help with profile review please:)


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bdea is offline bdea Post #1  October 30,2010, 3:38pm
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Am I putting forth the right information, or just coming on too strong?

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My stepbrother's August wedding.


View all 5 photos


The one thing I am most passionate about: I am passionate about living each day as unto the Lord, and caring for others and bettering their lives; such as in the parenting of my children, missionary or volunteer work.


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:To have Godly character. If a man puts God first in his life, then I will be blessed; for he will care for my well being and that of others over him self, and do what is right in God's eyes regardless if I agree or not.


The most influential person in my life has been:

Well mostly my church body as a whole, I look to so many of them for comfort and sanity in times of distress as a single parent. If I had to choose one person that I look up to the most, it would be Lori Gammon. She has been a light house in my life that always points back to God, and she has taught so many women to stand apart from the ways of this world, and what it looks like to be a Godly woman and a "Keeper of the Home."


The three things which I am most thankful for:
  • Gods immeasureable Grace and Faithfulness in my life each new day.
  • That God is more faithful than I am to not leave me in the state that he found me when I was saved, and or the state that I am today. Growth is sometimes hard and scary, but I am grateful that the Lord Loves me and has an abudant life of His design for me.
  • For my children and my family, church and biological, and that He is Constant in caring for all my needs as His beloved.
Three of my best life-skills are:


  • Using humor to make friends laugh
  • Raising and/or caring for children
  • Managing my finances

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

My first name is Lea so I often feel like Leah in the bible, the unloved wife. However as a beloved of the Lord God I desire to be as Ruth, and be seen by a Godly man as a hard worker, a loyal companion, and a virtuous woman.




The things I can't live without are:
  • God's Grace and Love in my life continually.
  • My bible and worship time with the Lord.
  • The smile of my loved one's.
  • Parenting my child to honor God.
  • The ability to express myself creatively.

The first thing people notice about me:

I enjoy being creative and original and like to dress up. People often tell me that I am unique, fun, and a little bit wild, or lively maybe.





Some additional information I want you to know:

I am a mother of two boys, an eighteen year old and a nine year old. My purpose with eharmony is to find a marriage partner, not just a date or someone to hang out with. I don't celebrate halloween, and I have strong opinions about physical intimacy of any kind before marriage.


I typically spend my leisure time:

I do enjoy getting out and doing things to be active, however as a parent, a student, and life in general, I seem to be too busy and I feel God constantly reining me back to slow down and stay focused on what is most important.



The last book I read and enjoyed:

The Bible is first and formost, but a book called Hinds feet on high places would be second. I love that it is so simple and contrary to the beliefs of the society that we live in, and how with God at the helm in our lives, sorrow and suffering are not only for our good but are our friends.


My friends describe me as:
  • Genuine
  • Caring
  • Loyal
  • Intelligent
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #2  October 30,2010, 3:56pm
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You're obviously looking for someone where religion is important, but I think the numerous references to religion are going to be enough to turn off even the most religious of matches. Mentioning too much of any one thing makes you sound rather one dimensional.
 
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bdea is offline bdea Post #3  October 30,2010, 4:04pm
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Am I putting forth the right information, or just coming on too strong?

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Joined: Oct 2010

Posts: 5

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So what area of my profile should I expanded on someting other than God? Thank you for your time and consideration.
 
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Cathy61 is offline Cathy61 Post #4  October 30,2010, 4:21pm
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Joined: Sep 2009

Ohio

Posts: 129

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You are a beautiful woman. Your profile reads more like an application for a convent than a way to attract men. Try again and concentrate on what is fun and exciting about you. Religion is something to be brought out slowly. Your profile is more about the bible, God and your church than it is about you.

Don't name the person who is the most influential in your life. There are nuts in the world and your friend could have problems because of your post. The men reading your profile will not care about your friend's name. You can say you have close friends who help you, but don't have to say that they are church members.

Don't narrow down your choices to men who want to take on a biblical role in a marriage. Don't bother saying that you don't "do it" before marriage. Let that be something that is discussed in person. I am fairly well educated, but don't know who Leah is in the bible and only have a vague notion about Ruth. I would leave all of the bible references out.

I would also not mention your desire for marriage on your profile. That will scare most men away, not because they don't want to be married, but because they will feel that they should not even email you unless they have an engagement ring picked out. It was different in the bible, but modern men want to meet you and get to know you before deciding on marriage.

And you really should want to get to know a person quite well before asking them to marry you. You skimmed over that "my children" part without any explanation of whether you are divorced, a single parent by choice, or a widow.

Just my opinions. What you have might work for you and get you exactly what you are looking for, so if you try and it does not seem to be working, then you can always make changes.
 
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jms974 is offline jms974 Post #5  October 30,2010, 4:33pm
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Kent, WA

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I agree with the above posters...not that there is anything wrong with you being religious, but whether you intend to or not, you make yourself sound like a religious zealot and that can turn a lot of guys off. You can show that religion means a lot to you without refering to it in all your answers in your profile.

A lot of people that view your profile may be Christian, but they won't necessarily understand all the references you make, so I would also suggest taking them out. Save that stuff for later.

May I suggest that you be more specific with your leisure time answer? What do you enjoy doing outside of church? Any outdoor hobbies, movies you enjoy, etc.?
 
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bdea is offline bdea Post #6  October 30,2010, 4:38pm
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Am I putting forth the right information, or just coming on too strong?

Newbie

Joined: Oct 2010

Posts: 5

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Thank you very much for your time, and for being so clear with the direction of my intended reflection of myself.
 
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bdea is offline bdea Post #7  October 30,2010, 4:41pm
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Am I putting forth the right information, or just coming on too strong?

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Joined: Oct 2010

Posts: 5

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I guess I find myself so busy as a single parent and a student, that I don't have much that I do outside of church and parenting.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #8  October 30,2010, 6:04pm
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This might be an acceptable profile for a "religious dating" web site, but it just won't fly on a more general-purpose site like eH. And I say that as one of the few generally religious people here. Being "religious" does not mean that every statement you make needs to mention God, God, God, and church, church, church.

I see no evidence of a balanced life in this profile. No activities, hobbies, or interests. It's actually kinda frightening how one-note this is. Are you a minister? A minister's ex-wife?

Of course as they say, "it only takes one"... but the odds of finding that "one" on eH are probably not very good.

Please take a look at some other profile reviews. It may give you some ideas. Then please try again.
 
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gummibearlover is offline gummibearlover Post #9  October 31,2010, 7:58am
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hi i am also a working single mother who takes pride in being a great parent and involved on the community. But too much of the religous mention is present. How about physical activity--ie gym, walks,, are you craftsy? do you garden? what kind of volunteer work are you doing?cooking? etc. i dont know the mention of physical intimacy is necessary as many women feel that way but it is something i would discuss later. This is a website for men and women looking to get married--that combined with your profile info should ward off players and attract a religous man. good luck!
 
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socalgal55 is offline socalgal55 Post #10  November 1,2010, 1:29pm
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The one thing I am most passionate about: I am passionate about living each day as unto the Lord, and caring for others and bettering their lives; such as in the parenting of my children, missionary or volunteer work.


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:To have Godly character. If a man puts God first in his life, then I will be blessed; for he will care for my well being and that of others over him self, and do what is right in God's eyes regardless if I agree or not.


The most influential person in my life has been:

Well mostly my church body as a whole, I look to so many of them for comfort and sanity in times of distress as a single parent. If I had to choose one person that I look up to the most, it would be Lori Gammon. She has been a light house in my life that always points back to God, and she has taught so many women to stand apart from the ways of this world, and what it looks like to be a Godly woman and a "Keeper of the Home."


The three things which I am most thankful for:
  • Gods immeasureable Grace and Faithfulness in my life each new day.
  • That God is more faithful than I am to not leave me in the state that he found me when I was saved, and or the state that I am today. Growth is sometimes hard and scary, but I am grateful that the Lord Loves me and has an abudant life of His design for me.
  • For my children and my family, church and biological, and that He is Constant in caring for all my needs as His beloved.
Three of my best life-skills are:


  • Using humor to make friends laugh
  • Raising and/or caring for children
  • Managing my finances

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

My first name is Lea so I often feel like Leah in the bible, the unloved wife. However as a beloved of the Lord God I desire to be as Ruth, and be seen by a Godly man as a hard worker, a loyal companion, and a virtuous woman.




The things I can't live without are:
  • God's Grace and Love in my life continually.
  • My bible and worship time with the Lord.
  • The smile of my loved one's.
  • Parenting my child to honor God.
  • The ability to express myself creatively.

The first thing people notice about me:

I enjoy being creative and original and like to dress up. People often tell me that I am unique, fun, and a little bit wild, or lively maybe.





Some additional information I want you to know:

I am a mother of two boys, an eighteen year old and a nine year old. My purpose with eharmony is to find a marriage partner, not just a date or someone to hang out with. I don't celebrate halloween, and I have strong opinions about physical intimacy of any kind before marriage.


I typically spend my leisure time:

I do enjoy getting out and doing things to be active, however as a parent, a student, and life in general, I seem to be too busy and I feel God constantly reining me back to slow down and stay focused on what is most important.



The last book I read and enjoyed:

The Bible is first and formost, but a book called Hinds feet on high places would be second. I love that it is so simple and contrary to the beliefs of the society that we live in, and how with God at the helm in our lives, sorrow and suffering are not only for our good but are our friends.


My friends describe me as:
  • Genuine
  • Caring
  • Loyal
  • Intelligent
[/QUOTE]

My original profile for EH focused more on the Lord than it does now. I'd say 70% of the guys that looked at my profile closed me out before giving me a chance. My profile was about 70% less religious/spiritual than yours. I toned it down a bit, left the Lord in 3 different times. Now I don't get closed out as much.

I think even the very strongest of Christian men might be a bit intimidated by your level of religious/spiritual belief. I think you can get your feelings for the Lord across without bringing Him up in every section of your profile.

When I get to the email stage with matches if I am unsure of their relationship with the Lord I will ask then. When I get to the phone stage I will ask what church they go to as there are some religions that aren't a good fit for me. I would consider myself more spiritual than religious. With that said I am a Bible believing Christian. Just don't know that any organized religion has in it what I believe.

Much success to you. There are some wonderful men on EH and some not so wonderful men, we just need to use discernment.
 
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