EH_user is offline EH_user Post #1  October 24,2010, 5:00pm
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Ok, so this keeps happening: I get a match - they view my profile - I wait a few days to see if they will send me 5 questions - they do not - so I send 5 questions. Within a few hours, they view my profile again - they neither answer the questions nor close the match. WHY??? If they are not interested in answering the questions, then why not close me? Then I don't know how long I should wait before closing them -- I mean, obviously they are active online, right? Why keep logging on if you are not subscribing?
 
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eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline eH_Advice_Host_Kate — Advice Official Moderator Post #2  October 24,2010, 6:00pm

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Hi EH_User,

There are a lot of reasons why a match would view and not answer (at all or right away). I think you did the right thing by sending questions.

Sometimes they’re planning on responding later, and so they view to see who sent them questions.

I personally think it’s worth waiting 7 days to send them a Nudge, so you refresh them that you’re interested. If you’ve waited 7 days after that, you might want to close the match. But sometimes it does take time – all kinds of things could be happening on the other side.

Good luck to you.

~Kate
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annother is offline annother Post #3  October 24,2010, 6:04pm
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I don't expect everyone who views my profile to respond to me. Many people view multiple profiles each day to find out who is "out there," but that doesn't mean they know they want to make a connection with that person.

I look at the profiles of the men who look at mine, but I don't necessarily want to go any further than that. At the same time, I would not want to exclude the possibility that I might want to contact them in the future.

One of the advantages of the online dating system is that it allows us to filter out people who have characteristics we don't like. This is both a blessing and a curse, as you know.
 
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talk2me is offline talk2me Post #4  October 24,2010, 6:11pm
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I just signed up for eHarmony and am having the same thing happen to me. It's strange. I'm the female and I've read not to send the 1st communication, however, people are looking at my profile but not sending me any questions nor are they closing me. What are they waiting for?
I don't think I agree so much about the don't be the first to send the questions. But I did send one set of questions and he closed me. And I was keeping an open mind when I saw him. Then I sent an icebreaker...a few days later got an icebreaker back "hi". That was it.
Whoever is having success with this, please share your thoughts. I'm only signed up for 10 months and I'd like to get at least a few dates. By the way, I look pretty good, have a good head on my shoulders, so I really don't know what the problem could be.
Someone help this novice. Thanks.
 
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KactusKate is offline KactusKate Post #5  October 25,2010, 12:20am
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This is the third or fourth time I have signed up with E-Harmony. As usual, I am not getting any responses. Because of that I do not consider them a match. It is good to know that I am not the only one out there with the same problem. So why am I wasting my time and my money? I could have more fun going out to a nice restaurant/bar than sitting on my computer. Please if you are not interested or not serious don't waste my time, close the match. I think E-Harmony needs to change some things on their website. I hope they do because my time is almost up and I have better things to do.
 
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annother is offline annother Post #6  October 25,2010, 4:00am
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KactusKate wrote :
This is the third or fourth time I have signed up with E-Harmony. As usual, I am not getting any responses. Because of that I do not consider them a match. It is good to know that I am not the only one out there with the same problem. So why am I wasting my time and my money? I could have more fun going out to a nice restaurant/bar than sitting on my computer. Please if you are not interested or not serious don't waste my time, close the match. I think E-Harmony needs to change some things on their website. I hope they do because my time is almost up and I have better things to do.
Many people include their online dating activities among many other activities, and don't pay as much attention to the process as those who are more focused on it.

It is possible to be interested and serious but not in any great hurry to rule out possibilities. I am one of those that is slow to "close" anyone. It seems so final! In the real life social world there are lots of people on the peripheries of our social circles, and unless they are absolutely irredeemably awful, we don't exclude them from our lives. In the same way, I tend not to want to exclude people from my online connections.

I am on Match, and I generally like to go back over my "maybes" to see if I may have made a hasty judgement. I may do this a couple of weeks or more after my initial "click" on the maybe button.
 
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TrekRyder10 is offline TrekRyder10 Post #7  October 25,2010, 5:25am
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talk2me wrote :
I just signed up for eHarmony and am having the same thing happen to me. It's strange. I'm the female and I've read not to send the 1st communication, however, people are looking at my profile but not sending me any questions nor are they closing me. What are they waiting for?
Not sure where you read that, most of the men here actual like it when a woman initiates communication. Its just questions, not a marriage proposal.
wrote :
I don't think I agree so much about the don't be the first to send the questions. But I did send one set of questions and he closed me. And I was keeping an open mind when I saw him. Then I sent an icebreaker...a few days later got an icebreaker back "hi". That was it.
Well that is going to happen, more than likely he was a non-paying members who could only use the ice-breakers to communicate. A large majority of your matches are non-paying members who can only communicate on FCW (free communication weekends)

wrote :
Whoever is having success with this, please share your thoughts. I'm only signed up for 10 months and I'd like to get at least a few dates.
There are plenty of eHA women that take the inititive and send the first questions..

You are paying for a service, why not use it as intended.
You wouldn't join a gym and expect the treadmill to swing by your house every morning to pick you up..would you?

wrote :
By the way, I look pretty good, have a good head on my shoulders, so I really don't know what the problem could be.
Someone help this novice. Thanks.
My suggestion is submit your profile here for review. There are a few other members currently having your their profiles reviewed There could be red-flags- cliches' or pet-peeves currently in your profile that are turning away these matches.
Profile review instructions are at the top of this forum...
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #8  October 25,2010, 4:24pm
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The elephant in the room: they are not paying members and simply cannot communicate. This is true of most of the matches you receive.
 
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