rtf1057 is offline rtf1057 Post #1  December 27,2010, 8:23am
rtf1057's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2010

Posts: 4

See profile

I just emailed someone from eHarmony that had a Rely ID from Boulder, CO. I live in California and he said he has moved to California 4 months ago. Can this be true? Is he really from CO, like his Rely ID states? Why have Rely ID if this could be the case? He says it is because his billing for his credit card is still in CO where he still has his house, but he is selling it.
Thanks for any advice. I am going to meet him in a public coffee shop today.
 
  Reply With Quote
Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #2  December 27,2010, 8:31am
Wonderwoman40…'s Avatar

L'Chayim!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2009

Omaha, NE

Posts: 4,495

See profile

That sounds like it is very plausible to me. Once you get RelyID (which I understand is good for a year after purchasing it no matter the length of the membership you pay for) I don't believe they update it automatically if you move, and I don't know how you'd get them to re-do it if you told them you moved.

I would not place much emphasis on RelyID. I'm sure that less than 5% of the matches I received had it, I didn't have it, and it's such a cursory verification that it is virtually meaningless anyway. It's pretty much just another way for eHarmony to get a few extra bucks out of you.
 
  Reply With Quote
Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  December 27,2010, 8:52am
Sassafras54's Avatar

Your Community Coordinator

Moderator

Joined: Oct 2009

San Pedro, CA

Posts: 9,085

See profile

It does sound plausible.

That said, just use your common sense and pay attention to your instincts ... like you would with anyone. Hope it goes well! :-)
 
  Reply With Quote
startingwithbasics is offline startingwithbasics Post #4  December 27,2010, 10:36am
startingwithb…'s Avatar

is just taking it one day at a time.

Quick Study

Joined: Apr 2010

Dallas

Posts: 146

See profile

Some info may be out of date. This can happen with technology systems from time to time. If you are meeting him for coffee today then I would assume that he really could be living in Cali now.

Let us know how it goes.
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  December 27,2010, 10:47am
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,149

See profile

Since RelyID works from public records, yes this is totally plausible.
 
  Reply With Quote
rtf1057 is offline rtf1057 Post #6  December 27,2010, 12:28pm
rtf1057's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2010

Posts: 4

See profile

He said he moved to California 4 months ago and joined eHarmony last week. I found this a bit fishy so I researched online and found out he lied about his age as well. On eHarmony he says he's 46, but he's actually 55.
I called off the date. I talked to him and he confessed about lying about his age. He also previously told me he had 2 kids, but he actually has 5.
I honestly don't get it. If he lies about these silly facts, then I think he would lie about important stuff too.
Would you report him? If so, is there a way to report?
Thx
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  December 27,2010, 12:59pm
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,149

See profile

If he lied about his age there is NO WAY RelyID would have OK'd him. It is based on age, past addresses, loan info, etc. Anything deemed public info it can verify will be used.

I think he probably used the name of someone who he knows that is the age he wanted everyone to think he was. If he did live in CO and knew someone with the same first name as him, he could have done this.

And, yes, I would report his. Blatant lies like this are unacceptable IMO.
 
  Reply With Quote
rtf1057 is offline rtf1057 Post #8  December 27,2010, 1:32pm
rtf1057's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2010

Posts: 4

See profile

@ AndlelsMe: He gave me his cell phone number and I paid to research his information. His name (first and last) checks out to the cell phone and other information that links him to his profile.
Therefore, there is A WAY for relyID to OK him.
Be careful of the advice you give - "If he lied about his age there is NO WAY RelyID would have OK'd him" - this is just NOT true and infuriates me more. I found out way more for a screaming deal of $.99 than I did from Rely ID!
I am sure you are supportive of eHarmony and its services - but this time eHarmony failed and the service it proclaims to offer is useless.
We agree that this should be reported. eHarmony makes it difficult to send a concern. I sent an email to matchconcerns@eharmony.com.
 
  Reply With Quote
AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #9  December 27,2010, 2:13pm
AndieIsMe's Avatar

A letter in the mail is more precious than a 1000 IMs

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: Nov 2009

Emerald Triangle

Posts: 8,149

See profile

Have you gone through the RelyID process? I have. It was very specific of who I was, age, location, previous addresses, etc. It's doesn't do some magical background check, but it does verify that you say you are who you are.

It also does not display last names on the profile. So, he could, hypothetically, use the name of someone else, that he knew information about, and confirmed the identity that way. As long as that person had his same first name, he would be good to go!

I could use my sister's name and with a little research, verify her as "me". I could verify myself as my mom if I had enough information. It's not fool proof, but it does use information that is sometimes hard to figure out. The amount of a loan from 15 years ago. The address you lived at 5 years ago.

I'm just saying that because it uses the initial info you give it to verify who you are, it would be simple (not necessarily easy) to fool it into making it verify you as someone else. Someone else who is younger, older, lives in an area you want to "be" from, etc.
 
  Reply With Quote
mitchell175 is offline mitchell175 Post #10  December 28,2010, 2:06pm
mitchell175's Avatar

mixing metaphors in a mellifluous melange of malapropisms

Power Poster

Joined: Oct 2010

Boston, MA... or thereabouts

Posts: 6,394

See profile

rtf1057 wrote :
He said he moved to California 4 months ago and joined eHarmony last week. I found this a bit fishy so I researched online and found out he lied about his age as well. On eHarmony he says he's 46, but he's actually 55.
I called off the date. I talked to him and he confessed about lying about his age. He also previously told me he had 2 kids, but he actually has 5.
I honestly don't get it. If he lies about these silly facts, then I think he would lie about important stuff too.
Would you report him? If so, is there a way to report?
Thx
I am glad you called off the date. Too many people would go anyway for "benefit of the doubt". I don't understand why so many people insist on lying about details that are easily proven false. Have they really had success in the past of people they are involved with finding out about these huge lies and being OK with that? People even lie about "little" things like height, or their job, or previous marriages. Why? Just be honest and upfront. No one wants to date a liar.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Random Questions about eHarmony | Using eHarmony | How far do you look for matches? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Rely ID rtf1057 Using eHarmony 0 December 27,2010 8:19am
Rely ID.... seeksoulmate Using eHarmony 11 October 4,2010 12:19pm
What does it mean: To Believe? What is: A Believer? … Mind/body duality. ThomasM Christian Singles 13 July 31,2010 5:42pm
What over the counter meds do you rely on? eharmonyadvice Health & Wellness 29 April 20,2010 11:39am
"Finish Your Profile" Ad with Rely ID Sign Up—Anyone else annoyed? gubrilkia Using eHarmony 3 September 14,2009 11:20am

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ Where's the other boot?” –  Breezy1

Join the “She stared at my feet. Is this normal?” discussion

“Exit interviews are highly recommended in many dating books and in other life strategy books. They are very effective. I think he would answer honestly to the some point. I know that is horrible and ... ” –  biking_girl

Join the “Exit interview after unsuccessful date” discussion

“And I'd also add that while a successful stable job down the road and a solid income is helpful in attracting a woman, it's no guarantee that finding love will be easy for you. I know plenty of men ... ” –  boschimsp

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“I think if someone says they can't meet you for weeks, they are lukewarm interested. Even if he were truly busy with a project, he'd be able to drop you an email or a text here and there. I took ... ” –  Carole1520

Join the “Did he poof?” discussion

“ Yes, illegal aliens aren't treated as illegals. lol OP, trust your gut. A few months ago, I met a guy on match, who said his membership was expiring, and gave me his IM so we could chat. I ... ” –  Carole1520

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“Stop humping my leg.” –  Breezy1

Join the “Comment to win a FREE month of eHarmony!” discussion

“I thought this thread was about exercise. Positive OP though...nice to see.” –  Breezy1

Join the “It's a matter of fit” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:25pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0