Did I waste my money on Eharmony?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Lasoct is offline Lasoct Post #1  October 31,2010, 10:04am
Lasoct's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2010

Posts: 1

See profile

I signed up for Eharmony about 3 months ago. So far very few matches have been sent. Eharmony even recommended that I put down that I drink alot more just to find a match. So I think I may have made a mistake by joining.
 
  Reply With Quote
Diana_P is offline Diana_P Post #2  October 31,2010, 11:26am
Diana_P's Avatar

Board Leader - Religion & Spirituality

Joined: Sep 2010

Posts: 1,118

See profile

Lasoct wrote :
I signed up for Eharmony about 3 months ago. So far very few matches have been sent. Eharmony even recommended that I put down that I drink alot more just to find a match. So I think I may have made a mistake by joining.
I don’t believe eHarmony is a waste of money, but I do believe that you get out of it what you put into it.

Are your profile pictures up to date and full body shots? Are they flattering or did you include pets or your ex’s? What does your profile say? If someone actually likes your picture and starts to read your profile will it really tell them anything useful about you?

Do you initiate communication with any of your matches or do you wait on them? If you aren’t getting many matches try tweaking your match settings. I didn’t hardly get any local matches until I took the restrictions off the distance then I started getting matches from all over the world plus local. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true.

I hate to even bring this up, but why did you join eHarmony in the first place? Okay, I know it is a dating site, but why did you feel you needed assistance in the dating department? If eHarmony has a weak point I think it is not exploring this dimension.

I am a total advocate of eH and I believe in their philosophy, but I wish they were a little more proactive in the training department. Boards like the eHA help, but eHarmony is really missing out on an opportunity to put the other on line dating sites out of business by offering the users the one thing that the others don’t: confidence. Confidence comes from knowledge and success.

eHarmony has plenty of good articles, but busy people don’t have time to read. Give us some videos, interactive tutorials and podcasts. Help arm us with the artillery we need to survive on the dating battlefield.

If the eH designers are wondering if these suggestions would help, just look at how many people spend a good deal of their free time on these discussion boards!

Getting off my soap box now, LOL!

I would suggest tweaking your settings and try to keep in mind that the more unique you are the more difficult it will be to find somebody compatible. Unique is good, because the more you are like everybody else the easier you can be replaced.
 
  Reply With Quote
Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #3  October 31,2010, 12:10pm
Wiseman2's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: May 2009

Posts: 6,322

See profile

I doubt they told you to put drink a lot more, perhaps broaden your criteria or don't put "never"?
Review all your matching criteria and keep it broad, you can always close the way too out of range ones later.
good Luck
Lasoct wrote :
I signed up for Eharmony about 3 months ago. So far very few matches have been sent. Eharmony even recommended that I put down that I drink alot more just to find a match. So I think I may have made a mistake by joining.
 
  Reply With Quote
sunshine03 is offline sunshine03 Post #4  October 31,2010, 12:38pm

the eyes are the window to the soul

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2010

Canada

Posts: 162

See profile

The concept is great however, like anything eharm has glitches, like getting unpaying members as matches. To change your preferences is a way to get more matches, but you have to know exactly what it is your looking for. They told me at one point to change my distance. Well, if I don't want a long distance relationship (been there done that), then I will leave as is and wait..In my eyes if its meant to be it will happen! Good luck!
 
  Reply With Quote
eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #5  October 31,2010, 5:13pm

Moderator

Joined: Sep 2008

Pasadena, California

Posts: 1,814

See profile

Hi Lasoct,

I'm sorry that you're not having the experience you'd like on eHarmony.

I'm really glad you said something here, because you might find some keys to turn your experience around.

I'm very confident that we didn't tell you to drink more, and I'm concerned that our encouragement on that particular setting came across that way. More likely, the setting was encouraging you to open your settings to matches who may drink a little more (not necessarily a lot more).

We do make suggestions, but just as much as we offer suggestions, we encourage all members to hold fast to their personal values and not compromise them.

You might want to take a look at my colleague's article, particularly the "drinking setting" section, because I think she words it very carefully:

eHarmony and the Art of Match Settings: Personal Preferences

You might also find alternate ways of opening your settings through one of these articles:

eHarmony Religion Settings: The How-To Manual
eHarmony and the Art of Match Settings: Distance

I agree that your photos are extremely important, and your profile could also factor into how much communication your getting from your matches. We hold a free and anonymous Profile Review here on eHarmony Advice where you can have your profile reviewed by your peers and the Advice hosts.

Here are the instructions on how to get your profile reviewed:

Dating advice message board

All the best,

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
  Reply With Quote
Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #6  October 31,2010, 8:18pm
Wonderwoman40…'s Avatar

L'Chayim!

Virtuoso

Joined: Jan 2009

Omaha, NE

Posts: 4,495

See profile

Diana_P wrote :
I hate to even bring this up, but why did you join eHarmony in the first place? Okay, I know it is a dating site, but why did you feel you needed assistance in the dating department?
This seems like a harsh question to ask of someone who came here to ask about being sent very few matches. Who says he "needs assistance in the dating department?" Asking that implies that there's something wrong with him, yet you have nothing to base such an assumption on.

Posting great photos, revamping the wording in a profile, etc. is NOT going to cause eHarmony to send more matches. eHarmony simply has very few matches in some demographics.

If he were getting plenty of matches but they weren't responding, then some of the advice given would be applicable. But he isn't getting the matches sent to him in the first place, a fundamentally different issue.
 
  Reply With Quote
Mythical is offline Mythical Post #7  November 1,2010, 5:51am
Mythical's Avatar

wonders abound

Quick Study

Joined: Oct 2010

Posts: 209

See profile

Someone on the board said they set their distance to 60 and got way more local matches. I tried that and would have to agree. Set to 60 at Very High and you'll have the best luck at local people, even those under 30 miles. Not sure why. It just seems to work better.
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #8  November 1,2010, 6:58am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,750

See profile

It may not seem like it, but they probably gave you good advice.

You are being matched two ways - people who fit your criteria and also people whose criteria you fit.

For instance, if you put down that you never drink and it's highly important to you that your matches never ever drink either - you have to realize that this is outside the social norm and so your pool of matches will be small no matter what dating site you use.

However, if you put down that you never drink but your matches can drink however they wish.....you opened yourself to matches who drink, but your matches may have you blocked regardless and so you are still getting very few matches.

Again, the reason for that is being outside the social norm. Also, there is some stigma that someone who never drinks may be a recovering alcoholic. This may not be true for you, but people make strange presumptions and set their parameters accordingly. So there may be a lot of people out there who will reject a match setting of "never drinks" without really stopping to think about it. As a result, you may be missing out on great matches where you both would get along with each other if your settings were closer to the social norm.

Hope this makes sense to you.
 
  Reply With Quote
Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  November 1,2010, 7:46am
Gr8Guyn2008's Avatar

I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

Sage

Joined: Jan 2008

Orlando, FL

Posts: 19,670

See profile

Diana_P wrote :
I hate to even bring this up, but why did you join eHarmony in the first place? Okay, I know it is a dating site, but why did you feel you needed assistance in the dating department?
Wonderwoman402 wrote :
This seems like a harsh question to ask of someone who came here to ask about being sent very few matches. Who says he "needs assistance in the dating department?" Asking that implies that there's something wrong with him, yet you have nothing to base such an assumption on.
I don't know why you consider this a "harsh" question. I also don't know why you would consider the asking this question implies that there is something wrong with the OP. I certainly don't consider that there is anything "wrong" with me because I use eHarmony.
 
  Reply With Quote
nancymargritangelita is offline nancymargritangelita Post #10  November 1,2010, 8:13am
nancymargrita…'s Avatar

loving the fall colors

Board Leader - Career

Joined: Jul 2009

Edmonton

Posts: 1,634

See profile

I agree with Gr8Guyn2008 and Wonder Woman - there's nothing wrong with you for joining eHarmony. There's something wrong with eHarmony for telling you to change your setting on drinks. Why would you tell someone you drink more than you do just to get more matches? That doesn't make sense. The person who told you that needs a good tongue lashing.

It could just be that you need to change your distance settings - sometimes that's all that's needed to get more matches. Once you start getting more, it's up to you to decide that who's too far away and who isn't.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« What does it take for a guy to get some communication? | Using eHarmony | I need a Profile Review, Please »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Welcome and Tips for eHarmony Advice Newbies! eHA_Admin_Lori Talk to your Community Team 10 February 9,2012 12:07pm
50% closed with reason other on first communication mzzButterfly Using eHarmony 33 March 13,2011 10:13am
Last Minute Success on eHarmony! eH_Advice_Admin_Lori Success Stories 12 May 15,2010 8:15pm
eHarmony Contact Information Posted Here! eH_Advice_Host_Kate Using eHarmony 0 February 17,2010 6:47pm
eHarmony Profile Workshop Threads (Links listed here) neardc Using eHarmony 4 October 27,2009 7:02pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ Where's the other boot?” –  Breezy1

Join the “She stared at my feet. Is this normal?” discussion

“Exit interviews are highly recommended in many dating books and in other life strategy books. They are very effective. I think he would answer honestly to the some point. I know that is horrible and ... ” –  biking_girl

Join the “Exit interview after unsuccessful date” discussion

“And I'd also add that while a successful stable job down the road and a solid income is helpful in attracting a woman, it's no guarantee that finding love will be easy for you. I know plenty of men ... ” –  boschimsp

Join the “Should I ever date in college?” discussion

“I think if someone says they can't meet you for weeks, they are lukewarm interested. Even if he were truly busy with a project, he'd be able to drop you an email or a text here and there. I took ... ” –  Carole1520

Join the “Did he poof?” discussion

“ Yes, illegal aliens aren't treated as illegals. lol OP, trust your gut. A few months ago, I met a guy on match, who said his membership was expiring, and gave me his IM so we could chat. I ... ” –  Carole1520

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“Stop humping my leg.” –  Breezy1

Join the “Comment to win a FREE month of eHarmony!” discussion

“I thought this thread was about exercise. Positive OP though...nice to see.” –  Breezy1

Join the “It's a matter of fit” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 7:17pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0