melman is offline melman Post #11  January 2,2011, 1:33pm
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Opethfan777 wrote :
I think it's possible to be passionate about multiple things. The things I am passionate about are: Volunteering at a Non-Profit that helps the homeless, maintaining my close friendships, adding to my ever growing collection of music(whether it be metal or not), and going to live shows.
"One thing" means ONE THING. Pick one of these and write two or three or four sentences about why it's important. The other items could be moved elsewhere in the profile, and more fully explained. What you have now, is just a list of vague unexplained things.

Don't assume that the reader knows anything about you. i.e. "(whether it be metal or not)". The reader will say "Huh? Did I miss something here?".

wrote :
Jesus Christ is the most important person in my life. Other than Jesus, my close friends have been great inspirations to me.
Again, "one" means ONE.

wrote :
That I am not as intense as person as they perceive. I seem serious at first because I like to observe people a bit before jumping into conversations. Once I am pretty comfortable, I can get a little off the wall. Mostly because I like to make people laugh.
Can you write this in a way that doesn't start out so negatively?

wrote :
Most likely they notice I am an observer first and a communicator second.
This is not a "first thing" that someone would notice. What would someone notice about you upon first meeting you?

wrote :
I tend to do very random things at ridiculous times. I often like to see how people will react to the things I say or do. For example: One time I was in Target with a few friends, and us guys started wearing women's hats and scarfs. While doing this, we walked around Target shopping. Our female friends berated us, but we couldn't stop laughing.
This sound like something a 12-year-old would do. Written as if a 12-year-old wrote it.
 
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SkinsGiants_fan is offline SkinsGiants_fan Post #12  January 2,2011, 7:08pm
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My takeaway from this profile is that you love JC (cool, I love him too), listen to heavy metal, do some volunteer work, and do "random" things. Surely there is more to you than that?

My suggestion is that you step away from the profile for a few minutes and think about who you are, what you are all about, and what you would like to convey to your matches. Perhaps take a pen and paper and do some brainstorming - perhaps jot down:

(1) Things that are important to you - Clearly volunteering, but what kinds of volunteering?

(2) What do you like to do in your spare time - What do you do for fun? Do you like to watch any particular sports? Do you play any particular sports? Do you exercise? If so, what kinds of exercise? Go hiking? Skiing? Watch TV? Dancing? Traveling (and if so, what cities/countries)? Sailing? What sorts of music do you listen to (besides heavy metal)? Do you hang out with your family a lot? You need to be as specific as possible - saying you do "random" and "fun" things tells your match nothing.

(3) Interesting experiences you have had - What are your best memories? When you think of happy times in your life, what do they look like?

The above are just suggestions, but brainstorming is what it is. Then put the most interesting stuff into your profile. You want to to give your match a compelling reason to communicate with you.

Good luck!
Last edited by SkinsGiants_fan; January 2,2011 at 7:12pm. Reason: I am fussy with my writing
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #13  January 2,2011, 7:26pm
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Opethfan777- Just an fyi.. your profile should always be a work in progress, updating and tweeking it as you go..

 
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