Closing Match at 3rd Stage of Cummication?


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Tracyannk28 is offline Tracyannk28 Post #1  November 5,2010, 4:28am
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Has anyone done this? I feel kinda bad, but I wasn't crazy about his answers for his Open Ended Questions (he is looking for someone who has a love of the fine arts, and who loves to travel - I'm not into the arts at all, and my single motherhood and job pretty much keeps me from traveling the world). Also, his first Open Ended Question to me was:

"If you could throw a party and invite any 5 people in the world, who would they be and why? The trick is they have to be living and they can't be related to you!"

I was like, "huh???..."
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #2  November 5,2010, 4:31am
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Yeah, I've closed people at stage three. Usually though it's a combination of red flags in their profile, followed by those red flags being emphasized in his questions and responses, where the conclusion is pretty clear that giving this person any further benefit of the doubt is a waste of time.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #3  November 5,2010, 4:40am
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I can't say I've done this yet...although I almost did with one match, as she kept telling me how "busy" she was...alrighty then...

My theory is, most people don't know what to say anyway and when they try too hard, it ends up sounding pretty goofy...hence the "party" question he threw at you.
 
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lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #4  November 5,2010, 4:47am
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I think this is a pretty common place for either person to close - for example, I asked someone about reading material b/c he mentioned he liked to read and I'm a voracious reader. Everything he listed as a favorite, life changing book was something I consider insipid, sappy, or commercial/boring. That combined with his being much more religious than me indicated that we would probably not like each other very much. I've been closed for whatever reason at this stage as well - probably because I don't handle ultra personal questions from strangers very nicely.

Unlike the profile and the first two steps, stage 3 is where you ask about some things that would be a point of commonality AND they usually answer in their own "voice" - rather than a crafted profile. I think this is a very reasonable stage to close someone at if you just can't see wanting to have a conversation with them based on their answers.
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Tracyannk28 is offline Tracyannk28 Post #5  November 5,2010, 4:55am
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does an apple a day keep the doctor away if the apple is dipped in carmel?

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OK - then I won't feel so bad...his first choice of question threw me off...especially with "The trick is....."

I was like "dude - don't ask me trick questions!" LOLOLOL
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #6  November 5,2010, 9:31am
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Yes, I've closed either because of answers or certain questions in Open Ended Questions.
I think that's what the GC steps are for to weed out the unappealing .
Actually, I closed one because of a very similar dopey question. I don't know if she was trying to be clever, creative or unique, but it sounded like a grade school quiz and saw it as a waste of time to answer.

Tracyannk28 wrote :
Has anyone done this? I feel kinda bad, but I wasn't crazy about his answers for his Open Ended Questions (he is looking for someone who has a love of the fine arts, and who loves to travel - I'm not into the arts at all, and my single motherhood and job pretty much keeps me from traveling the world). Also, his first Open Ended Question to me was:

"If you could throw a party and invite any 5 people in the world, who would they be and why? The trick is they have to be living and they can't be related to you!"

I was like, "huh???..."
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  November 5,2010, 12:39pm
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Do not feel bad about making a decision to close someone when it is painfully obvious you are not compatible.
 
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frogprince is offline frogprince Post #8  November 5,2010, 2:03pm
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Tracyannk28 wrote :
Has anyone done this? I feel kinda bad, but I wasn't crazy about his answers for his Open Ended Questions (he is looking for someone who has a love of the fine arts, and who loves to travel - I'm not into the arts at all, and my single motherhood and job pretty much keeps me from traveling the world). Also, his first Open Ended Question to me was:

"If you could throw a party and invite any 5 people in the world, who would they be and why? The trick is they have to be living and they can't be related to you!"

I was like, "huh???..."
Sounds like an interesting question. Much better than the ones that people pick from a list. Yeah I guess you would be doing him a favor by closing him. I wouldn't like someone who wasn't into the arts or who doesn't enjoy traveling.

I am probably going to close someone at level 3 because even though I asked non-standard questions I still have know nothing about her. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #9  November 5,2010, 2:56pm
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Yes, I close for women's questions, or answers to my questions, often.

I also find this question stupid - I might have pointed that out, too.
 
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