Opethfan777 is offline Opethfan777 Post #1  January 2,2011, 8:41am
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Morgantown, WV

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Well here goes:

The one thing I am most passionate about:
I am passionate about helping those in need of assistance. Whether it be the homeless or my close friends. I feel it is important to encourage and lift up others. Whether it be in good times or bad.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:
I am looking for someone who is funny, good in conversation, caring, faithful, encouraging and cares about the needs of others.

Basic Information

Occupation: Student
Age: 26
Height: 5' 6"
Wants Kids: Yes
Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity: White, non-Hispanic
Religion: Christian
Drinks: About once a week
Smokes: Never

The most influential person in my life has been:

Jesus Christ is the most important person in my life. Other than Jesus, my close friends have been great inspirations to me. They have been there through the good and bad times. Loyalty makes good friendships.

The three things which I am most thankful for:

  • For good relationships with my close friends.
  • For being able to worship God freely.
  • Having the ability to actively play a part in encouraging and helping others.
Three of my best life-skills are:

  • Volunteering my time to causes I care about
  • Entertaining in my home
  • Maintaining a network of close friends
The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

That I enjoy deep, meaningful conversations. The best way to connect with others is by getting to know them on a deeper level.

The things I can't live without are:
  • Jesus Christ
  • My closest friends
  • My music collection
  • Going to live concerts
  • Deep conversations about life
The first thing people notice about me:

People generally notice that I am a calm and quiet soul.

Some additional information I want you to know:

My friends tell me I am often hilarious. I am a very honest and real person as well. I try as best as I can to be an open book. I am quite loyal to my closest friends and would do anything for them.

I typically spend my leisure time:

I enjoy the good company of friends. I also like to volunteer when possible. I am not much of a TV watcher, aside from a few shows I enjoy. Going to concerts is also something I really like to do. As well as go to Art, History and Science museums.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

I am currently reading Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. It is a book based around the idea that we need to learn how our emotions effect us and those around us.

My friends describe me as:
  • Quiet
  • Perceptive
  • Good Listener
  • Loyal
Let me know what you think!
Last edited by Opethfan777; January 2,2011 at 8:48am.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #2  January 2,2011, 9:08am
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Does this profile really reflect who you are? If your best friend was telling a woman about you, trying to get her interested... is this stuff really what he/she would say?

I ask this because to me, it looks like what a lot of guys write because they think it's what women want to read. Puppies and caring and in touch with their feminine side. And then they wonder why matches don't show any interest.
 
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Opethfan777 is offline Opethfan777 Post #3  January 2,2011, 9:50am
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Yes, this is who I am. I didn't just write this kind of stuff because that is what I think women want. I am an avid volunteer and like to help others. It really makes me happy to help people in need. I just like making a difference in my community. What would you suggest to liven up my profile a little?
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #4  January 2,2011, 10:09am
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Just a few things to consider

Repetitiveness in your answers - example would be God/ JC, eventhough your answers are truthful, no need to say more than once. Use this space to say something else that may give a match something to attach to. Look over your profile if anything appears more than once change it.

Humor- Don't tell people you're funny/hilarious- show them. Your profile doesn't have a drop of humor in it!

Be more specific - example would be your music collection. what type of music/concerts? expand on these generic answers. Again giving your match something to attach too..

Hope that helps...
Last edited by TrekRyder10; January 2,2011 at 10:21am.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #5  January 2,2011, 10:46am
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Exactly. Show, don't tell.

This is more of an issue with people who insist on writing cliche-type answers like "I am passionate about living live to the fullest" or "learning" or "helping people" or "being a good friend". Many - maybe even most - people write some variation of this type of non-answer. It's very easy to write about something real and concrete that you actually do. Don't be afraid to do that.

But if you insist on sticking with "I am passionate about helping those in need", then you'll need to work extra hard to make your readers see that you are serious, that you really mean it, that it truly is an important part of your life.
 
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CarolinaGyrl is offline CarolinaGyrl Post #6  January 2,2011, 11:34am
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I think it's great that you like to volunteer, and I think that would resonate with a lot of women. However, you need to go beyond that. Give details. Do you work at a soup kitchen, tutor at-risk youth or clean up blighted areas in your community? Why do you feel compelled to do this? And what do you get out of it?

You also have a grammatical error in the question about the book you've read recently. You use the word effect when you actually need the word affect. Effect is generally used as a noun and affect as a verb. Most people would gloss over that, but I do a lot of editing in my line of work. So I wanted to bring it to your attention.

Good luck.
 
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Opethfan777 is offline Opethfan777 Post #7  January 2,2011, 12:08pm
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Does this happen to look any better? I tried to remove as much repeating as possible while trying to convey what I am interested in.

The one thing I am most passionate about: I think it's possible to be passionate about multiple things. The things I am passionate about are: Volunteering at a Non-Profit that helps the homeless, maintaining my close friendships, adding to my ever growing collection of music(whether it be metal or not), and going to live shows.


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: I am looking for someone who is funny, good in conversation, caring, faithful, and encouraging.


Basic Information

Occupation: Student
Age 26
Height 5' 6"
Wants Kids: Yes
Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity: White, non-Hispanic
Religion: Christian
Drinks: About once a week
Smokes: Never

The most influential person in my life has been:

Jesus Christ is the most important person in my life. Other than Jesus, my close friends have been great inspirations to me. They have been there through the good and bad times. Loyalty makes good friendships.


The three things which I am most thankful for:

  • The chance to try new foods.
  • Finding underground music to listen to.
  • Helping others when I have the free time to do so.

Three of my best life-skills are:
  • Volunteering my time to causes I care about
  • Entertaining in my home
  • Maintaining a network of close friends

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

That I am not as intense as person as they perceive. I seem serious at first because I like to observe people a bit before jumping into conversations. Once I am pretty comfortable, I can get a little off the wall. Mostly because I like to make people laugh.


The things I can't live without are:

  • Being Random
  • My closest friends
  • My collection of Heavy Metal
  • Going to see Metal bands
  • Did I say being random? I am not sure...am I?

The first thing people notice about me:

Most likely they notice I am an observer first and a communicator second.


Some additional information I want you to know:

I tend to do very random things at ridiculous times. I often like to see how people will react to the things I say or do. For example: One time I was in Target with a few friends, and us guys started wearing women's hats and scarfs. While doing this, we walked around Target shopping. Our female friends berated us, but we couldn't stop laughing.


I typically spend my leisure time:

Going to Metal shows, volunteering, doing random things with friends, playing video games/board games and eating sushi.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

I am currently reading Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. It is a book based around the idea that we need to learn how our emotions affect us and those around us.


My friends describe me as:
  • Quiet
  • Perceptive
  • Good Listener
  • Loyal
Last edited by Opethfan777; January 2,2011 at 12:10pm.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #8  January 2,2011, 12:34pm
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wrote :
I tend to do very random things at ridiculous times.
This is what makes the womenz knees buckle...

You may want to rethink the random lines.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #9  January 2,2011, 12:57pm
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Opethfan777 wrote :
The one thing I am most passionate about: I think it's possible to be passionate about multiple things. The things I am passionate about are: Volunteering at a Non-Profit that helps the homeless, maintaining my close friendships, adding to my ever growing collection of music(whether it be metal or not), and going to live shows.

fluff! Get rid of the parts in red and get to the point..keep it simple and make it about the volunteering. The parts in purple are already in your profile, again too repetitive.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: I am looking for someone who is funny, good in conversation, caring, faithful, and encouraging.
okay.. doesn't flow, but it will work. .

The most influential person in my life has been Jesus Christ is the most important person in my life. Other than Jesus, my close friends have been great inspirations to me. They have been there through the good and bad times. Loyalty makes good friendships.

pick one... its either JC or a single friend/person

The three things which I am most thankful forThe chance to try new foods.
Finding underground music to listen to.
Helping others when I have the free time to do so
The chance to try new foods? were you in jail or something The helping others part should be part of you most passionate answer.

Three of my best life-skills are
  • Volunteering my time to causes I care about
  • Entertaining in my home
  • Maintaining a network of close friends
the 1st and the 3rd are repetitive....


The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me That I am not as intense as person as they perceive. I seem serious at first because I like to observe people a bit before jumping into conversations. Once I am pretty comfortable, I can get a little off the wall. Mostly because I like to make people laugh.

Not great, needs some work. and get rid of the part in red. doesn't come across the way you think it does.

The things I can't live without are
Being Random
My closest friends
My collection of Heavy Metal
Going to see Metal bands
Did I say being random? I am not sure...am I?

It is important to have good answers in these bullet point questions. these bullet point answers draw people eyes in. Lose the random stuff.

The first thing people notice about meMost likely they notice I am an observer first and a communicator second

Almost the same answer as the question I wish people would notice..

Some additional information I want you to know
I tend to do very random things at ridiculous times. I often like to see how people will react to the things I say or do. For example: One time I was in Target with a few friends, and us guys started wearing women's hats and scarfs. While doing this, we walked around Target shopping. Our female friends berated us, but we couldn't stop laughing.
I am at a loss for words.. too much info and really not going to have many women say.. wow I need to meet this guy.. rethink this entire answer..
I typically spend my leisure time:Going to Metal shows, volunteering, doing random things with friends, playing video games/board games and eating sushi.
I am having deja vu.. haven't I read this before..

Advice above in blue..

I think you need to read some of the other profile reviews and see what others have written. Also you may want to check out the profile workshops( top of the forum) that address each question..
Last edited by TrekRyder10; January 2,2011 at 1:17pm.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #10  January 2,2011, 1:07pm
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Opethfan777 wrote :
Does this happen to look any better? I tried to remove as much repeating as possible while trying to convey what I am interested in.

The one thing I am most passionate about: I think it's possible to be passionate about multiple things. The things I am passionate about are: Volunteering at a Non-Profit that helps the homeless, maintaining my close friendships, adding to my ever growing collection of music(whether it be metal or not), and going to live shows.
Just say: "I'm passionate about.." and say them..you don't need to say "I think"
It's your profile... Just say it.


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: I am looking for someone who is funny, good in conversation, caring, faithful, and encouraging.


Basic Information

Occupation: Student
Age 26
Height 5' 6"
Wants Kids: Yes
Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity: White, non-Hispanic
Religion: Christian
Drinks: About once a week
Smokes: Never

The most influential person in my life has been:

Jesus Christ is the most important person in my life. Other than Jesus, my close friends have been great inspirations to me. They have been there through the good and bad times. Loyalty makes good friendships.

List a person you actually know here, not JC...


The three things which I am most thankful for:

  • The chance to try new foods.
  • Finding underground music to listen to.
  • Helping others when I have the free time to do so.
the stuff you list sound all like "maybes", to me..
I think this should be under your leisure activities


Three of my best life-skills are:
  • Volunteering my time to causes I care about
  • Entertaining in my home
  • Maintaining a network of close friends

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

That I am not as intense as person as they perceive. I seem serious at first because I like to observe people a bit before jumping into conversations. Once I am pretty comfortable, I can get a little off the wall. Mostly because I like to make people laugh.


The things I can't live without are:

  • Being Random..I have no idea what this means??
  • My closest friends
  • My collection of Heavy Metal
  • Going to see Metal bands
  • Did I say being random? I am not sure...am I? yes, and you should change it because its obtuse, at best..

The first thing people notice about me:

Most likely they notice I am an observer first and a communicator second.


Some additional information I want you to know:

I tend to do very random things at ridiculous times. I often like to see how people will react to the things I say or do. For example: One time I was in Target with a few friends, and us guys started wearing women's hats and scarfs. While doing this, we walked around Target shopping. Our female friends berated us, but we couldn't stop laughing.
Yeah...I don't know about this...not sure if this works.
I'll wait for the ladies to chime in on this one.


I typically spend my leisure time:

Going to Metal shows, volunteering, doing random things with friends, playing video games/board games and eating sushi.
What is this obsession with the word "random", anyway?

The last book I read and enjoyed:

I am currently reading Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. It is a book based around the idea that we need to learn how our emotions affect us and those around us.


My friends describe me as:
  • Quiet..I'd get rid of "Quiet"..(unless you are looking to draw someone as a match who's quiet)
  • Perceptive
  • Good Listener
  • Loyal
My comments in blue.
Last edited by TheThinker; January 2,2011 at 1:09pm.
 
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