Tracyannk28 is offline Tracyannk28 Post #1  October 27,2010, 4:13am
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does an apple a day keep the doctor away if the apple is dipped in carmel?

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I only have 2 weeks left of my membership and I really want to make the most of it, but I don't think there's much I can do. My 'matches' have been just awful (barely completed profiles, no photos, WAY out of my age range...I can go on and on). Out of the 3 people that I reached out to, only one actually viewed my profile and he didn't respond. In fact, I hardly get views at all....

Any advice?
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #2  October 27,2010, 4:19am
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has all the tools and can........satisfy

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Move to South Jersey!
 
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MichaelNES13 is offline MichaelNES13 Post #3  October 27,2010, 5:21am
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Move to Alabama, I could use a match. hahaha

For real though, I know how you feel. I'm actually lucky to get a match these days at all. I get maybe 1 or 2 a week and every time I click on the new match I've come to expect and incomplete profile or no picture. Good thing I only paid $30 to extend my membership another 6 months or I would be more disappointed than I already am.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #4  October 27,2010, 5:49am
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How long have you been on? How many decent dates have you had?
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #5  October 27,2010, 10:59am
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If you haven't already, make sure you cancel your subscription at least 48 hours prior to it ending, otherwise it will auto-renew..
 
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Tracyannk28 is offline Tracyannk28 Post #6  October 27,2010, 11:56am
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does an apple a day keep the doctor away if the apple is dipped in carmel?

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TheThinker wrote :
How long have you been on? How many decent dates have you had?
About 6 weeks...and I only met one in person....I got to Stage 4 Communication with one other guy, but he turned out to be a little "weird"....

And I already cancelled my subscription so it won't auto-renew. I think November 7th is my last day.
 
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Harryoss is offline Harryoss Post #7  October 27,2010, 12:12pm
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wrote :
Out of the 3 people that I reached out to
How come you've only reached out to 3 people? Do you mean only 3 people you made it to OC with? Or that you've only sent the first questions yourself, to only 3 people?

The former, I guess is normal... That's my experience as well... Though I'd have expected it to be different for women than men.

If it's the latter, then why is that so? Were you not getting enough matches or something? Because I thought it was common knowledge for anyone who frequents these forums to know that women SHOULD initiate contact as much as men, if they found someone interesting.

And going by that thought, if you only found 3 people interesting out of the potential hundreds that you could have received over a 6 week period (Average 6 matches a day = 252 matches in 6 weeks), could it be that you're being a little too picky?
 
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Tracyannk28 is offline Tracyannk28 Post #8  October 28,2010, 4:04am
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does an apple a day keep the doctor away if the apple is dipped in carmel?

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Harryoss wrote :
How come you've only reached out to 3 people? Do you mean only 3 people you made it to OC with? Or that you've only sent the first questions yourself, to only 3 people?

The former, I guess is normal... That's my experience as well... Though I'd have expected it to be different for women than men.

If it's the latter, then why is that so? Were you not getting enough matches or something? Because I thought it was common knowledge for anyone who frequents these forums to know that women SHOULD initiate contact as much as men, if they found someone interesting.

And going by that thought, if you only found 3 people interesting out of the potential hundreds that you could have received over a 6 week period (Average 6 matches a day = 252 matches in 6 weeks), could it be that you're being a little too picky?
No, I'm not too picky...at least I don't think I am. The majority of my matches had no pictures, or were way too old (as I would like to have more children). Many of them also lived too far away.

Someone FINALLY took a bite and responded to my first set of questions yesterday :-) We made it to Stage 3 Communication, but after I sent my set of open questions, I didn't get a response.

I'm not sure if he didn't like my open answers, or he just got busy...
 
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Harryoss is offline Harryoss Post #9  October 28,2010, 8:21am
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Tracyannk28 wrote :
No, I'm not too picky...at least I don't think I am. The majority of my matches had no pictures, or were way too old (as I would like to have more children). Many of them also lived too far away.

Someone FINALLY took a bite and responded to my first set of questions yesterday :-) We made it to Stage 3 Communication, but after I sent my set of open questions, I didn't get a response.

I'm not sure if he didn't like my open answers, or he just got busy...
Hmmm... That's strange then. I wonder if you've been too flexible with your match criteria in that case. Maybe you should try tightening them up a bit? Better yet, reduce your acceptable range, but put its importance at low or mid-low. That way it'll prioritize your preferences, but still look outside if it can't find enough of those.

I know it's common advice from eHarmony to be as flexible with these things as possible, but if age is a deal breaker for you (kids and all) then there's no point in being flexible with that.

And as for distance, the way I've gone about it is to set it at 30 miles with high importance... From my understanding, eHarmony has a HUGE pool of matches lined up for me (new members) that it will be sending me at a rate of 6-7 a day. Once I exhaust all these matches, then the rate will go down. So, what I've chosen to do is to keep my distance at 30 miles until I reach the point where I'm not receiving a lot of matches anymore (still hasn't happened)... Only then would I think of increasing the distance setting, which will bring in a whole new pool of matches.

Bottom line being that, being flexible with your match settings works best if you're NOT limited with time, and from the looks of it you're not planning on renewing anytime soon, so you ARE limited with time and I'd say it's pointless to increase your chances of being delivered matches that don't even meet the basic requirements you're looking for. (Age and distance).

Of course, eHarmony would go like, "But what about that one awesome guy who lives 31 miles away! You don't wanna miss out!!!!!"... Yeah well, for every awesome guy 31 miles away, there's hundreds of dead/pictureless profiles 60 miles away, and they'll all get delivered to you. Once again, if you're limited with time... it won't work out so well.

And finally, about the pictureless profiles... I dunno why you're experiencing a high volume of them. It just might be your luck. I can only speak of my own experience, and while I definitely get quite a few pictureless ones, I'd say they're no more than 15-20% of the time. You must be very unlucky!

EDIT: I just read through my entire post and realized I didn't really offer much as far as advice goes... Mainly cause I don't understand why you're not seeing success (especially cause from your forum photo, I'd say you're good looking)... Just trying to brainstorm with you, I guess.
Last edited by Harryoss; October 28,2010 at 8:27am.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #10  October 28,2010, 8:38am

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Hi Tracyannk28,

Sorry that you haven’t had as much activity as you’d wanted so far. Well, things can happen in two weeks – I know people who found the right person in that brief window of time.

I’ve probably suggested these articles for creative setting adjustment ideas, but just in case, here they are again. Seriously, they might offer some insight that you hadn’t thought of. In fact, someone recently that I was helping changed a lesser-known setting and was matched with his now-girlfriend. Here they are:

eHarmony Religion Settings: The How-To Manual
eHarmony and the Art of Match Settings: Personal Preferences
eHarmony and the Art of Match Settings: Distance
Using eHarmony: Exploring the 'No Way' Setting

It sounds like the age thing is due to the Match Flexibility setting (the sliding scale of “How Important is this setting to you?” is set to lower than 6). That’s probably why you’re getting matches who are older than your preference.

Also, you didn’t mention if you were initiating communication, but if not, maybe initiating more would help. Also, if you usually initiate with one type of communication, such as Guided Communication, try sending eHarmony Mail (or vice versa) and see if that does anything.

Also, there’s always experimenting with profile changes. The bonus to this is that every time you make changes, your open matches get an update, so you’re fresh in their minds.

Good luck, Tracyannk28!

~Kate
eHarmony Advice Host
 
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