What does it take for a guy to get some communication?

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noname128 Post #1 November 1,2010, 6:03pm

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I'm just lost here - I have a fully completed profile, with a handful of decent pics (and I'm certainly not hideous) ...and it's extremely rare that any woman will return my communications. I have re-written my profile multiple times, trying my damnedest to show some personality and information...but just nothing. Any other guys have this problem or are most of the ladies here looking for some kind of fantasy guy that we just can't live up to?

tweet37 Post #2 November 1,2010, 6:14pm

has all the tools and can........satisfy

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Without your profile and photos posted , it's hard to say. I would guess that your photos and profile aren't as hot as you think.

liquid_steel Post #3 November 1,2010, 6:27pm

Friendly banter welcome...

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noname128 wrote :

This is a wonderful platform for feedback. Post your photo and add your profile information similar to your eharmony profile so that we can assist you better!

frogprince Post #4 November 1,2010, 6:45pm

is at home.

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I have had communications from 7 different women since Friday. Looks range from smoking hot to average. But I sent out a ton of questions. I think if you are an average or above woman you probably get a ton of communications from guys and you can be choosy. In the end you can only marry one girl if you live in the USA. So it doesnt' bother me that much that not every woman is responding to me.

Mr_Cutlass Post #5 November 1,2010, 6:58pm

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noname128,

The worst thing you can do is get down about it and let it lower your spirits. For the vast majority of men on here (if not for all men), the response rate from women is horrifyingly wicked. But, it's all a numbers game; the more requests for communication you send out, the higher probability someone will repond to you.

The best piece of advice I can give you is to emphasize your strengths, whatever they may be. You need to stand out from the pack somehow. Think about something in your background, values, personality, goals, passions, etc that you think you can communicate about that will give you an edge over other men. Think of what makes you unique and express it. Of course, photos are critically important too and there is a ton of advice on this site regarding that so look into it and I think you'll find it quite helpful.

As far as the whole requesting communication process, it can be tricky and there are factors that will influence your chances for success that neither you have any control over nor do you even know the truth about. One of these factors is the fact that you can receive new matches that may not have a current active subscription to eHarmony. If they have kept matching on, they will still continue to be matched up to people, even though they may not be a current paying member. You have no way of initially knowing this when you receive new matches, so that can be frustrating. Frankly, I don't like that aspect of eHarmony at all. I wonder what % of new matches people receive are individuals who don't even have an active subscription! 25%? 50%? More? I have no idea but it has to be a solid amount. So, if you request communication from someone, keep this in mind. They might not be able to respond...

melman Post #6 November 1,2010, 7:06pm

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Mr_Cutlass wrote :

For the vast majority of men on here (if not for all men), the response rate from women is horrifyingly wicked.

wrote :

I wonder what % of new matches people receive are individuals who don't even have an active subscription! 25%? 50%? More? I have no idea but it has to be a solid amount.

This topic is discussed so often, I don't see how you could be missing it. Personally, I was active on eH for a bit over 3 years, and I estimate that about 70% of the matches I got, were inactive or lapsed (they never viewed my profile). Others throw out higher numbers but without the data to back it up.

Mr_Cutlass Post #7 November 1,2010, 7:08pm

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melman wrote :

Well that's the thing...without seeing the actual data, we're all just taking shots in the dark estimating about it. I'd like to know that the real number is...

Co6aka Post #8 November 1,2010, 7:32pm

says, ''BARK! and you have no idea how humans will respond.''

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