CS Political Correctness = Rude & Obnoxious


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beebee111 is offline beebee111 Post #1  October 21,2010, 1:39pm
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I have a discussion question for all you seasoned EH daters out there.

When someone has "political correctness" as one of their CSs, are they more likely to be obnoxious.
In other words, what does being politically correct actually mean to different people and why is it so important that EH thinks it should be among CSs along with infidelity?
In my experience, some people who say they don't like to be politically correct are actually jerks. who say offensive things to other people without consideration of their feelings, and defend their behaviour by calling it politically incorrect.
I have strong opinions about certain things, but I don't feel like I have to impose them on others. There are many times when I hold my tongue when I am in group settings, in order to maintain the peace or because I think the issue is none of my business. Is this what some people mean when they talk about CS "political correctness?"
Last edited by eH_Advice_Host_Renee; October 21,2010 at 4:01pm. Reason: masked obscenity
 
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Harryoss is offline Harryoss Post #2  October 21,2010, 2:02pm
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wrote :
I have strong opinions about certain things, but I don't feel like I have to impose them on others.
This means that you don't have "Political Correctness" as a personality trait... That is to say, if a match has it as a Can't Stand trait, you're fine.

wrote :
There are many times when I hold my tongue when I am in group settings, in order to maintain the peace or because I think the issue is none of my business
This on the other hand, is contradictory to the above, because it paints the picture that you DO have political correctness as a personality trait, you just don't bother to show it in front of strangers... which begs the question: Would you attempt to "force" your views onto your significant other? If yes, then you do have it as a personality trait, and you should not contact matches who have it as a can't stand.

Ultimately, Political Correctness as a CS has NOTHING to do with politics, and EVERYTHING to do with how willing you are to be accepting of someone who has a different view of a topic towards which you might have some passion (in this case, politics).

As always, this is just my personal take on it, as I understood it. I wish I could put that as a signature or something on these forums.
 
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ISearch4Love is offline ISearch4Love Post #3  October 21,2010, 2:02pm
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MH/CS are so vague it's hard to even venture a guess what someone thinks when they pick one.

The discussions about them on these boards prove people see them completely differently.
 
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nancymargritangelita is offline nancymargritangelita Post #4  October 21,2010, 2:10pm
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This is a touchy issue.

Is it more about political correctness or is it more about tolerance of other people's views?

To me politically correct means you go with whatever the majority says is correct. The majority isn't always necessarily correct about every single thing. Tolerance of other people's views is more up my alley. I don't necessarily agree with what other people are saying, but I believe they have a right to hold that opinion. Disagreeing with them doesn't mean getting nasty with them; it doesn't mean holding one's tongue either. You can disagree with someone without belting them in the chops. There are less physical and nasty ways of disagreeing with them.

If political correctness is agreeing with the majority all of the time, then I'm better at tolerating other people's view points than doing what is politically correct.
 
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uniquegurl is offline uniquegurl Post #5  October 21,2010, 2:31pm
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beebee111 wrote :
When someone has "political correctness" as one of their CSs, are they more likely to be obnoxious.
I actually have this as my can't stands, the meaning for me is I want people to say what they mean. For instance, my ex-husband was (he is deceased) Caucasian which means our children are bi-racial.

After I divorced started dating a man that was Black Panther militant & I was unaware. He informed me that he just could not accept "mixing of the races, or marrying outside of ones' race." His statement got him a quick "it's a package deal go to hell", but I appreciated his honesty. Of course I left his house and he showed up at my door 2 weeks later and we talked about it.

Dated him for 5 years probably should have married him (I was a little gun shy after the divorce). My children think of him as Dad and call him Dad. I trust him with our lives. Had he been politically correct we never would have had a honest frank discussion about race and our viewpoints.
 
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BlueEyedLizzie is offline BlueEyedLizzie Post #6  October 21,2010, 3:07pm
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I am so anti-PC right now it's not even funny. Things have just gotten completely out of control. It is impossible to communicate in any way and not offend someone. I'm just done. And if one of my matches thinks it's important to never say anything that someone, somewhere could take offense to I am not the girl for him.

But that doesn't mean I'm rude or obnoxious. Just because I think you're an idiot doesn't mean I'll call you an idiot. It means I might laugh, shake my head and walk away from you or at the very least roll my eyes every time you open your mouth.

We've gone PC crazy and it's stupid.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  October 21,2010, 3:22pm
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I too wonder what some people mean by this MH/CS. I've met people who believe that they have to make their POV loud and clear whether it will offend others or not.

Just because I hold an opinion and the subject comes up does not mean I have (or need) to express that opinion. If holding my tongue is considered being PC, then whomever thinks this can kiss my behind. I like to think I'm more diplomatic than a creator of hostility.

If you wonder what a match means by this MH/CS I would just ask them and not speculate as to what they really mean. You may just end up assuming yourself out of getting to know a great person.
 
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beebee111 is offline beebee111 Post #8  October 22,2010, 5:14am
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AndieIsMe wrote :
I too wonder what some people mean by this MH/CS.
Just because I hold an opinion and the subject comes up does not mean I have (or need) to express that opinion. If holding my tongue is considered being PC, then whomever thinks this can kiss my behind. I like to think I'm more diplomatic than a creator of hostility. .
These are my sentiments exactly. I value diplomacy and maintaining harmony. Of course, if the context were different and someone was trying to impose their beliefs on me, for example, I would voice my opinion clearly.
 
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cardguy is offline cardguy Post #9  October 22,2010, 6:55am
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AndieIsMe wrote :
I too wonder what some people mean by this MH/CS. I've met people who believe that they have to make their POV loud and clear whether it will offend others or not.

Just because I hold an opinion and the subject comes up does not mean I have (or need) to express that opinion. If holding my tongue is considered being PC, then whomever thinks this can kiss my behind. I like to think I'm more diplomatic than a creator of hostility.

If you wonder what a match means by this MH/CS I would just ask them and not speculate as to what they really mean. You may just end up assuming yourself out of getting to know a great person.
I think of being overly PC not in terms of holding your own tongue, but rather as flipping out and getting angry when someone else expresses an opinion that you strongly disagree with. Personally, I think being PC is often expressed through attempts to censor others.
 
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boschimsp is online now boschimsp — Advice Member-Moderator Post #10  October 22,2010, 9:20am
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Regardless of whether it means I personally don't rule someone out based on their MH/CS. From everyone I've met through eHarmony I definitely get the sense that most people don't put much effort into these so the amount of stock they put in them is very little.

I personally think this is something better felt out through conversation with someone.
 
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