CrownRoyalOnIce is offline CrownRoyalOnIce Post #1  October 24,2010, 9:05pm
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Hi,

I have been getting a fair number of matches, but not a lot of follow up communication, so I figured I'd ask if my profile was off putting in any way. Thanks.

The one thing I am most passionate about: I am passionate about keeping an open mind and constantly learning new things in life.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: I am looking for a sincere man, who is intelligent, balanced and confident. He knows how to laugh at himself and at the world, but doesn't think life is one big joke.

Basic Information

Occupation: Attorney
Age 27
Height 5' 9"
Wants Kids: Maybe
Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity African-American
Religion: Spiritual, but not religious
Drinks: About once a week
Smokes: Never

In my own words
The most influential person in my life has been:

My older brother. He is one of the most intelligent, and driven persons I know. I am proud of all his accomplishments, and thankful he was not just a brother, but a mentor throughout my life. He taught me to be my own person, to question conventional thinking and never to forget where and who I came from. My feet are planted firmly in the ground, and I am driven to be the best version of myself because of him.


The three things which I am most thankful for:
  • My health
  • My family
  • My friendships

Three of my best life-skills are:
  • Maintaining an organized life
  • Remaining calm yet resilient during a crisis
  • Finding pleasure and contentment in simple things

The things I can't live without are:

  • Dark chocolate
  • Laptop
  • Good conversation
  • Books
  • Ipod

The first thing people notice about me:

Other than my appearance, one of the first things people notice about me is my outgoing personality.


Some additional information I want you to know:

I am in a transition point in my life and really focusing on my health and fitness. I hope that matches who are interested in me also value health and fitness, or at least respect my attempts to live a healthier, more active lifestyle.

My interests
I typically spend my leisure time:

A few months ago I started practicing Bikram Yoga (also called Hot Yoga), which I really enjoy. I like catching up with friends, whether that means hanging out in person or talking on the phone. I enjoy watching television and just relaxing around my apartment as well. I have recently started an exercise regime, which I also enjoy doing in my free time.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

"Women Food And God" was the last book I read and enjoyed. It is about the relationship between what we eat, our relationship to God and who we perceive ourselves to be in the world. What I liked most about it was that it was really thought provoking on a deep level, even though it was written in a very simple format. Also, it wasn't preachy which a lot of books relating to eating / diet tend to be.

My friends describe me as:
  • Easy-Going
  • Loyal
  • Thoughtful
  • Intelligent
 
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melman is offline melman Post #2  October 24,2010, 9:22pm
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Most of your matches are Not Really There. 75% or more are lapsed members or guys that signed up for free but never paid.

Your "passion" answer has got to hook the reader's interest. It needs to focus on an actual hobby or an interest. Cliches like "I live life to the fullest", or the answer you have given, just don't convey anything that would have me thinking "hey.. this is someone I need to meet."

I really don't get much of a sense of who you are from this profile. And you raise two red flags. One - "I am at a transition point in my life." That could mean many things... most of them not good. You need to explain this, if you are going to keep it. Two - you say that you have started an exercise program but again you do not explain in any detail.
 
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CrownRoyalOnIce is offline CrownRoyalOnIce Post #3  October 24,2010, 9:38pm
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Thanks,

I'm not really a fan of the passion question, since I think it is a cliche in and of itself, so that may be reflected in my response. Passion is a really misunderstood word in and of itself.

I never considered that saying I am in a transition point would mean something bad. I recently moved to a new locale, started a new job, a new workout, etc, so that is a transition for me, but it's all good things as far as I can tell. However, it is fair to note that some people associate transition with negatives.

You mentioned that you can't get a sense of who I am, but isn't the point to try to get to know me through guided communication. Maybe I'm confused about what the profile is supposed to convey. I thought that the profile was just supposed to give a teaser into who the person is and you get to know more later. I'm not sure how much I am supposed to divulge in the profile. I talk about a hobby [yoga], a good book I read, people who influenced me. Like, I said, maybe I am confused.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #4  October 24,2010, 9:43pm
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Hi Crown.. great username btw.. okay I am going to be blunt.so please don't take it personally.. your profile is a bit vanilla and a bit repetitive, nothing really jumps out at me... you have some really good stuff but it's all at towards bottom of your profile..The first few questions need to draw me into your profile..


CrownRoyalOnIce wrote :
Hi,
The one thing I am most passionate about: I am passionate about keeping an open mind and constantly learning new things in life.
You seem like you very passionate about health and fitness.. those answers below should be here..


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: I am looking for a sincere man, who is intelligent, balanced and confident. He knows how to laugh at himself and at the world, but doesn't think life is one big joke.
Drop the lines in purple..

The three things which I am most thankful for:
  • My health
  • My family
  • My friendships
Cliche family and friends can be one.. give another example that might catch someons eye..


The things I can't live without are:

  • Dark chocolate
  • Laptop
  • Good conversation
  • Books
  • Ipod
Laptops and Ipod are cliche.. pick two that are different.. also expand on them a bit maybe even a little humor
Dark chocolate.. makes me weak in the knees


The first thing people notice about me:
Other than my appearance, one of the first things people notice about me is my outgoing personality.
Okay not great


Some additional information I want you to know:
I am in a transition point in my life and really focusing on my health and fitness. I hope that matches who are interested in me also value health and fitness, or at least respect my attempts to live a healthier, more active lifestyle.
like I said above this could be used in both your passionate answer and your looking for answer..

My interests
I typically spend my leisure time:
A few months ago I started practicing Bikram Yoga (also called Hot Yoga), which I really enjoy. I like catching up with friends, whether that means hanging out in person or talking on the phone. I enjoy watching television and just relaxing around my apartment as well. I have recently started an exercise regime, which I also enjoy doing in my free time.
You have to do more than yoga and excercise..
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #5  October 24,2010, 9:50pm
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CrownRoyalOnIce wrote :

You mentioned that you can't get a sense of who I am, but isn't the point to try to get to know me through guided communication. Maybe I'm confused about what the profile is supposed to convey. I thought that the profile was just supposed to give a teaser into who the person is and you get to know more later. I'm not sure how much I am supposed to divulge in the profile. I talk about a hobby [yoga], a good book I read, people who influenced me. Like, I said, maybe I am confused.
I will let you in on a secret on how most men read profiles.. We don't! we look at the pictures and skim through looking for red flags and dealbreakers..
We look for humor or interest and hobbies that jump out a us....cliche answers and profiles with little information we stop reading....so you will never make it to the GC questions.. so your profile is only a teaser when we can grab onto to something and say.I need to know more!!
Last edited by TrekRyder10; October 24,2010 at 9:57pm.
 
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CrownRoyalOnIce is offline CrownRoyalOnIce Post #6  October 24,2010, 9:55pm
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TrekRyder10,

Thanks for the compliment on my screen name, and the tips. No offense taken at all, and I don't really think you were that blunt.

My big question though, is where do you draw the line between being honest and being eHarmony appealing? For example, I really feel like my ipod is one device and my laptop is another, and I can't live without either. While it's cliche it is also true. My concern is trying to make up an "appealing" response, that isn't true to who I am. Or did you just mean add more details about why I love my laptop and ipod, to make it stand out more?

I don't want to come off as someone trying too hard by having all these really "unique" responses that don't reflect me.

Aside from that question/issue your remarks were helpful. Thanks.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #7  October 24,2010, 10:09pm
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CrownRoyalOnIce wrote :
.

My big question though, is where do you draw the line between being honest and being eHarmony appealing? For example, I really feel like my ipod is one device and my laptop is another, and I can't live without either. While it's cliche it is also true. My concern is trying to make up an "appealing" response, that isn't true to who I am. Or did you just mean add more details about why I love my laptop and ipod, to make it stand out more?

I don't want to come off as someone trying too hard by having all these really "unique" responses that don't reflect me.

Aside from that question/issue your remarks were helpful. Thanks.
Sorry but appealing and unique wins..ipods, laptop, phone and family are in 95% of the profiles we read, these are bullet point answers which catch a readers eye.. when they are cliche..we skip over them.. just sayin that something unique will make it stand out..
Last edited by TrekRyder10; October 24,2010 at 10:37pm.
 
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melman is offline melman Post #8  October 25,2010, 5:55am
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And we're not saying to be dishonest. Don't make things up. Write unique things that do really describe you and your life.

Yes, I think you are misunderstanding the point of the profile. It's your introduction to your matches. It's your opportunity to cause them to want to start communications with you, or to reply to your communication. If you write the same boring cliches that everyone else writes (I've seen well over 1000 profiles, I know all the cliches)... if you don't answer all the questions... if you don't say something at least a little bit unique... then you are not using the profile to your best advantage.

And yes, "passion" is a poor word for that initial question. Many people think it means "obsession" and are reluctant to give a good answer. But none the less, it's the first question in the profile. It's the first thing your match will read. You have to say something unique, positive, and interesting about yourself. If you say "I am passionate about living life to the fullest" or "I am passionate about learning" or "I am a nice person", etc., many guys will simply stop reading. I like to see an answer that I could imagine you telling me across a table on a date/meet. Talk about a real interest using conversational language (no essays or platitudes). This is where the cliches fail. They don't mean anything on their own. If a match was interested enough to ask you what "I am passionate about keeping an open mind" could possibly mean, what would you say? If you have an answer at all, you'll surely end up writing about a specific interest or hobby or something related to your career. And that is the answer that you should have written in the first place.

As Trek wrote, it may be true that if you have hot pictures, then the written content doesn't matter so much. But I can read your coded statements about "starting a new exercise program" and reading a lot of diet books. All the more reason to write in an appealing and interesting way. Right?

Hope this helps.
Last edited by melman; October 25,2010 at 6:13am.
 
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Harryoss is offline Harryoss Post #9  October 25,2010, 10:19am
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I like the profile as a whole, BUT I do see where the other people in this thread are coming from. Here's what I would add to their comments: Try not to repeat yourself, and try to combine similar points.

For example, you mention health and fitness in your "additional info" section... and I don't know if you will end up moving it around like trekryder suggests, but the point I'm getting at is: After having done so, there's no need to include "My Health" as one of the things you are most thankful for... It's already implied. You can replace it with something else.

And in almost all occasions, you can stand to combine Family and friends into one field. That would free up enough space for 2 additional (and more unique) things you are most thankful for.

On a side note, the "3 things I'm most thankful for" fields don't have a strict character limit, so you can elaborate on them as much as you'd like (nothing too long, obviously, but still).

You could go with the same idea as above for the "5 things you can't live without" section as well. Combine Laptop and Ipod into one field... clearing up room for an additional one. Maybe even replace the "Books" field with something else? There's a completely separate and dedicated field for Books, no need to repeat it here. You could also stand to add a few words about each thing you're thankful for. (These ones are actually limited to 50 characters I believe).

Hope this helps.
 
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