Is it possible to ask Eharmony to ask your match why that person closed you out?


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ELAINEMARIE is offline ELAINEMARIE Post #1  November 3,2010, 10:04pm
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Hello, I just wondered if someone does close you out, if Eharmony can email that person to find out the reason why? I have been communicating thru email with my match for over a month now, we never spoke on the phone. but I was hoping to, today I found out he closed me out, and I was just wondering why. In my opinion, I think if you have been communicating with someone for a while, they should send you a email offering some type of explanation, at least before the poof on you. just to be nice. Its not a great feeling looking at someones profile then to discover match is closed, oh well, I guess thats life.
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  November 3,2010, 10:26pm
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People "poof" like that pretty often. You could ask EH's customer service to contact him but I kind of doubt they'd do it.

In any case ... there are lots of reasons why people disappear. Many of them have nothing at all to do with you. But whatever the reason, it's not really important is it?

It is rude though, you're right about that. Sorry it happened to you. It probably will happen again ... because it's pretty common. Don't let it get to you. Just focus on matches who don't poof.
 
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Nic312 is offline Nic312 Post #3  November 3,2010, 11:57pm
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ELAINEMARIE wrote :
In my opinion, I think if you have been communicating with someone for a while, they should send you a email offering some type of explanation, at least before the poof on you. just to be nice. Its not a great feeling looking at someones profile then to discover match is closed, .
Somewhat related... On a match that recently closed me, I noticed that the emails we shared back and forth on OC were gone/unviewable... When I close a match, I send a polite email explaining and then close the match - but are they even getting that last email? Is it possible that I'm appearing to poof, even when I've done to polite thing of a final email?
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #4  November 4,2010, 5:04am
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This:
Sassafras54 wrote :
People "poof" like that pretty often.
reasons why people disappear have nothing at all to do with you.

But whatever the reason, it's not really important is it?

Just focus on matches who don't poof.
 
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Patterson is offline Patterson Post #5  November 4,2010, 5:11am
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ELAINEMARIE wrote :
Hello, I just wondered if someone does close you out, if Eharmony can email that person to find out the reason why? I have been communicating thru email with my match for over a month now, we never spoke on the phone. but I was hoping to, today I found out he closed me out, and I was just wondering why.
Even if eH contacted your match, no matter what the answer they were given, it all means he's no longer interested. This is why eH got rid of the close reasons.

In the future you shouldn't be spending so much time in email (especially eH mail) exchanging personal emails or phone numbers should happen after a week or so, even if it is was a long distance match. If you're not comfortable giving a personal email address, set up an non-identifying email addy specifically for online dating.
 
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Patterson is offline Patterson Post #6  November 4,2010, 5:23am
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Nic312 wrote :
Somewhat related... On a match that recently closed me, I noticed that the emails we shared back and forth on OC were gone/unviewable
You should be able to view the entire communication history of any closed match your were in GC or OC with..

*click eH mail on their profile.
*this bring you to the time stamp of the close..
*above that.. is a blue box with the four stages.
( any stage grey in color- means you never hit that stage)
*for OC click on stage 4 (email) to view past communications

wrote :
When I close a match, I send a polite email explaining and then close the match - but are they even getting that last email? Is it possible that I'm appearing to poof, even when I've done to polite thing of a final email?
I hope you don't mean every match you close, and just those you are in actual communication with?

More than likely they can't figure out how to get to the email to read your final message, as all they see is closed..

my suggestion to you is: do not close them, let them read the message and close you first, or give it a few days after your email before you close..
Last edited by Patterson; November 4,2010 at 5:58am.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #7  November 4,2010, 5:40am
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Patterson wrote :
You should be able to view the entire communication history of any closed match your were in GC or OC with..

-click eH mail on their profile.
-this bring you to the time stamp of the close..
-above that.. is a blue box is the four stages.
( any stage grey in color- means you never hit that stage)
-for OC click on stage 4 (email) to view past communications
Not me.
I can't read past email exchanges of any matches that are closed.
 
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Patterson is offline Patterson Post #8  November 4,2010, 5:44am
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TheThinker wrote :
Not me.
I can't read past email exchanges of any matches that are closed.
are you on the new interface? maybe this is another downgrade..
I just checked and I can go back over a year..
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #9  November 4,2010, 7:07am
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Patterson wrote :
are you on the new interface? maybe this is another downgrade..
yes.
we all got the "new and improved" version, I guess.
 
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nancymargritangelita is offline nancymargritangelita Post #10  November 4,2010, 7:24am
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Sassafras54 wrote :
People "poof" like that pretty often. You could ask EH's customer service to contact him but I kind of doubt they'd do it.

In any case ... there are lots of reasons why people disappear. Many of them have nothing at all to do with you. But whatever the reason, it's not really important is it?

It is rude though, you're right about that. Sorry it happened to you. It probably will happen again ... because it's pretty common. Don't let it get to you. Just focus on matches who don't poof.
Yeah - it is rude.

I was going to say that the OP has a right to know why he closed, but on second thought does she really want the answer to that question? I taught elementary school for 7 years. When I was training to become a teacher, the first rule that we were taught is "never ask a question you don't want the answer to."

Sometimes it's best to leave well enough alone and move on.
 
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