Do men prefer Guided Communication or Email?


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sunshine03 is offline sunshine03 Post #1  October 24,2010, 5:39pm

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So tonight I decided I was going to skip to email rather than the guided communication. The guy closed me out without viewing in 15 minutes flat. I guess he wasn't happy with that option. What are the views of you guys?

Thanks.
 
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PY_2 is offline PY_2 Post #2  October 24,2010, 5:55pm

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sunshine03 wrote :
So tonight I decided I was going to skip to email rather than the guided communication. The guy closed me out without viewing in 15 minutes flat. I guess he wasn't happy with that option. What are the views of you guys?

Thanks.
I've only used open communication maybe four times out of 140 matches (and maybe about 20-30 that I tried to communicate with). In those three cases, I did it because I either wanted to comment on something unique that they put in their profile or I try to make a personal impression on them. One closed me out due to distance, once closed me out because she pursued other matches. One I closed out after the communication stalled (she didn't respond after my 2nd communication).

One match asked me to call her barely after finishing up all the guided communication, I didn't call her because I was on the 3rd date with another match, and I didn't think she put enough stuff on her profile (or two open communication) for me to talk on the phone. She closed me out.
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #3  October 24,2010, 5:56pm

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Hi Sunshine03,

I see that you saw the post with the response from Renee…
Since your question arises out of actually getting closed when you sent the skip to eHarmony Mail request, I have a suggestion:

You could always put something on your profile stating that you’re open to either type of communication. That way, if you send an eHarmony Mail message, your match will know that he can choose to opt out of eHarmony Mail and let you know that he prefers Guided Communication.

Also, know that if you’re interested in that match, you can contact us with the name and location of the match and have Customer Care send him a request to re-open the match with you.

Guys - any of you want to chime in? This question was actually meant for you.

Good luck and I hope we see you in more discussions!

~Kate
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sunshine03 is offline sunshine03 Post #4  October 24,2010, 6:01pm

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Thanks Kate, as they say "live and learn"
 
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mattluen is offline mattluen Post #5  October 24,2010, 6:34pm
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I prefer the guided communication first as it's a way to get to know more about the person before just jumping into straight communication. I'm on multiple dating sites, and I've always had problems with the other sites that are just straight messaging sites. I apparently can't make a good enough first impression to get the girls to respond. so I like the guided communication as that combined with the profile gives you a good idea of who the person is and if you want to keep communicating with them before you get to email. hope that helps!
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  October 24,2010, 7:22pm
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sunshine, just so you know. If someone closes you, you cannot see if they viewed you.
 
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OlderButWiser0549 is offline OlderButWiser0549 Post #7  October 25,2010, 2:40am
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sunshine03 wrote :
So tonight I decided I was going to skip to email rather than the guided communication. The guy closed me out without viewing in 15 minutes flat. I guess he wasn't happy with that option. What are the views of you guys?
I tried that a few times myself and always got shot down for it. All I can figure is some people get spooked by it. Why they do, is anyone's guess. But speaking for myself, it wouldn't bother me at all.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #8  October 25,2010, 3:08am
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You don't really know why he closed you out - because of the e-mail or simply because he wasn't interested.

I think overall, EH does create that kind of an, oh no someone actually wants to talk to me I better run, atmosphere. So some people like the steps and some people don't necessarily like the endless steps, but at the same time..... most continue to follow them.
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #9  October 25,2010, 1:21pm
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I like the email but most people I've been matched with seem to prefer the GC so I just go with that.
 
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Harryoss is offline Harryoss Post #10  October 25,2010, 1:30pm
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I don't really know if it's a gender thing, more so than a personal preference thing, but IF IT WERE... I'd guess more men would be open to a jump to OC than women would, but then again that might just be my naive, young, inexperienced views talking.

In any case, personally, I'd prefer OC to GC any day, but I really don't mind either. I dislike it when a match takes like, a week to respond to each step though, and I guess that can happen with both cases.

On a side note, to the OP: Are you sure he closed you out because you jumped to OC? Couldn't he have just closed you out cause he didn't like what he read in your profile or something?
Last edited by Harryoss; October 25,2010 at 1:35pm.
 
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