NYC4LIFE is offline NYC4LIFE Post #1  October 28,2010, 4:59pm
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This is a question for the ladies. Hi I am new to eHarmony and am wondering do you ladies actually respond to guys who send you icebreakers? Should I be sending messages instead and if so what should I write? Should it be a quick email just introducing myself or a description of myself and my hobbies interests?

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lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #2  October 28,2010, 5:19pm
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Just send questions if you're interested. The icebreakers...eh. I'm never particularly inspired by them. "Just wanted to say 'hi!'" always leaves me confused. I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to do with that one..."wink" is pretty clear, but not wildly attractive.

If you like someone's profile/pic but they're lacking a pic/profile you can send one of the icebreakers asking them to post a pic/finish filling out their profile.

Skipping straight to OC (open communication) works for some people, but I personally like GC (guided communication) because it works for me - do the basic getting to know you stuff through GC, send an email or two, talk on the phone once or twice, meet. That's not how it is for everyone (some people like dragging it all out), but that's what I like.
 
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sunshine03 is offline sunshine03 Post #3  October 28,2010, 5:20pm

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Hi NYC:

I am female and I personally don't respond to ice breakers. You can either go the guided (question route), or a short email maybe talking a bit about what you have in common (so they know you read their profile!) then see what transpires - good luck!
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #4  October 28,2010, 5:37pm
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FYI, icebreakers are generally seen as a sighn that someone is a non-paying member. Whether or not this is true is irrelevant - this is the preconception, and is not helping your cause! Just send your questions, that is a much better starting point for most.
 
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NYC4LIFE is offline NYC4LIFE Post #5  October 28,2010, 6:39pm
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So what do I do with the ladies I sent icebreakers too? Do I send them questions or an email or did I already make too bad of a first impression and forget about them and move on to the new matches with this new game plan?
 
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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #6  October 28,2010, 6:51pm
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NYC4LIFE wrote :
So what do I do with the ladies I sent icebreakers too? Do I send them questions or an email or did I already make too bad of a first impression and forget about them and move on to the new matches with this new game plan?
Go ahead and send them the first questions.

Going forward, if you are interested in a Match, just skip the Icebreakers, and just send them your first questions.
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #7  October 29,2010, 7:13am
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Dropdeadredtx wrote :
FYI, icebreakers are generally seen as a sighn that someone is a non-paying member. Whether or not this is true is irrelevant - this is the preconception, and is not helping your cause! Just send your questions, that is a much better starting point for most.
You'll see this it pretty much the answer you'll get from guys or girls!
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #8  October 29,2010, 7:21am
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Icebreakers on EH really annoy me. It's so easy to push the communicate button and send the first questions, that the icebreaker simply does not make sense. It actually kind of makes the guy seem wussy. Also, how am I supposed to respond to it? With another ice breaker? You basically nudged me to start communication with you because you ..... Well you get the idea - don't use them. Send first questions.
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #9  October 29,2010, 7:59am
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They are a dopey gimmick to keep up with other sites' "flirt" and "wink" buttons.
As others stated, it is the only method of free contact, so mostly used by non-paying members.

In your case, newness to the site is the only other reason someone would use them.

NYC4LIFE wrote :
This is a question for the ladies. Hi I am new to eHarmony and am wondering do you ladies actually respond to guys who send you icebreakers? Should I be sending messages instead and if so what should I write? Should it be a quick email just introducing myself or a description of myself and my hobbies interests?

NYC4Life
 
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boschimsp is online now boschimsp — Advice Member-Moderator Post #10  October 29,2010, 8:44am
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Agree with everyone else. Unless someone specifically states in their profile they prefer jumping straight to email/OC, just send them the guided communication questions. I honestly don't receive that many ice breakers and don't really understand them at all, to me they seem passive and as others have said, a sign you are probably a nonpaying member.
 
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