falseDimitri is offline falseDimitri Post #1  December 28,2010, 6:24pm
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Is it possible to get private advice on eHarmony?
I have this conversation going with a woman that I contacted and I can't tell if she is interested in me or just kinda along for the ride. Ideally, someone knowledgeable about these sort of things would look at the text of our messages and could say yes or no. I don't want to post the text publicly.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #2  December 28,2010, 6:42pm
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I don't even need to read any of your conversation with your match to provide advice.

Just ask her to meet in person, and let it play out from there.




Last edited by TrekRyder10; December 28,2010 at 6:49pm.
 
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Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #3  December 28,2010, 6:42pm
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falseDimitri wrote :
I have this conversation going with a woman that I contacted and I can't tell if she is interested in me or just kinda along for the ride.
Ask her to meet. You can't read signals via e-mail. If she's interested, she'll be open to meeting. If not, then she won't be interested in meeting.
 
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falseDimitri is offline falseDimitri Post #4  December 28,2010, 6:51pm
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Thanks for your replies. I think you're right. Another question ... in real life, when I ask someone out, I say "Would you like to go to dinner Friday night?", as opposed to "Would you like to go out some time?". The latter is lame, the former gives her an easy way to say no if she's not interested. Does the same apply on eH? An added difficult here is that we live about an hour apart.
 
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savman is offline savman Post #5  December 28,2010, 6:59pm
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Yep, "dinner Friday night" is the way to go IMHO. "Would you like to go out sometime" is extremely vague and nearly worthless.

And I am with the others. The best way to go is to ask her out.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #6  December 28,2010, 7:02pm
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But "Would you like to go to dinner Friday night?" is still phrased as a question. It's easy to say "no".

What I started doing - with surprising success - is to open OC with a short simple message that ended with the statement of my intentions: "Looking forward to meeting you." So far, the response to this has always been that yes, the match would like to meet as well. Get the agreement to meet first, and let the when and the where settle out later.

You might consider trying this.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #7  December 28,2010, 7:04pm
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Yes, the same does apply to e-dating (eH)

I personally wouldn't do dinner, I prefer drinks or an activity for a first meet, and if things go well, we can go for food, but that is just me...

3 things..
  • Don't ask over email
  • Have a backup plan. (if she is not comfortable with having dinner)
  • Meet half way or go to her side of town..

 
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Sparkles56 is offline Sparkles56 Post #8  December 28,2010, 7:14pm
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falseDimitri wrote :
An added difficult here is that we live about an hour apart.
Don't consider that a difficulty. I live an hour fifteen from my place of work, and from my 'target market' so to speak.
 
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falseDimitri is offline falseDimitri Post #9  December 28,2010, 7:20pm
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Afa as the looking forward to meeting you thing, she did write "this is better discussed over a bottle of wine" once.

Dinner, yes, too much for a first meeting. So I'm thinking lunch at a nice little town halfway in between us.

- Don't ask over email
How else?
 
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savman is offline savman Post #10  December 28,2010, 7:26pm
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Most of those little devices which send text message also double as a phone. Remarkably, the number used for texting also makes that device ring.

Sorry, that was written a big smart. Not meant to offend.
 
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