really been enjoying it. It is set in Sweden, a country I know little about. The characters are intriguing & even though I'm almost pau, I haven't figured out "whodunnit".

 Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
    I am interested in so many different things. Chances are we've got something in common. Although my hope is to eventually have a long term relationship, I'm in no big hurry to get serious. Mostly, I want to enjoy the journey. Although, who knows, maybe with just the right person, I might feel differently about that?

Last edited by boomer_gal; January 6,2011 at 10:44pm. Reason: added info left out 1st time

Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2 January 6,2011, 10:23pm

Your Community Coordinator

Moderator

Joined: Oct 2009

San Pedro, CA

Posts: 9,085

See profile

Hi boomer_gal -- You're missing the "passionate about" section here, which is the first thing matches see so is important. You should paste it in here so it can be part of the review.

It's generally good; it's not cookie cutter at all which is great. There are a couple things I've commented on. Good luck on EH!

boomer_gal wrote :

 Hi, I think I could use some feedback on my profile. I'm not getting much in the way of responses to my matches. Heck, I'm not getting ANY responses to my matches!

Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?
    Probably my adult son. He went through an extremely difficult period where it really looked like he was headed in a direction that would wreck his life. He totally turned himself around. He has become an incredibly open person who as grown in so many ways. He challenges me to re-think my assumptions about things & I have really grown by responding to this challenge. This is interesting but it's mostly about your son, rather than about you -- the only thing about you is vague: that you have grown. That doesn't really convey much to the reader about you. Reword it to briefly mention your son but then focus on how you have responded.

 What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?
    I would like to be involved with someone who is kind, affectionate, tolerant of other viewpoints, willing to put some effort into making a relationship work and interested in getting out into the world & experiencing life. OK, that's way more than one thing... nice answer

 Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?    That I am not afraid to say what I think. also good answer

 What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?   That I have non-conformist tendencies. This could give me pause, on a stranger's profile, because it can mean a whoooooole range of things, some of which might horrify me! Perhaps be more specific.

 What are five things that you "can't live without?" 
books
music
my PC
friends
family

 Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?  I'm almost done with The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo & have really been enjoying it. It is set in Sweden, a country I know little about. The characters are intriguing & even though I'm almost pau what is "pau"?, I haven't figured out "whodunnit".

 Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?
    I am interested in so many different things. Chances are we've got something in common. Although my hope is to eventually have a long term relationship, I'm in no big hurry to get serious. Mostly, I want to enjoy the journey. Although, who knows, maybe with just the right person, I might feel differently about that?

boomer_gal Post #3 January 6,2011, 10:43pm

lives where there are rainbows

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2010

Honolulu

Posts: 2,520

See profile

Thanks, Sassafras, I made changes based on your suggestions.

I live in Hawaii & am not really considering matches from the mainland, so I don't think I need to clarify that pau means finished or done. Anybody here will know what it means. There are a few other "localisms" that I have thrown in, but my target audience will get them.

What I am passionate about:
It is really important to me that I live my life in a way that makes a difference to people, whether that is my two adult children, the patients that I work with, or the families in the non profit that I volunteer with. I don't care a whole lot about material possessions, but relationships mean a great deal to me.

Who had the biggest impact on my life:
My adult son has really had a profound influence on my life. As an adolescent, he was heading down the wrong road & I really worried that he was going to mess his life up in ways that couldn't be repaired. I hung in there with him, but have to say that he was responsible for turning things around. He is now an amazing young man who encourages me to challenge myself and grow as a person. He has helped me re-examine my preconceived notions about myself & the world. As a result, I am much more willing to try new things & live with more confidence in myself & less fear.

What I wish people would notice about me:
That I have non-conformist tendencies. What do I mean by this? Hmm... I am a child of the 60s & somewhere inside there lurks that college girl who wore a peace sign & marched against the war. I prefer oatmeal raisin cookies to chocolate chip (though I won't turn down the chocolate chip if offered). I think my poi dog is just as good as any AKC purebred. Maui may be no ka oi, but I'll take Kauai any day. I can put on make up when the situation requires, but I'll always be a bit of a tomboy at heart.

I also tweaked what I can't live without:

What are five things that you "can't live without?"

books - Paper of Kindle
music - to listen to or sing
my PC - keeps me in touch with the world
the people I love - friends & family
the great cuisines here in Hawaii - ''nuff said!

What do you think?

Last edited by boomer_gal; January 7,2011 at 12:07am.

OlderButWiser0549 Post #4 January 7,2011, 5:34am

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2010

Delaware County, PA

Posts: 7,227

See profile

Great profile!

The only thing I'd change would be to delete "OK, that's way more than one thing..." from the section on "most important quality." It isn't necessary.

I know not everyone shares my preference, but the more a woman says about herself in her profile the more attraction I feel, and yours is a good example of a profile I'd find interesting.

(All except for the 5,625 mile distance between us, of course; Google Maps gives driving directions between Philly and Honolulu and the "Kayak across Pacific Ocean" part was a deal breaker for me. Pity...)

melman Post #5 January 7,2011, 5:42am

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2009

Posts: 2,944

See profile

boomer_gal wrote :

What I am passionate about:
It is really important to me that I live my life in a way that makes a difference to people, whether that is my two adult children, the patients that I work with, or the families in the non profit that I volunteer with. I don't care a whole lot about material possessions, but relationships mean a great deal to me.

This is arguably the most important question in the profile, since it is the first one that the reader will see. It should focus on ONE THING (like the question asks) that you might say "defines" who you are. That one thing that your best friend would be sure to mention, if he/she was describing you to someone. It should cause the reader to think "hey, here is someone I need to meet" and to read the rest of the profile with real interest.

Your answer doesn't really do any of that. It throws several things out there (you work with patients, you volunteer with a non-profit) that are not explained any further. So are these real passions, or not? Not caring about material possessions, is probably not something that belongs in a profile. Most readers will wonder what caused you to write that. I suggest you take one of (you work with patients, you volunteer with a non-profit) and focus on that, and write 2 or 3 sentences explaining it in more depth. And drop the rest.

tweet37 Post #6 January 7,2011, 6:22am

has all the tools and can........satisfy

Power Poster

Joined: Sep 2008

New Jersey

Posts: 7,608

See profile

melman wrote :

This is arguably the most important question in the profile, since it is the first one that the reader will see. It should focus on ONE THING (like the question asks)....

melman, this is a bit off topic but it was mentioned a while ago and maybe you missed it.

When setting up one's profile, eH asks 'What are you passionate about?' But when you complete all that, the heading on your profile says 'The one thing that ______ is most passionate about', hence the difference in a lot of profile answers posted.

But I agree that this section should include something that would accent an attribute that would pique one's interest further.

boomer_gal Post #7 January 7,2011, 7:44pm

lives where there are rainbows

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2010

Honolulu

Posts: 2,520

See profile

OlderButWiser0549 wrote :

Great profile!

yours is a good example of a profile I'd find interesting.

(All except for the 5,625 mile distance between us, of course; Google Maps gives driving directions between Philly and Honolulu and the "Kayak across Pacific Ocean" part was a deal breaker for me. Pity...)

Thanks for the kind words, they are encouraging. I do have a kayak, but you're right, that 5,625 miles is a bit of a deal breaker!

boomer_gal Post #8 January 7,2011, 7:47pm

lives where there are rainbows

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2010

Honolulu

Posts: 2,520

See profile

melman wrote :

Your answer doesn't really do any of that. It throws several things out there (you work with patients, you volunteer with a non-profit) that are not explained any further. So are these real passions, or not? Not caring about material possessions, is probably not something that belongs in a profile. Most readers will wonder what caused you to write that. I suggest you take one of (you work with patients, you volunteer with a non-profit) and focus on that, and write 2 or 3 sentences explaining it in more depth. And drop the rest.

I think what I was trying to focus on was my passion to make a difference in peoples' lives & using the above as examples. The part about material possessions was making a contrast between what I am and am not passionate about. Guess it didn't work as well as I had hoped. Will ponder...

Last edited by boomer_gal; January 7,2011 at 7:47pm. Reason: typo

boomer_gal Post #9 January 7,2011, 7:49pm

lives where there are rainbows

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2010

Honolulu

Posts: 2,520

See profile

tweet37 wrote :

But I agree that this section should include something that would accent an attribute that would pique one's interest further.

Now if I could only figure out what that is! Thanks for the feedback.

boomer_gal Post #10 January 8,2011, 2:32pm

lives where there are rainbows

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2010

Honolulu

Posts: 2,520

See profile

So I'm trying this "what are you passionate about?" on for size - what do you think? Is it better than the first one? I read the poll where it said guys didn't much care about volunteering, but it is what I am passionate about.

It's hard to pin down to one singular thing, so I will respond by saying that I want my life to make a difference. I want to know that I have had a positive impact on the people whose lives I touch. Although my life has not been free from difficulty, I am very blessed to have great adult kids, good health, a job I love, and a home. So it is important to me to give back. One of the ways I do this is by working with a program that helps transition homeless families into housing. Hearing their stories, and seeing the smiles on their faces when they are greeted with a good meal and a safe place to sleep gives me a great feeling.

« do i need to ask 5 questions if we already broke the ice | Using eHarmony | Poor grammar "must have/can't stand" »

Topic Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts	BB code is On Smilies are On [IMG] code is On HTML code is On Trackbacks are On Pingbacks are On Refbacks are Off
Boards Rules

Topic	Topic Starter	Board	Replies	Last Post
Similar Topics
Profile review please - Female, 31	knack100	Using eHarmony	10	May 17,2011 4:10pm
Profile Review (24 year old female)	katniss_everdeen	Using eHarmony	3	May 16,2011 7:56pm
Profile Review: Five months of failure, please help!	Larch	Using eHarmony	29	February 1,2011 10:56am
profile review please female (49)	purplepassion4ev	Using eHarmony	2	December 1,2010 5:11am
Profile review, 22 year old female	msb4464	Using eHarmony	7	November 28,2010 7:25pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:

seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:

Must be at least 5 characters

How did you hear about us?

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

Topic • Category	Views	Posts
She stared at my feet. Is this normal? • Dating	0	39
Exit interview after unsuccessful date • Dating	0	4
Should I ever date in college? • Dating	0	21
Did he poof? • Dating	0	19
Match from another country...is he a "fraud"? • Dating	0	41
Comment to win a FREE month of eHarmony! • Dating	0	19
It's a matter of fit • Dating	0	9
53340 more topics in our discussion boards. Join the conversation!

“ Where's the other boot?” – Breezy1

Join the “She stared at my feet. Is this normal?” discussion

“Exit interviews are highly recommended in many dating books and in other life strategy books. They are very effective. I think he would answer honestly to the some point. I know that is horrible and ... ” – biking_girl

Join the “Exit interview after unsuccessful date” discussion

“And I'd also add that while a successful stable job down the road and a solid income is helpful in attracting a woman, it's no guarantee that finding love will be easy for you. I know plenty of men ... ” – boschimsp

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“I think if someone says they can't meet you for weeks, they are lukewarm interested. Even if he were truly busy with a project, he'd be able to drop you an email or a text here and there. I took ... ” – Carole1520

Join the “Did he poof?” discussion

“ Yes, illegal aliens aren't treated as illegals. lol OP, trust your gut. A few months ago, I met a guy on match, who said his membership was expiring, and gave me his IM so we could chat. I ... ” – Carole1520

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“Stop humping my leg.” – Breezy1

Join the “Comment to win a FREE month of eHarmony!” discussion

“I thought this thread was about exercise. Positive OP though...nice to see.” – Breezy1

Join the “It's a matter of fit” discussion

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:30pm.

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:

seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:

Must be at least 5 characters

How did you hear about us?

Featured Groups

20ish and proud to be...

20ish and proud to be...
Creative Writing!

Creative Writing!: Creative writing, for people who love to write. Poetry, short stories, fiction, non-fiction, talk, chat, network, etc. Do you journal? What's your favorite book? Come on in and take it easy.

These Readers Want Your Advice!

"No head, no shirt, no service!"
"Picture of his dead wife in the bedroom"
"The lost art of conversation..."

Connect with Advice Members

cal_dude

Interests: Beach, Hanging Out With Friends, Board Games, Cooking, Home Improvement, People Watching, Reading/Writing, and more... View profile
Ephemera

"Interests: Carving Out Niches For Myself With Power Tools" View profile

profile review, female, 59

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Related Articles

Featured Groups

20ish and proud to be...

Creative Writing!

These Readers Want Your Advice!

Connect with Advice Members

cal_dude

Ephemera

Dating Advice

Off Topic