EH_user is offline EH_user Post #1  October 30,2010, 5:42pm
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Why, why, oh why does EH not have a Been Divorced? question next to Kids at Home???? I really think this is a crucial fact to know. I wouldn't automatically eliminate someone whose been divorced, but isn't that something that would be good to know up front, instead of after you've met (as happened for me!). It just changes things to some degree and adds some additional issues you weren't bargaining for.
Last edited by EH_user; October 30,2010 at 6:02pm.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  October 30,2010, 5:55pm
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Marital status used to be listed on your profile but eH decided that pertinent information is better left off. It was one of the 2009 downgrades.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  October 30,2010, 5:59pm
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This is another way to comfort the less-appealing.

For sure, ask your matches about it if it's that important to you.

You may find there are a diversity of stories, but that's on you to then sort through.
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #4  October 31,2010, 7:41am
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Eh assumes you are legally available to date, meaning:
1)single
2)divorced (although they reject divorced more than twice)
3)widowed.

So what is the issue?

Divorced can mean anything from a brief 2 year non-child marriage years ago that didn't work out to a long term whole nine yards ordeal that is still a mess.

There are people who are divorced who still live with their exes.

There are "single "people who live with a significant other, have kids, etc.

Married and separated or not allowed on eH,

You still have to evaluate each situation on a case by case basis.

EH_user wrote :
Why, why, oh why does EH not have a Been Divorced? question next to Kids at Home???? I really think this is a crucial fact to know. I wouldn't automatically eliminate someone whose been divorced, but isn't that something that would be good to know up front, instead of after you've met (as happened for me!). It just changes things to some degree and adds some additional issues you weren't bargaining for.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  October 31,2010, 7:58am
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tweet37 wrote :
Marital status used to be listed on your profile but eH decided that pertinent information is better left off. It was one of the 2009 downgrades.
It must have been something they provided for people living in New Jersey. I have been on eHarmony since January 2008 and marital status has never been on any profile I have ever seen on eHarmony.

Unlike some (most) other dating sites eHarmony requires that you be single in order to use the site. They don't care how you became single.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  October 31,2010, 8:00am
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EH_user wrote :
Why, why, oh why does EH not have a Been Divorced? question next to Kids at Home???? I really think this is a crucial fact to know. I wouldn't automatically eliminate someone whose been divorced, but isn't that something that would be good to know up front, instead of after you've met (as happened for me!). It just changes things to some degree and adds some additional issues you weren't bargaining for.
I suspect that this may be an age related issue. I assume that any match I receive will be divorced or widowed. Inquiring into someones marital history is something that you could do in Open Communication or even Second Questions since it is a big deal to you.
 
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frogprince is offline frogprince Post #7  October 31,2010, 2:40pm
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I think this would be useful as well. I am begining to believe if a woman is into her 30's and has never been married she has relationship issues. So I would much prefer a woman who was married for 10+ years and divorced than a woman who can't commit, doesn't know how to compromise etc.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #8  October 31,2010, 3:29pm

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Hi EH_User,

It’s understandable that you would want to know something like marital status earlier on in the getting-to-know you process as it could really affect a potential relationship down the line.

Essentially, our research indicates that compatibility factors more into whether a couple will be happy together rather than either of their marital status “labels” (assuming that they’re single, of course). That’s why we leave it up to people to explore these issues through the communication process.

Actually, marital status has never been included on eHarmony profiles. Something maybe to keep in mind, too, is that those who have gone through divorce wouldn’t necessarily have the same situation attached (angry exes, shared custody) – each story is unique. That said, even if you knew your match’s marital status right away, you’d still want to communicate to find out what their situation entails.

I think that gr8guyn2008 has an excellent idea. Within the Guided Communication context of eHarmony, it’s acceptable to ask questions about marital history, or what their life looks like now. You might want to take advantage of that so you don’t waste time getting to know someone outside of eHarmony who wouldn’t have any potential for you.

All the best,

~Kate
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #9  November 1,2010, 7:39am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
It must have been something they provided for people living in New Jersey. I have been on eHarmony since January 2008 and marital status has never been on any profile I have ever seen on eHarmony.

Unlike some (most) other dating sites eHarmony requires that you be single in order to use the site. They don't care how you became single.
eH_Advice_Host_Kate wrote :

Actually, marital status has never been included on eHarmony profiles.
Well, I swear it was but I was wrong once before.
 
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