Profile Review: REVISED 35 yo Male


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Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #1  January 3,2011, 3:31pm
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One thing I am most passionate about:

Exploring the world around me! Whether it's hiking on some new and exciting trails with my dogs, or exploring some mysterious old buildings in an area to understand their history and charm - I love exploring, finding new things, and sharing those thoughts, feelings, and experiences with that special someone.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:

Honesty, integrity, and openness. These traits are vital when you are looking for someone with whom to spend the rest of your life. Additionally, I am attracted to educated, independent women who are wicked smart and not afraid to show it! I know exactly what I want out of life and love. If you do as well it'd be great to hear from you!

The most influential person in my life has been:

My late wife. Over the course of 9 years, she helped me gain the strength and confidence that are a big part of who I am today.

The three things I'm most thankful for:

My level head. A buddy of mine (who was stationed in Iraq for the USAF) once called me a 'rock'... the point being that I can handle whatever life throws my way with stability and class.
My out-of-the box thinking style and the fact that I tend to do what's “right” instead of what's “popular”.
My employment. I recently got to pick from the “10 year anniversary” gift catalog at work!

Three of my best life skills:

Remaining calm yet resilient during a crisis
Maintaining a network of close friends
Finding new adventures and unique experiences

The one thing I wish more people would notice about me:

I am very versatile – a jack of all trades, master of some. When it comes right down to it, everything in life is a giant puzzle. Many kinds of problems - like figuring out why the car won't start, finding a leak in the roof, deciphering the best terms for a mortgage refinance, or pondering the psychological motives behind the pontifications of peculiar politicians – can all be abstracted into a set of rules, a riddle. I am good at finding these rules – figuring out how things work – and then, in practical applications, fixing the problems that I find.

The things I can't live without are:

Good music of all kinds, from Bach concertos to the classic rock of AC/DC.
My Siberian Huskies. One of these days I'm going to train them to pull me to work!
The friends and family that provide entertainment and support in my life.
The calm country atmosphere: absolute quiet and a billion stars in the sky are the perfect prelude to a romantic evening.
Coffee - organic, bold, & black!

The first thing people notice about me:

I am very interactive. Whether I'm hanging out with a group of friends or having dinner with a single companion, I enjoy listening with a contemplative ear and engaging the conversation fully.

Some additional information I want you to know:

The fact that I selected 'Yes' for 'Wants kids' means that yes, I do indeed want kids. As a practical matter - I live near a lake in XXX location but work in YYY location three days a week, so I'm open to meeting people in either place. I did select "doesn't smoke". However, I do enjoy an occasional cigar, but never indoors.

I typically spend my leisure time:

I can often be found laughing with my friends at the local wine bar as I savor the complex flavor of a smooth pinot noir. Other nights, my dogs and I enjoy a good run around the block. When I'm not out with friends or dogs, my nephews make life exciting – either by providing an opportunity for me to act as a strong male role model (for the older ones) or by enjoying some good kid roughhousing fun with Uncle Sparkles (for the younger ones). You might even occasionally catch me at a shooting range. When I'm not out, I enjoy relaxing while I stretch my mind with a good book.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

I'm currently reading a few. My current favorite nonfiction is "I Am A Strange Loop" by Douglas Hofsteadter. This book brings together many different areas of subject matter with a common thread as Hofsteadter attempts to reconcile his theories of consciousness and spirituality. My favorite fiction is currently Robert Heinlein's "Beyond These Horizons". I admire Heinlein's fiction because he tends to portray societies with a good balance between personal responsibility and cooperation.
Last edited by Sparkles56; January 4,2011 at 10:43am.
 
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karajoyfull is offline karajoyfull Post #2  January 3,2011, 5:37pm
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Sparkles, your profile is excellent! I read the original draft and you've done a great job with your revisions. I'll mention just a couple of things that came to mind for me.

Sparkles56 wrote :
The most influential person in my life has been:

My late wife. Over the course of 9 years, she helped me gain the strength and confidence that are a big part of who I am today.
I know you were debating; I'm glad you decided to include this. You might consider a follow up statement that suggests you're ready for a new relationship (e.g., She also taught me how to love well, something that I certainly carry with me as I explore new relationships).

Sparkles56 wrote :
The three things I'm most thankful for:

My level head. A buddy of mine (who was stationed in Iraq for the USAF) once called me a 'rock'... the point being that I can handle whatever life throws my way with stability and class.
My out-of-the box thinking style and the fact that I tend to do what's “right” instead of what's “popular”.
My employment. I recently got to pick from the “10 year anniversary” gift catalog at work!
These are well written, but it's a slight turn off to me that 2/3 things you're most thankful for are yourself If you were to replace one, I'd recommend the second one as you talk about your thinking style a bit when mentioning your versatility.

Sparkles56 wrote :
The one thing I wish more people would notice about me:

I am very versatile – a jack of all trades, master of some. When it comes right down to it, everything in life is a giant puzzle. Many kinds of problems - like figuring out why the car won't start, finding a leak in the roof, deciphering the best terms for a mortgage refinance, or pondering the psychological motives behind the pontifications of peculiar politicians – can all be abstracted into a set of rules, a riddle. I am good at finding these rules – figuring out how things work – and then, in practical applications, fixing the problems that I find.
This is actually reading a bit like a riddle to me and I'm wicked smart Perhaps too much alliteration? I'd recommend at least simplifying to two examples (e.g., everything from figuring out from why the car won't start to .... )

Loved the things you can't live without and leisure time sections in particular. Overall, it's extremely well written...more so than any match I've received.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #3  January 3,2011, 6:34pm
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.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

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You know I'm your biggest fan. But even trying to be objective...I just can't find anything to object to.

The passions...make me want to take a hike with those dogs.

The late wife...hope it's not too embarrassing to say...I'm proud of you.

I love your level head, out-of-the-box thinking, life skills, jack-of-all-trades & master of some, music, dogs, country atmosphere...even the coffee (and I don't even drink coffee)

Your first thing, kids, leisure time, books...all of it showcases you well. It's a cryin' shame I can't introduce you to that niece of mine.

Ever read Stranger in a Strange Land by any chance?

j8a
 
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Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #4  January 3,2011, 6:37pm
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Thanks karajoyfull! I have adjusted my profile thusly:

Replaced the "most influential person" text with this. (I do have a replacement if this turns out to scare too many people away.) Note that I'm not sure if "hold close" says the right thing here.

My late wife. Over the course of 9 years, she helped me gain the strength and confidence that are a big part of who I am today. She also taught me how to love well, something that I hold close as I look for a unique woman with whom to share my life and times.

Replaced "my out of the box thinking with this:

  • My friends and neighbors. We all get along well, invite each other over for drinks and a movie, and help out whenever it's needed.
Shortened the "wish more people would notice" text:



I am very versatile – a jack of all trades, master of some. When it comes right down to it, everything in life is a giant puzzle. Many kinds of problems - from figuring out why the car won't start to contemplating the psychological motives behind the pontifications of peculiar politicians – can all be abstracted into a set of rules, a riddle. I am good at finding these rules – figuring out how things work – and then, in practical applications, fixing the problems that I find.
 
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Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #5  January 3,2011, 6:42pm
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j0hn8andy wrote :
I just can't find anything to object to.
Aww, shucks j8a. Thanks!

j0hn8andy wrote :
Ever read Stranger in a Strange Land by any chance?
Oddly enough, that book is sitting right here next to the computer, ready for me to dive into the first page! I'm hoping I enjoy it as much as I enjoyed Beyond This Horizon.
 
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lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #6  January 3,2011, 6:47pm
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Much better - it read as a dialogue rather than a series of lists this time. The focus was more concise as well.

The ten year anniversary line is funny and gets your point across without being cookie cutter.

The out of the box paragraph is a little rambling...I began to skim then consciously stopped and read. It's also dense - you give away about 8 conversation starters in that one paragraph. Consider Augustus Gloop and save some for later. ETA: This is the problem with beginning a post and walking away before finishing it - you edited, so this paragraph is moot. I'm leaving it b/c the Willy Wonka reference amused me.

The changes were really effective - in tone it hasn't changed that much (it's still very "you") but the content is much more engaging.
Last edited by lunabeach; January 3,2011 at 7:03pm.
 
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mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #7  January 3,2011, 6:50pm
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mixing metaphors in a mellifluous melange of malapropisms

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Sparkles56 wrote :
The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:

Honesty, integrity, and openness. These traits are vital when you are looking for someone with whom to spend the rest of your life. Additionally, I am attracted to educated, independent women who are wicked smart and not afraid to show it! I know exactly what I want out of life and love. If you do as well it'd be great to hear from you!
Sparkles, this new profile is great! I would totally contact you after reading this! I really like this part, because this is exactly what I am looking for as well (in a guy, anyway)... except that you said it much better in your profile.

I posted my (dull, boring, cliche) profile for review last week, and am still emending it based on everyone's feedback.

Best of luck!
 
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karajoyfull is offline karajoyfull Post #8  January 3,2011, 7:12pm
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I think those changes look excellent.

I like the addition to the section about your late wife, but wait and see what others think. Someone with more qualms about dating a widower could probably give you a better perspective than me.

I hope we read a success story from you soon!
 
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Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #9  January 3,2011, 7:18pm
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Thanks everyone for the advice and notes of encouragement!

I am annoyed because I had to reduce my "can't live without" items. It turns out they can't be more than 50 characters long! I thought I was being forced to write a "Can't live without" haiku! I hope these versions are as compelling as the previous.

Good music of all kinds, from Bach to AC/DC.
My Siberian Huskies. I like furry Nordic dogs!
Friends and family that provide support and fun!
The quiet, beautiful starry country sky.
Coffee - organic, bold, & black!
 
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Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #10  January 6,2011, 8:59am
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So far I'm 1 for 7. After changing the profile I sent out GC's to 7 women. 1 answered, 1 closed out, 1 looked at my profile. The 1 who answered is a Nurse Practitioner - which doesn't surprise me. I get matched with a LOT of Nurses and Teachers for some reason.
 
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