socalgal55 is offline socalgal55 Post #1  October 27,2010, 9:00am
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My profile clearly states that I am a Bible believing Christian but for some reason a recent match felt compelled to let me know that he wanted sex on the 2nd date. My question is what can I put in my profile so that matches know that I don't want sex until we are both in love? Is there a tactful way to say this without making my matches think that I am a prude and don't like sex? TIA
 
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lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #2  October 27,2010, 9:13am
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I honestly don't know if there is. Mentioning sex in your profile could also read as you being conceited, suspicious, overly cautious, new to dating, or could inspire someone to want to test that.

I think filtering is your best bet - if you want someone with similar religious views, ask about their beliefs in OC. Then follow it up with, what kind of relationship are you looking for (based on those beliefs)? or what would you consider an ideal course for the development of a relationship?

They aren't invasive questions (less so than the recommended eH ones, actually). Even if he doesn't explicitly address sex it may give you a better picture of what he wants out of a relationship.
 
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lunabeach is offline lunabeach Post #3  October 27,2010, 9:13am
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...
Last edited by lunabeach; October 27,2010 at 9:14am. Reason: Double. Is this a google chrome thing? I never had an issue with firefox
 
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Harryoss is offline Harryoss Post #4  October 27,2010, 9:13am
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socalgal55 wrote :
My profile clearly states that I am a Bible believing Christian but for some reason a recent match felt compelled to let me know that he wanted sex on the 2nd date. My question is what can I put in my profile so that matches know that I don't want sex until we are both in love? Is there a tactful way to say this without making my matches think that I am a prude and don't like sex? TIA
To be fair, doesn't a true "Bible believing Christian" imply no premarital sex? Whereas you seem to be open to the idea, so long as you are in love?

The point I'm getting at is that, you seem to be under the impression that "Bible believing Christian" is implying something that it doesn't necessarily imply. So I wouldn't blame the guy for having not picked up on it. It's apples and oranges, the way I see it.

If you want to communicate the sex issue, and you feel strongly about it, why not make it one of your step 3 questions, or something?
 
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MichaelNES13 is offline MichaelNES13 Post #5  October 27,2010, 9:28am
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socalgal55 wrote :
My profile clearly states that I am a Bible believing Christian but for some reason a recent match felt compelled to let me know that he wanted sex on the 2nd date. My question is what can I put in my profile so that matches know that I don't want sex until we are both in love? Is there a tactful way to say this without making my matches think that I am a prude and don't like sex? TIA

How about bringing it up when you get to either the 3 questions portion (Stage 3 I think??). You could use that as a question and see their response, or you could offer the information when you get to OC.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #6  October 27,2010, 10:06am
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socalgal55 wrote :
My profile clearly states that I am a Bible believing Christian but for some reason a recent match felt compelled to let me know that he wanted sex on the 2nd date. My question is what can I put in my profile so that matches know that I don't want sex until we are both in love? Is there a tactful way to say this without making my matches think that I am a prude and don't like sex? TIA
You could try writing it in somewhere like "more about me"..but, I think Harryoss makes a good point in his post..you believe in premarital sex, so I'd leave the whole "good book" out of it, if I were you.
I also don't think there is any easy way to handle this without you sounding prudish...
I think you are just going to have to do it the old fashioned way..by talking about what you want, in OC.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #7  October 27,2010, 10:27am
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socalgal55 wrote :
My profile clearly states that I am a Bible believing Christian but for some reason a recent match felt compelled to let me know that he wanted sex on the 2nd date. My question is what can I put in my profile so that matches know that I don't want sex until we are both in love? Is there a tactful way to say this without making my matches think that I am a prude and don't like sex? TIA
If this was a reccuring problem, then I would say- yes there needs to be something in your profile.. From your post it seems like an isolated incident with someone who is now in the past..

Don't feel you should change your profile everytime something goes wrong.
Last edited by TrekRyder10; October 27,2010 at 10:32am.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #8  October 27,2010, 10:38am
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socalgal55 wrote :
My profile clearly states that I am a Bible believing Christian but for some reason a recent match felt compelled to let me know that he wanted sex on the 2nd date. My question is what can I put in my profile so that matches know that I don't want sex until we are both in love? Is there a tactful way to say this without making my matches think that I am a prude and don't like sex? TIA
heh..... how did that even come up in conversation....

Anyway, you are going to run into all kinds of people and you won't know who they are or what they are about until you actually talk to them and spend some time with them. So, treat each person as an individual and don't start building baggage from a one guy.

Most importantly, don't put that kind of baggagy stuff in your profile. It won't stop the wrong kind (won't even phase them), but it will make the right man walk away. You will actually accomplish the opposite of what you are trying to do. When it comes to dating, wear thick skin and bring a hefty dose of a sense of humor. You'll need both in large quantities. When you don't take yourself and this dating business too seriously, you'll find yourself having fun and when you are having fun, you will attract the right person.
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #9  October 27,2010, 10:58am
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Your religious convictions will not dissuade anyone from this.
Nor will stating you have to "be in love" first.

Best also, as other posts stated, to not rewrite in a defensive / reactive manner.

Unfortunately you'll have to play it by ear. You successfully dodged the acquisition frog, by simply not staying overnight.

It's really that simple. The whole "I'm not that kind of girl" preemptive talk never works. In fact, it will attract Mr. Acquisition, Mr. Player and Mr.Horndog all the more, because they will see it just another challenge.

Just walk the walk , one step at a time.

socalgal55 wrote :
My profile clearly states that I am a Bible believing Christian but for some reason a recent match felt compelled to let me know that he wanted sex on the 2nd date.

what can I put in my profile so that matches know that I don't want sex until we are both in love? Is there a tactful way to say this without making my matches think that I am a prude and don't like sex? TIA
Last edited by Wiseman2; October 27,2010 at 11:14am.
 
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socalgal55 is offline socalgal55 Post #10  October 27,2010, 11:00am
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Thanks everyone for the great advice. I added the following to my profile, it's a canned answer but it seems to say what I want.

Some additional information I want you to know:

I plan to take my time, really getting to know somebody new here. I can't wait to see where things go; I'm looking forward to meeting you!
 
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